We Change, We Wait

“Where in the hell is Garrett?” I asked. I was irritated out of my damn mind. We had to decide on our set list and Garrett just kind of walked away. I swear to god once I find him his ass is mine…

“He walked off saying something about food but I don’t know where exactly he went,” Pat said from his spot leaning against our van. I shook my head and pushed away from the van walking in the direction I had thought Garrett went. I was walking through the throngs of people when I saw the back of his fat head walking in the opposite direction. I came up behind him and caught his shoulder.

“Hey Garrett, we’ve been looking…” I stopped. I had completely lost my voice. There standing before him was a thin, beautiful, outgoing, perfect girl staring at the ground. It was then that I realized that that girl had left me nearly a year before. I couldn’t help the anger that flared at the memory of the sleepless nights, the hundred phone calls that I had given her. She never answered the phone, she never called me back, she just left. She left me heartbroken and apparently didn’t give a shit about it. “Meet us in five minutes,” I told Garrett quietly trying to reign in my anger.

She looked up at that moment and our eyes locked. I couldn’t pull away so I backed away from her and then turned once I found the strength to. I walked away quickly leaving her and Garrett standing there. I didn’t go back to the van and I didn’t go to the bathroom and I didn’t go where anyone would think I did. Instead I walked out of the lot and towards a small bus stop down the street. I could see the bench and the signs for political figures cluttering the awning from where I stood. I kept walking with a determined mind set. I would go and sit and think for however long it took about what I would do about the current situation.

I had been sitting on the bench for about twenty minutes when my phone rang. I picked it up and looked at my caller id. I didn’t recognize the number that was flashing across my screen but I answered anyways.

“Hello?” I asked more than answered.

“John?” the mystery person asked.

“Yes, who is this?” I was getting somewhat freaked out by this random person calling my cell phone.

“It doesn’t matter, the boys are looking for you, I just though you should know,” the voice told me.

“Wait who is this?” I asked again but it was too late. The person had already hung up the phone before I had gotten the chance to speak. I stood up feeling a little jittery after that odd phone call. I walked quickly back to the lot and found our van where the guys where all waiting and looking anxious.

“John, where the hell have you been?! You scared the shit out of us!” Kenny told me as I approached the group.

“Sorry I had to think. I walked down to the bus stop down the street,” I explained.

“So you couldn’t have told us so we weren’t running around like morons trying to find you?” he asked. The looks on the faces of my four best friends and band mates ranged from anxious worry to extreme anger. The anxious worry was Jared and the extreme anger was none other than Kennedy. I could understand all of them. We barely know our surroundings and they all know how bad I am with directions so it would make sense for them to get worried.

“I don’t know Kenny… look I’m sorry and really tired so I’m just gonna hang out in the van and maybe try to sleep a little bit. Just get me if you all need anything ok,” I told them tiredly. I couldn’t get her out of my head… I still had a lot of thinking to do. I climbed into the back seat of the van and laid my head against the window.

“John stop!” she yelled playfully. I had been chasing her around my house for five minutes. Every time I caught her I would tickle her until she got away from me again. She had just got away and was running again. She laughed when I tripped and almost fell on the stairs. She got to the end of the hall and realized that she didn’t have anywhere else to go. I continued running down the hallway and grabbed her around the waist. She laughed and wrapped her slender arms around my neck before pressing her soft lips to mine.

“Now I’ll stop,” I told her with a smile when she pulled away.

“Good,” she said before burying her face in my chest. I laid my head on top of hers and started to hum softly. We began to rock back and forth slowly to the imagined beat in our head.

“Come on get higher, loosen my lips. Faith and desire and the swing of your hips. Just to pull me down hard, and drown me in love,” I sang softly to one of her favorite songs. When I stopped she looked up and me and smiled. She had the face of an angel, the only angel I need…

I woke with a start only to find the same shabby van that I had fallen asleep in. It was starting to get dark outside. I took my phone out of my pocket and checked the time, seven thirty. I pulled the van door open and saw that there was a huge crowd around a big fire in the center of the lot. I sat on the edge of the seat with the door open and decided that I was going to find out who the hell called me.

Meet me behind the buses closest to the street in five minutes. Please.

I hit send and then shut my phone. I got up and closed the door and headed towards the buses. I was sitting down on the ground with my head back against the bus and my eyes closed when I heard foot steps approaching. I opened my eyes and could hardly believe them.

“Hey,” she said in a small voice.

“Um, hi,” I said just as quietly. We were both silent for a minutes or so before she spoke up.

“Why did you ask me to come?” she asked so quietly that I was surprised I even heard her.

“The same reason you came, curiosity killed the cat…” I told her closing my eyes again. I heard her sit next to me and I decided to voice my thoughts on what happened last year. I turned towards her and opened my mouth to talk but she was faster.

“If you’re going to yell I understand why but I’d rather you not…” I lost my courage. Truth be told I was going to yell at her and let ever bit of anger and sadness and despair out right there behind the buses but I couldn’t do it.

“Why’d you do it Annie?” I asked desperately after a minute.

“Do what John?” she asked looking up at me.

“Leave,” I whispered. That was enough explanation because she looked away and started to play with her fingers. She had always had that nervous habit…

“I couldn’t take it anymore John. All the fighting, it was too much,” she whispered still looking down.

“Do you ever feel? What if you leaving was too much for me?” I asked her. I was upset but I refused to lose my self control and yell at her.

“Would you believe me if I said I’m sorry I left?”

“I don’t know Annie,” I said looking away.

“What if I said I still love you?” she whispered. I looked up and our eyes met. A tear ran down her cheek and before I had time to respond she got up and ran. I stood up quickly.

“Annie wait!” I called but she never slowed.