Dirty Little Secret

*POV Switch*

“You’re only four centimeters dilated. You’ve got a while to go before you’re going to be ready to deliver,” Dr. Jacinto says. “But don’t worry, you’re doing wonderfully.”

“That’s good, because I sure don’t feel wonderful right now,” I reply with a groan.

She smiles. “Don’t worry; it’ll all be worth it in the end. I’ll be back in a moment.”

She exits the room.

“Four centimeters? That’s all?” I ask incredulously.

“You’re almost halfway there,” Chuck encourages. “That’s pretty good.”

“I guess. Ahh!”

Another damn contraction.

“It’s okay, just remember to breathe.”

“It’s not an easy thing to forget,” I growl.

“If they’re getting that bad then you should get the epidural.”

“No,” I grit my teeth. “I told you that I wasn’t going to get one.”

“But--”

“I’m fine,” I insist through gritted teeth.

He gives me a disapproving look.

It’s been one of the many things we have argued about in the last six months about the baby. He wanted to know the sex of the baby, I told him I wanted it to be a surprise; he wanted to move to Montreal, I wanted to stay in the States; he wanted the baby to have his last name, I wanted to use mine; he liked the names Chantel and Travis, and I think that the name will come to me after I see it. We always argue about the baby, what we think is best for it.

Actually, we always argue. And it’s over little things too. We had a huge blow out over picking out a movie the other day. It resulted in me not talking to him for two hours. But most of our fights have to do with Zacky… I mentioned I missed him the other day and Chuck just about lost it.

The door opens and Val and Myla enter the room.

I smile at them.

Or at least I try to smile. I’m sure the pained expression on my face isn’t very convincing.

“How are you holding up?” Myla asks.

“I’m still alive, so that’s a good thing.”

“Yeah. This baby sure has good timing, decides it wants out when you’re in Cali. It’s like it knew this is the best place in the world to be born.”

I chuckle at the comment.

“I know; it must have known that I wanted you guys here.”

I look at Val and she looks like she has bad news. This can’t be good… I take it that Zacky isn’t going to make it…

“Chuck, baby, will you get me some ice?”

“Sure, I’ll be right back.” He places a kiss on my forehead and walks out of the room.

“He’s not coming, is he?” I ask Val.

“He says he’s sorry but he has plans today. I’m sorry, sweetie. I know you wanted him to be here.”

“Plans that don’t involve the guys? Wow, that’s not likely. But it’s okay. I’m sure it’s probably for the best that he isn’t here…” I reply, trying to cover up the disappointment in my voice.

“Why won’t you tell him?” Myla asks softly.

“What?”

“You heard me. Why are you being so stupid about this? It’s his kid, he should know. He should be in this room right now, holding your hand and letting you scream stuff at him like how he is never going to touch you ever again and that it is all his fault you are in this situation.”

“Of all times to have this discussion with me and you choose when I’m in labor?”

“I’m just wondering. I mean this is all really elaborate stuff just to hide paternity from him. And I’m sorry, but I would have been able to see right through your whole ‘It’s Chuck’s baby’ story.”

“I’ve already told you, he’s not ready for this.”

“And Chuck is?”

“You’ve seen him. He’s got everything down to a T, of course he’s ready.”

“You don’t see it, do you?” Val asks softly.

“What?”

“He’s scared. He’s not ready for this. He’s just doing this because he loves you and he’s trying to keep a brave face, but he is scared shitless.”

“This isn’t even his baby. You don’t have to put him through this,” Myla adds softly.

Chuck enters the room and our eyes lock.

Why didn’t I see it sooner?

They’re right. He’s scared.

He’s scared out of his fucking mind.