Dirty Little Secret

*POV Switch*

I let out a heavy sigh, looking up at Zacky and Brian. They’re talking over in the far corner of the room. I wonder what they’re talking about. I know it may sound conceited, but I think they’re talking about me. But what do I know?

The couch sinks down next to me. I turn to see Val with a sympathetic smile on her face. God, it’s good to have her here tonight! If she weren’t here then I think I might just go insane.

“What’s going on?”

I sigh. “I’m confused beyond belief, I’m pissed at myself, and I have probably royally fucked up a life before it’s even out of the womb.”

“Well, I can tell you that you haven’t fucked up the baby’s life. But even if you have I can tell you that all parents fuck up, so whatever you’ve done can’t be too bad.”

I give a weak laugh. She’s got a point there; all parents fuck up their kids’ lives. I know my parents inadvertently screwed up mine.

“Now what’s got you so confused?”

I look up at Zacky and a twinge of guilt hits me. I shouldn't have lied...

“Zacky.”

“Ah, well that Zack Baker is one confusing individual. What’d he do to confuse you so much?”

I sigh. I face her and gauge just how much I trust her.

“He kissed me." I groan. "And I liked it.”

“He did what? Serious? Man, I didn’t think he’d work up the nerve to do anything.”

“What?”

“Matt says that Zack’s been different since he and Gena broke up. At first they just figured it was because Zack was depressed about really ending it with her. But Brian and Jimmy picked up on some other things. It turns out Zack likes you a lot.”

I stare at her, trying to process what she has just told me, but it all makes no sense. Zacky likes me? He liked me before he found out about the baby? That kiss wasn’t out of pity?

“Val, I think you’re the only person I can trust with this.”

“What is it?”

“The baby’s not Chuck’s,” I murmur. She looks at me, confusion written all over her face. “It’s Zacky’s.”

Her eyes grow wide. “Let’s talk somewhere a bit more private.” She drags me out of the dressing room and we find an abandoned room to talk. “How? When?”

“About nine weeks ago I was in Long Beach with Simple Plan. I had gotten into a nasty argument with Chuck about him getting back with Ashley. I was livid and Pat suggested that I just take the night off to relax and take my mind off of things.

It’s the one time in my life I decided to do something completely out of character. I remembered being at the bar in Huntington with you guys. I figured what better than to drown my sorrows in alcohol and pray the hangover isn’t too bad in the morning?
Zacky was at the bar that night, he and Gena had just broken up and he was probably drowning his own sorrows. I had a lot to drink, I can’t even remember anything past like my fifth drink; I was that hammered. In the morning I woke up with a pounding headache, completely naked in bed with Zacky.

He doesn’t remember it either. All we know is that we had sex and used condoms. So I thought that I had nothing to worry about. Until about a month later I realized that I was three weeks late. Three home pregnancy tests and one doctor’s visit later and it’s confirmed that I’m knocked up.”

“So you never slept with Chuck?”

“Never.”

“Are you two really together?”

“Yes, we are. But like I told you earlier, I think he’s in it for all the wrong reasons. He says he loves me, that he wants to be the baby’s father. But I can’t believe him. Not when he was so against me having a baby in the first place.”

“Does he know it is Zack’s?”

“No, you and Myla are the only ones I’ve entrusted with that knowledge; you two are the only ones I can trust.”

“Why not tell him? Why not tell Zack?”

“Because no one else needs to know about this… And Zacky’s already gone through so much, adding a kid to the equation… I don’t want to do that to him. And I’ve got Chuck to support me--”

“But you don’t love Chuck.”

“I never said that. I just said that I’m not happy with him because I don’t feel right about why he’s with me. There is a distinct difference between that and not loving someone.”

“This is ridiculous! You’re with someone who isn’t even the father even though you know he’s in it for the wrong reasons while the father might very well be in love with you?”

“Zacky doesn’t love me. If he feels anything for me at all it’s because we fucked mere hours after he had his heart broken. I’m a fucking rebound.”

Val bites her lip. “You do what you want to then… I can’t say that I approve, but I’ll keep it quiet.”

“Thanks.”

