We Change, We Wait

I walked through the all too familiar halls of the hospital. I was here way too much lately. For two months I have been in this building every single day. The first few weeks I was on crutches but now my leg is in a boot which I get off soon along with the cast underneath it. I approached room 367 and opened the door slowly and quietly. I went and sat in the chair that was exactly where I left it last night. I looked at the bed then and tried to smile but I couldn’t. Annie lay in the same position she had been in for two months, the only sign that she was even alive was the steady rise and fall of her chest.

“Hey baby,” I whispered. I talked to her everyday. When I was about eight my mom’s best friend went into a coma, she said I should talk to her because she can hear me. She said talking to her would make her wake up sooner, and so I talk to Annie just like I would talk to Leah. “I really miss you honey… We all miss you Annie. I’ve been writing a lot lately, so have the guys. Garrett should be coming up here today… He’s still with that girl Kayla but none of us really like her. It’ll be a month in a few days that they’ve been together. Today’s two and half months for us,” I told her, tears were sliding down my cheeks. I took her hand in mine and kissed the back of it, her skin was still soft and warm.

“Knock, knock,” Garrett said softly as he entered the room, he was alone, thank god. “Hey John, how’s she doing?”

“Nothing’s changed,” I replied sadly, my hand still wrapped around hers.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m alright, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“I miss her,” I whispered. I knew Garrett could hear how broken my voice was, I could hear it. I’m sick of pretending that I’m ok when I’m not.

“We all miss her John, she’s gonna be ok though. Annie’s strong, you know that as well as I do, she’ll make it through this,” he told me, he put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it once. I kept my eyes locked on Annie’s face. I wished she would open her eyes.

-

One Week Later

I sat in the same seat I sat in everyday when I came to visit and looked at the same scene that I saw everyday when I came. I wished, desperately, that she would open her eyes, that she would wake up and tell me she loved me too, tell me that she missed me too, anything, she could tell me that she hates me and I would still hold onto her and be happy knowing that she’s alive and healthy. I took her hand like as usual and squeezed it softly.

“Annie, baby, I love you,” I whispered and pressed my lips to her forehead. “I love you so much,” I promised; my voice was low and rough. I squeezed her hand again lightly and started when I felt returned pressure. I sat back and experimentally squeezed her hand, I felt the same pressure again and realized that she had returned the pressure. I got up and went out into the hall and to the desk, I was practically running, and asked for a doctor. I told him what had happened and he followed me into Annie’s room. He did the same thing I did and scribbled some things down on a clipboard. “This is good right?” I asked hopefully.

“Yes, it looks like she’s showing more brain activity. If she keeps improving she could wake up later tonight or tomorrow,” he told me. I was speechless, even if I could find my voice I wouldn’t know what to say. “You can stay with her overnight if you’d like. We don’t usually allow it but I think I can make an exception.”

“Thank you so much,” I replied after finally finding the words and forcing them out of my mouth. I called the guys and they stayed until nine when visiting hours were over. I stayed awake watching her, struggling to keep my eyes open.

-

I must’ve fallen asleep around midnight. I opened my eyes and rubbed the sleep from them before directing my attention to Annie. Her eyes were still closed and my heart fell a little bit. The guys got there about an hour later, at eleven. She still hadn’t woken up by noon and I was started to get worried. We were listening to Jared and Garrett argue at the moment, normally I would’ve laughed but I couldn’t, not when I was so worried.

“Garrett?” a raspy voice said quietly. We all looked to Annie who was sitting up slightly with her blue eyes open and fixed on Garrett.

“Hey, you’re awake,” he smiled and got up to stand beside her bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Weird, where am I?” she asked, her voice a little clearer.

“You’re at the hospital in Tempe,” he told her, his voice was gentle, he was probably afraid he would scare her. “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go get a doctor,” he told her. She nodded and he walked out into the hall. She looked around the room and her brows furrowed in confusion. We all watched her without saying a word and then the doctor came in trailing Garrett.

“Alright, I’m going to ask you a few questions ok?”

“Yeah, ok.”

“Alright, what’s your full name?”

“Annie Skye Jensen,” she replied without hesitation.

“Alright, where do you live, city and state please?”

“Tempe, Arizona,” she replied just as easily.

“Good, and do you know the year?”

“2004,” she answered after a few seconds. It was my turn to be confused, it’s 2009 not 2004…

“Can you boys come out into the hall with me please?” the doctor asked, we all nodded and followed him into the hall. “Annie has temporary memory loss. I don’t know how long it will last, but I assure you it’s temporary,” he explained, my heart stopped. If Annie thought it was 2004 then she hadn’t met me yet. I met Annie four years ago; the only one of us who knew her in 2004 was Garrett, realization hit then. That’s why she had acknowledged him first; he was the only one she recognized. “You all can go in there and introduce yourselves and explain everything to her but I don’t know how she’ll react, everyone’s different.” With that, he walked away. We filed back into the room and Garrett sat where I had been sitting while I stood behind him.

