Trying and Failing.
Chapter Two
She woke up to the birds chirping through her slightly open window. He hair blended in with the cotton sheets her thin body laid on, everything was seemingly perfect, except the fact that she couldn’t breath. It felt as if her lungs had shrunken immensely in her sleep. She tried sitting up, hoping it was simply her position but as she did so all of the blood rushed to her face and the world spun upside down.
She hugged the new bear tightly listening to her raspy breathing; she couldn’t get her once playful mind to quiet down for a second. Thoughts raced in and out quickly, leaving her confused and jumbled.
Finally she couldn’t stay still any longer, she slipped out of bed and headed towards the kitchen for a glass of water. As her tiny feet padded down the hallway her heart started to pound, her mind shouted out all of it’s doubts and precautions, and her nose and mouth were filled with an awful metallic smell. Still she pressed on, she was determined to get to sleep, she had kindergarten tomorrow and she couldn’t resist showing her friends her new bear.
Stepping into the dark kitchen her foot met with a warm liquid and body met with a stool sending two bodies crashing onto the wet tile floor. She shrieked as her head connected with the ground sending her into blackness, she wouldn’t know until she woke up that her father’s dead body was laying a foot from her, but once she did she’d never forget it.
She could have saved him.
A few hours later the world opened up and let her in again, losing consciousness was a usual thing for her lately, the doctors said it was because she was too skinny but she just thought it was God letting her into heaven, a little bit at a time.
Slowly and cautiously she brought her body out of the bed, her arms pulling and heaving meticulously. They shook under her weight, but of course she didn’t think of this as a sign of weakness, no, she thought of it as a sign that she was still too heavy. That was all her mind went to anymore. Those were the only thoughts she could fully form and now that she was living alone and there was no one to take care of her she let them get to her. She let them take her over.
She never realized perfection would cause so many problems, she never realized it would be so hard to reach either. But simple everyday things were almost impossible, things like getting out of bed.
Finally she hoisted her body out of her small twin bed and walked to the kitchen. She grabbed a small bowl and poured all of the ingredients for the least fattening food she could find, wheat cereal. She chewed gradually, counting to twenty-four each time as she had learned so well on the website. She put her fork down between each bite and took her time, like she read on the site. That site had taught her so much; it’s what got her this close, this close to perfection. It was so close she could taste it between bites of her tasteless cereal.
She hugged the new bear tightly listening to her raspy breathing; she couldn’t get her once playful mind to quiet down for a second. Thoughts raced in and out quickly, leaving her confused and jumbled.
Finally she couldn’t stay still any longer, she slipped out of bed and headed towards the kitchen for a glass of water. As her tiny feet padded down the hallway her heart started to pound, her mind shouted out all of it’s doubts and precautions, and her nose and mouth were filled with an awful metallic smell. Still she pressed on, she was determined to get to sleep, she had kindergarten tomorrow and she couldn’t resist showing her friends her new bear.
Stepping into the dark kitchen her foot met with a warm liquid and body met with a stool sending two bodies crashing onto the wet tile floor. She shrieked as her head connected with the ground sending her into blackness, she wouldn’t know until she woke up that her father’s dead body was laying a foot from her, but once she did she’d never forget it.
She could have saved him.
A few hours later the world opened up and let her in again, losing consciousness was a usual thing for her lately, the doctors said it was because she was too skinny but she just thought it was God letting her into heaven, a little bit at a time.
Slowly and cautiously she brought her body out of the bed, her arms pulling and heaving meticulously. They shook under her weight, but of course she didn’t think of this as a sign of weakness, no, she thought of it as a sign that she was still too heavy. That was all her mind went to anymore. Those were the only thoughts she could fully form and now that she was living alone and there was no one to take care of her she let them get to her. She let them take her over.
She never realized perfection would cause so many problems, she never realized it would be so hard to reach either. But simple everyday things were almost impossible, things like getting out of bed.
Finally she hoisted her body out of her small twin bed and walked to the kitchen. She grabbed a small bowl and poured all of the ingredients for the least fattening food she could find, wheat cereal. She chewed gradually, counting to twenty-four each time as she had learned so well on the website. She put her fork down between each bite and took her time, like she read on the site. That site had taught her so much; it’s what got her this close, this close to perfection. It was so close she could taste it between bites of her tasteless cereal.