“But he’s going to find out sooner or later.”

“Maybe, but not anytime soon, not with genetics on my side. I have too many dominate traits, it’ll look more like me than him.”

“And if it doesn’t? If it ends up looking like Zack?”

“We’ll just have to see when the time comes. But I seriously doubt that anything will show up that gives paternity away. I mean what are the chances that the kid will have green eyes?” I ask, knowing that eye color will be the biggest hint of paternity.

“I guess you’ve got a point.”

“Listen, Val, I know you don’t like this but it’s what I have to do. I hope you understand.”

“I know.”

“I shouldn’t have dumped this on you.”

“It’s fine, you needed to tell someone.”

“Val?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re a great friend, you know that?”

She smiles. “Thanks.”

“I guess we should get back before the guys wonder where we went off to.”

“Yeah, that would be a good idea.”

We get back to the dressing room and sit down on the couch. Johnny’s already downed three beers; Jimmy, Matt, and Brian are drinking with him. I notice that Zacky’s not with them. I look over to where Jason and Matt Berry are and don’t see him with them either.

Then I spot him, over in the far corner of the room sitting in a chair and talking on his phone. He looks a bit frustrated, I wonder who he’s talking to. He glances over at me and says something into the phone, quickly hanging up. He gets up and walks over to me.

“Angel.”

“Yeah, Zacky?”

“I think I should take you back to the hotel. It’s getting late and you need your rest.”

I look at Val and she just nods. “Okay. It was great seeing you, Val.” I give her a hug.

“Keep in touch, okay?”

“Don’t worry, I will.”

I get up and tell the guys bye. They each taking turns giving me hugs and telling me bye.

Zacky and I walk out of the venue and I quickly start hugging myself. Of all the days I don’t wear a hoodie and it’s chilly. Just my fucking luck I guess.

I feel something drape over my shoulders. It’s Zacky’s hoodie.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. Let’s get you to the car before you freeze.”

“It’s not that bad. I just got chilly.”

“Still, I don’t want you and the baby getting sick on my watch.”

I freeze for a moment; he’s already acknowledging the baby. I follow him out to the car and get in the passenger’s seat. He starts the car and for once I don’t mess around with the radio.

We drive in silence with the exception of music coming from the speakers. There are so many things that I want to say. Questions that I want to ask him, but none of them come out. Instead I just sit here, hoping that he’ll say something first.

He pulls into the hotel parking lot and kills the engine. Neither of us speak; I can’t even look at him. Why are we so fucking awkward? Is it because of the baby? Is it because of the kiss?

“You should really go in,” Zacky says, breaking the silence. “Chuck’s expecting you.”

My eyes dart to him. “What?”

“Chuck’s waiting for you and you’re already five minutes late… He’s probably going to have my ass if you don’t get in there soon.”

“That’s who you were talking to?”

“Yeah.”

I huff, grabbing my phone out of my purse.

“Don’t,” Zacky says, stopping me from calling Chuck. I look at him, right into his eyes. Damn those eyes!

“Why not?”

“You don’t need to be fighting over something like this. It was getting late; I was going to bring you back around now anyway.”

I can see that he’s lying, he had planned on me being around longer and Chuck changed all of his plans. But I sigh, knowing that I can’t argue with him. I don’t want to argue with him.
“Okay… I guess I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks for inviting me tonight. It was the best live show I’ve seen in my life.”

He smiles that adorable smile of his. “It was no problem. Thanks for coming.”

I reach for the door handle but stop myself. I look back at Zacky, the father of my baby. He furrows his brow, wondering if there’s something wrong. His gaze fixed on me. I reach over to him, brushing a piece of hair away from his eyes, and my fingers gently graze down his cheek.

“What are you doing?” he whispers.

“I don’t know…”

“Don’t hit me.” The words seem so familiar, like he’s told me this before.

“Why would I hit you?”

“Just promise not to.”

“I promise.”

He tucks my hair behind my ears and I close my eyes, letting them flutter open to look into his. His fingers run down my face, his thumb gently grazes my lips. I can feel a fire, a desire begin to burn in the pit of my stomach. He leans in and his lips meet mine.