“Annie, honey, do you know how old you are?” he asked her softly.

“No,” she whispered, her confusion was plain on her features.

“This might be hard for you to accept Annie but you need to listen to me ok?” Garrett told her slowly, she nodded. “It’s September of 2009, today is Wednesday. You’re nineteen years old and these guys are your best friends and band mates. You were kidnapped a little over two months ago and you went into a coma,” he explained.

“I don’t understand,” she whispered.

“I know its hard Annie, but you know all of these people. Think Annie, you know this stuff,” he promised her. “They’re all going to tell you their names and how old they, when they met you, and what they do in each of the bands ok?” She nodded slowly and Jared stepped forward.

“I’m Jared Monaco, I’m twenty. I met you at school in 2005, and I play guitar in The Maine with Garrett,” he told her.

“I’m Kennedy Brock, twenty, met you at school the same day you met Jared and I play guitar and sing back up vocals in The Maine.” They continued around the room, and Cage was the second to last one to step up.

“Hey Annie, I’m Cage, I’m seventeen. I met you in 2007 when you moved in across the street. I play bass in Midnight Sunrise,” he told her quietly. I stepped around the chair where Garrett sat then.

“I’m John O’Callaghan; I met you in 2005 on the first day of school. I’m twenty years old. I sing for The Maine,” I told her softly. She looked at me for a long moment and I know she saw the unguarded hope that was in my eyes.

“Hey guys, let’s leave these two alone for a few minutes. Annie we’ll be right out in the hall, there’s some stuff John needs to tell you,” Garrett said before leaving the room with everyone following. I watched them leave and then turned back to Annie.

“I know I should remember you, you look so familiar but I can’t understand why. It’s like I’m hitting a wall when I try to remember you,” she told me.

“I’m gonna explain some things to you Annie. I don’t want to scare you but you need to know and I think it could help you remember. Some of the stuff you never knew to begin with and I’m sorry for that ahead of time. I want you to know that I’m telling you because the time that I spent with you was the best time of my life. I met you a month before school started in 2005. You were at the mall with Garrett and he invited me because he wanted you to meet me. We spent the day together and became friends.
About a month and half later I asked you to go on a date with me. I took you to dinner and movie and kissed you when I dropped you off at your house. I told the guys about it the next day and Garrett told me I should just ask you to be my girlfriend. I waited a week before I did and then I caught you after lunch. You said yes and I thought my heart stopped. You and I were inseparable. A week before your birthday that year, I lied to you though. You asked me to come over and I said I had to stay home but I didn’t. I told you that so I could go out to a club with a fake ID. I’m sorry for that, it was stupid and I regret it.
We fought a lot but I’ve always loved you Annie. A little over a year ago we got into the worst fight we’ve ever had. Usually when we fought one of us would leave for a few hours and then come back and we’d make up. You told me that you were finished and sick of fighting and that I didn’t care enough to change for you. You left and the biggest mistake of my life was not going after you. Three years of my life was spent loving you and I didn’t know what to do when you left. We had so many great times though Annie. Everyone said we’d last forever, they never saw our fights, maybe that wouldn’t have changed how they felt though.
Like two years after I asked you out. I called you at like eleven o’clock. I told you to meet me at 8123 Skylar Avenue at midnight. You came and we spent the night in the tree house in the back yard of the house, no one had lived there in years.”

“John, that night, it sounds so familiar,” she told me. She looked at her hands and played with her fingers. She was quiet for a long time, just staring at her hands. “John?”

“Yes, Annie?”

“I was in love you, right?” she asked, her voice no more than a whisper.

“I hope so,” I laughed once, “that’s what you always told me.”

“Johnathan Cornelius O’Callaghan,” she whispered.

“What did you say?” I asked, my voice a shocked murmur.

“That’s your name… I’m an idiot… Of course I know you, and Cage, and Kaleb, Tyler, Tori, Jared, Kenny, Pat, all of them. The first song I ever wrote with Midnight Sunrise was P.S. I Quit. We were on Warped Tour. I couldn’t sleep so I got up and started walking around. I sat down with my back against a tree and then some guy grabbed me and knocked me out, I dropped my phone. I woke up in a warehouse and he started talking to me. Then he called you and I talked to you and then I was hanging from the ceiling and I heard voices but I couldn’t see and then I was falling. I heard you John, I heard you talking to me. It wasn’t your fault.” She spoke quietly and quickly, and all I could do was stare at her. I felt like I was watching the next few minutes happen. My hands found her face and my lips were on hers, moving in perfect synch. Her hands wound into my hair and I had never been so happy in my entire life…

“I love you,” I promised in a whisper against her lips.

“I love you too.”