Dirty Little Secret

*POV Switch*

9:45

Zacky’s nowhere in sight.

“I told you he wouldn’t show up,” Chuck mutters softly.

I bite my lip when the door opens, hoping that it’s Zacky.

But my hopes are dashed when Nikki comes into the room, carefully cradling Evie I her arms.

“It’s time to go,” she says as she passes Evie off to me.

“Can’t I just have a few more--”

“Baby, we really need to get going. I told you he was busy today; he’s not going to show,” Chuck says and I can feel my heart slowly break.

“Alright…” I reply dejectedly.

Chuck had already done all the necessary paperwork and we quickly exit the hospital, out to a rental car that I guess he decided to get for the day.

That’s Chuck for you, always planning things.

He gets Evie’s car seat settled in the backseat and I climb into the passenger’s seat, looking back at her worriedly.

“She’s fine, baby. Don’t worry,” he says, taking my hand in his and gently rubbing his thumb over mine.

“Okay… I was just checking…” I reply, my voice sounding rather small.

“Hey, are you alright?” he asks as he starts to pull out of the parking lot, his hand still holding onto mine.

“Yeah, I’m fine…”

He sighs. “I know you really wanted him to show up. But I told you he wouldn’t make it.”

I quickly pull my hand away from him. “I know you did.”

“I guess Zack’s perfect record’s out the window now,” he chuckles slightly.

I shoot him a nasty look; but he doesn’t see it because his eyes are focused on the road.

I furrow my brow, trying to remember when the hell Chuck learned to drive a car. Last I had checked he didn’t even have a license and that was only a little over a year ago… Driving was never a big deal for him since he always had someone to take him places. I guess he decided to learn since he was going to have me and Evie to take care of…

Like I said, Chuck’s always been quite the planner.

I turn on the radio and Crushcrushcrush fills the car. I quickly change the station, too many memories of my drunken stupor nine months ago come to mind when I hear this song.

I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here
'Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here
I still try... holding onto silly things, I never learn
Oh why? All the possibilities. I'm sure you've heard

God, how many Paramore songs have to be on the damn radio? I change stations again.

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you there
Please tell me what we have is real

Nope! Not listening to you either!

I turn off the radio and huff.

Chuck glances at me for a moment before his eyes return to the road.

We arrive at Myla’s after a long and silent car ride back from the hospital. I get Evie and carry her to the front door, not saying a word to Chuck.

I know I shouldn’t be mad at him because Zacky didn’t show up…

But I am mad at him for the “I told you he wouldn’t show” he muttered when Zacky was a no show at the hospital.

I ring the bell and Myla promptly opens the door with a smile.

“Come on in, guys!” she smiles.

“Thanks,” I mumble as I walk into the house.

“Thanks for letting us stay here for the day, Myla,” Chuck says, giving her a quick hug.

“Not a problem, glad we could help you out. Oh, and before I forget; Gelica, we’re going to be going over to Matt and Val’s around noon.”

I set Evie down and raise an eyebrow. “Why don’t they come here?” I ask as I look around the room; I'm sure it's big enough to hold everyone.

“Because their house is bigger and will be able to fit everyone better. If we all came over here then we’d get all claustrophobic!”

I laugh as she makes a choking gesture with her hands up to her throat.

“Sure, sure. It’ll be nice to see Matt and Val before we leave. Any idea who else will be there?” I ask as I sit down on the couch, taking Evie into my arms.

“Well I know Gates and Michelle were going to be there, Leana wants to see you so Jimmy will be there too… Lacey and Johnny... I guess the whole A7X gang.”

Great, Zacky will probably show up with Gena…

“That sounds great!” I reply, faking a smile.

Myla gives me a critical look and turns to Chuck.

“Brian was out back working on something for Amber, but he was having some trouble. Would you mind helping him out?” she asks.

“Sure,” he walks over to me and places a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Okay.”

He disappears from the room and Myla takes a seat next to me.

“Spill. What’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “Nothing…”

“I think you forget that I’m your sister and I know you better than pretty much anyone else on the planet. What’s wrong?”

I bite the inside of my lip. Damn, she’s right… I hate it when she’s right…

I let out a heavy sigh. “Zacky didn’t show up at the hospital this morning…”

“That’s what this is about? Zacky not showing up?”

“Yeah…” I mumble, fighting back tears that want to come out. I swear I've gotten way too emotional lately.

“Angel, why is it bothering you so much?”

“He promised, Myla! He’s never broken a promise to me before…”

“Well then maybe something came up,” she replies, trying to reason with me.

“Like Gena…” I mutter bitterly, spitting her name out with venom.

“I thought he ended it with her.”

“I thought so too. But Chuck told me yesterday after Zacky left that he told him he wouldn’t be able to make it because he had something to do with Gena. I didn’t believe him… But after Zacky didn’t show this morning… What am I supposed to think?”

She sighs. “I’m sure that he’s not with Gena. Why would he go back to her when he told you he loves you?”

I bite my lip, the tears now so dangerously close to escaping. “Because I told him I don’t feel the same way… Remember?”

“And you really think that’s enough for him to just stop loving you and go back to Skankzilla?”

“Yesterday I would have said no.” I sigh. “But today… I don’t know what to think after today…”

A couple of tears finally leak out of my eyes, slowly rolling down my cheeks. Myla gently wipes then away with her thumb.

“Sweetie, you’re so torn up. Why?”

“I just…”

I remember the dream I had; the one with me, Zacky, and Evie as a happy little family. It had felt so fucking right…

“I just hate that he may not see Evie before we leave for Montreal,” I reply through my tears.

She looks at me for a moment, trying to see if I’m lying; but my tears make it hard for her to read my emotions.

Technically, I’m not lying. I really don’t like that he may not see his daughter before we leave.

But I think I’m crying because I know that with Chuck I will never have any of the things I saw in my dream. Evie and Amber will never get to grow up together, I’ll still be far away from Myla, and every kiss will always feel like there’s something missing…