We Change, We Wait

“I can’t believe you John!” I told him angrily. I was frustrated and distraught and altogether upset.

“I said I was sorry,” he spoke quietly. He’d told me so many times I’d lost count that he hated fighting with me but here we are again… fighting.

“You’re sorry… You forgotmy birthday,our one year anniversary,and you stood me up! On our anniversary John!” I got louder until I was practically screaming at him… Scratch that Iwas screaming at him.

“I don’t know what you want me to do Annie!” he yelled. Apparently every ounce of self control he had escaped him. It was always like this… I would get mad at something he did and wasn’t supposed to or something he didn’t do that he was supposed and here was exactly where we’d end up. I’ve had it with this argument, normally I would leave now, he’d call me tomorrow saying how ridiculously sorry he was and we’d get on with our lives.

“I want you to care god damn it…” I said letting tears fall down my face. It hurt every time we fought and it hurts right now but if someone asked me if he cared I would say I didn’t know. I really don’t, he doesn’t act like he does…

“I do care,” he whispered, near tears himself.

“Well, obviously not enough!” I spat, angry again. How dare him say that he cares after what he did to me today.

“How the hell would you know, Annie?! Since when are you inside my head?!” he yelled. He was such a child about everything.

“You’ll never grow up…” I said shaking my head. I turned on my heel and left. I left his apartment, left him standing there near tears staring after me, and I left to chase my dreams without him.

-

I’m finally where I want to be and now I remember that day. It was nearly a year ago and now I remember it. What the hell is wrong with me? That was a rhetorical question just for your information because to actually answer it would take way too long. Midnight Sunrise finally got signed, and to Hopeless Records! We recorded our debut EP, its called Turn It Up! Now we’re on Warped Tour! I can hardly believe it.

I can’t help but be nervous though. John was in a band too. I have no clue if him and the guys made it. Hell, I don’t even know what they finally named the band, I left before they had a solid name. He called me every day for two months after the fight. I never answered because I wanted to get over him and though it would help. He hasn’t called me since then though.

I was fidgeting in the back seat of our eleven seat van as I though of all this. To distract myself I’ll tell you how we’re sitting. I actually like how we’re sitting right now. Before we stopped the last time, that sucked I was about to beat my head against the window I swear it. I love every single one of my band mates, they’re all like family but every family member has their peeves about the others.

Tyler for instance… He’s the oldest and I guess in his puny little mind this puts him in charge. Not in my book buddy. Anyways he’s driving so I don’t have to deal with his smart ass comments as much. Tyler is our drummer just so you know. Kaleb, our guitarist, and Tori, she plays synth, are in the second row seats. Cage, our bassist, and me, I sing, are in the very back row. Eric our tour manager is the passenger seat. Anyways, not that I play favorites or anything, but Cage and I get along the best. I have no clue why but we do.

“Annie?” A hand was waved in front of my face. I came out of my daze and saw Cage looking at me.

“Huh, sorry, totally spaced again,” I told him with a smile.

“You’ve been doing that a lot lately. What were you thinking about?” he asked.

“Probably lover boy again,” Tyler said from the front seat. See that was one of those smart ass comments that I don’t like dealing with. I picked up my flip flop and threw it across the van. It hit him in the back of his fat head and I earned a few laughs from the other passengers.

“Go to hell Tyler,” I told him. “I was thinking of John though,” I had trouble saying his name out loud. I forced back the tears like I had done so many times before. I truly missed John, I mean we had so many good times. It was never all bad with John… I’ll admit he pissed me off a lot but he was too sweet too. I just wish I knew where he was now…