Dirty Little Secret

*POV Switch*

Val and I are watching the show from the side of the stage. I can’t wipe the smile from my face; I can’t believe I am finally at one of their shows!

The whole thing almost makes me forget about how the guys were staring at me, how they all seemed to know about the baby. But after soundcheck I was talking to Matt and he didn’t seem to be acting any different. Actually none of them did… Except for Zacky.

Zacky is the only one who has been acting strangely around me since soundcheck. And Zacky’s the one that I really want to keep this from.

I watch him as he moves gracefully across the stage to Syn, who gives him a playful smack on the ass, and they go into one of their amazing guitar duels. He really is beautiful to watch on stage. He becomes so confident; sex appeal oozes from his pores as he saunters across the stage. I lick my lips as I watch him intently.

“So how do you feel about Zack?” Val asks.

I glance at her, the first time I’ve taken my eyes off of Zacky since the show started. “What?”

“Zack. Do you like him? Do you hate him? Are you completely apathetic towards him? How do you feel?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Because inquiring minds wanna know!” She laughs. “Nah, I was just wondering. Didn’t he invite you to come?”

“Yeah, he did. It was really sweet of him; I’ve been dying to go to an A7X show for years.”

“Yeah, it was sweet. So back to the original question, how do you feel about him?”

“Of course I like him, he’s my friend.”

“So nothing more than that?”

I eye her suspiciously. “No, nothing more than that. I’m with Chuck, didn’t I tell you that?”

“I know you are but… You don’t seem very happy with Chuck. And you’ve had your eyes on Zack all night.”

“He’s amazing to watch on stage. His persona is so…grand on stage.”

“I’m sure that’s it…”

I let my eyes drift back to Zacky. How do I feel about him? It’s a good question. Sure I like him; he’s one of my best friends in the world. But do my feelings for him go beyond the realm of friendship?

I never really considered being with Zacky. I had always wanted to be with Chuck and Zacky loved Gena; me and Zacky as a couple has never been something that crossed my mind. Until that night at Johnny’s.

That one drunken night changed everything. The morning after had left me fearful that I had made a mistake, that we had been reckless. But once the initial shock of sleeping with him had settled in I didn’t regret what I had done. It was actually difficult for me to tell Val that sleeping with the father was a mistake. Why was that?

Some of the guys filter backstage and I realize that they’re getting ready for the encore. Bri gives me a quick hug and Jimmy smiles at me real fast; Matt gives Val a quick hug before they have to go back out onto the stage. I guess Zacky and Johnny exited on the other side of the stage.

They run back out onto the stage after the video clip plays on the screen and the beginning of ‘A Little Piece of Heaven’ plays. The crowd cheers and I smile as the guitars kick in. This has to be one of my favorite songs, I never thought I’d get to see it played live.

“Goodnight, Denver! We love each and every one of you all and we’ll see you next time!” Matt’s voice announces.

The roar of the crowd swells and slowly begins to die down as people begin to exit the arena.

Matt’s the first one off stage, going straight to Val and envelops her in a hug. I smile at them, they’re adorable.

Johnny gets to me. “So did you think we were good?” he smirks.

“Good? Try fucking amazing!” I exclaim. “You have got to teach me some stuff on bass! Don’t let David know, but you’re the best bassist I know!”

He smiles and Jimmy pushes him out of the way. “You’re hogging the Angel!” he announces. “So you liked the show?”

“I loved the show, Jimmy! How the hell did you learn to play drums like that? You can put Chuck in the ground!”

He smiles. “Well, I am pretty good, huh?”

“Yes, you are.”

Brian smiles as he walks past us.

That’s all I get from Synyster fucking Gates? That’s bullshit! I’m going to have to chew his ass out later.

I jump once I feel an arm drape around my shoulders and I turn to see Brian’s smiling face.

“You scared the shit out of me, Bri!” I exclaim, playfully hitting his arm.

“Sorry about that. I thought you knew I was going to come up and get ya,” he replies with a grin before pressing his lips to my temple. “So, what’d you think?”

“Amazing! Probably the best show I’ve seen in my entire life! And I loved how you smacked Zacky’s ass.”

“You know I did that just for you, babe,” he replies with a wink.

I let out a chuckle. Brian has always been a goofball.

Zacky finally gets off the stage. I open my mouth to congratulate him on the kick-ass show but he just walks right by me, not even giving me a second glance.

Brian notices the disappointment on my face and gives me a pat on the arm. “Don’t worry about him; he probably needs to take a piss or something.”

“Yeah…” I watch him as he disappears, probably heading for the dressing room. “I’m going to see what’s up with him.”

“Alright, Angel.”

I push my way past everyone, trying to get to Zacky before anyone else does. I get to the dressing room and open the door, but the room’s empty. I grimace. Where did he go? I take a seat on the couch and look around helplessly. I guess I’ll just wait for him here.

I swing my legs out in front of me, my feet gently tapping on the floor every now and then. I soon get caught up in the rhythm I've started up. Man, I'm easily amused.

“What are you doing?” Zacky’s voice asks from the doorway.

“I was waiting for you. Where did you go?”

“Smoke,” he simply states and I nod. He takes a seat next to me and sighs. I can smell the cigarette smoke on him, but surprisingly enough it doesn’t make me sick. “I’ve wanted to talk to you.”

“Really? The way you stormed off stage made me believe otherwise.”

“I needed a smoke really bad.”

“Right…”

He places a finger under my chin and directs my face to look at him. “Really.” His green eyes meet mine and I feel my heart jump up into my throat.

“Okay. So what--” But my words are lost in his mouth as his lips crash into mine.

I tense up at first but my body quickly relaxes as I let myself melt into his arms. His fingers tangle in my hair as he deepens the kiss and my arms instinctively wrap around his neck. His tongue gently parts my lips and I can faintly taste the cigarette he just had. Surprisingly enough, I’m not sickened by it.

He slowly begins to lean into my body and I recline, my back rests on the arm of the couch. I tangle my fingers in his hair and let out a soft moan as he deepens the kiss some more. I gently suck on his tongue and he moans into my mouth.

A wave of ecstasy washes over me at the sound of his moan. I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve never been kissed like this in my entire life, with the exception of my dreams.

He places a hand on my stomach and my eyes pop open. What am I doing? Panic begins to flood inside of me and I quickly push Zacky away.

He stares at me with those brilliant green eyes and places his hand back on my stomach. Shit, this can’t be happening.

“I didn’t want to believe it,” he murmurs softly, his eyes now on my stomach.

“Zacky…”

“I kept telling myself that it wasn’t possible. Kept telling myself that there was no way…” His eyes come back up and lock onto mine. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I gulp, panic taking over. I look into his big green eyes, eyes that are searching for an answer. Do I tell him the truth or do I just try to cover everything up to save him some grief? There’s only one thing I can do...

“Because it’s not yours.”