We Change, We Wait

How could I have been so stupid? What was I thinking going to see him? Ugh. I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it but what did I do?! I fucking went anyway because I’m a masochistic idiot. I was sitting in the back seat of the bus waiting for the guys to come back which was stupid too because they were at the bonfire. So I sat alone crying my eyes out. After a few minutes the door slid open.

“Annie?” a familiar voice asked. I didn’t look up because I didn’t want him to see me like this. I felt the seat shift next to me and hands grab my wrists gently. “Annie what happened?”

“I went to see John…” I said quietly trying to keep my voice from breaking.

“Annie, look at me I can’t hear you when your face is in your arms,” he said pulling my arms away from my face. Cage. “Now what happened?”

“I went to see John,” I spoke clearly to my amazement. His eyes got wide and his mouth dropped open before he could compose himself.

“Why?” he asked incredulously. I’d told Cage everything about me when we met. I’ve known him for three years and he knows more about me than almost anyone else… almost. Actually there’s only one person who knows me better than Cage and the both of them know me better than I know myself.

“After I saw him when I saw Garrett he walked away. Well, he didn’t go back to meet the guys and I still had his number. I called him on private and told him the guys were looking for him. It took me forever to decide whether or not to actually call him… then he texted me about thirty minutes ago and said to meet him behind the buses. I went; I have absolutely no clue why. Then he asked me why I left and I told him. I asked him what he would do if I said I was sorry I left and he said he didn’t know and then I asked him…” I trailed off trying to hold back the heart wrenching sobs that threatened to escape. I calmed my self and tried again. “I asked him what he would do if I said I still loved him… he didn’t say anything so I got up and ran because I was crying and he called after me but I didn’t stop. I came here and then you showed up.”

“Aw, honey, I’m sorry. I wish you would’ve told me… I could’ve stayed here in case you came back like this,” he said softly while pulling me into an embrace.

"I'm just a little confused on what to do," I said into his chest. This is what I loved about Cage. He never judged, he never assumed, he never insulted… he just cared. Instead of lecturing me on how fucking masochistic I already know I am he comforts me. Instead of judging me by my past he tells me everything will be ok because I’ll always have him, no matter what. “Thank you, Cage,” I said pulling away to look him in the eyes. He smiled softly; there was no need to say why, he already knew.

-

Ah the chaos of the very first show on tour. Warped will definitely be interesting if it continues like this for every show. People running frantically trying to get each band ready for their set, going through sound checks, setting up merch, trying to find members of the band, everything is so crazy. It’s relaxing in a way. I think it’s because I finally realized that we’re here and we’re finally getting what we’ve wanted for years. Our set started in five minutes so we were all waiting backstage.

“Alright guys, pull in,” Tyler said. We had a ritual that we did before we played. We’d huddle up and give ourselves a pep talk, and then we’d put our hands in and yell something, whatever had the most to do with the show we were playing normally. “Our first big show and its Warped Tour! We’ve been waiting for this break forever guys. Hurley stage, it’s our day, our time to shine, we can do this.”

“Let’s go guys,” Kaleb chimed in.

“Alright, ‘Warped’ on three,” Tyler said as we all put our hands in, “One, two, three,”

“Warped!” we all yelled. At about that time we were told to go on stage. We all grabbed our stuff and ran up the steps.

“Hello Jacksonville!” I yelled into the mic as I took center stage. “How are you all doing today?!” A loud cheer erupted from the crowd. I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. “That’s rad! We’re Midnight Sunrise and we hope you enjoy our set.” We all dove into the first song and gave it everything we had.

“And oh,
I’m so done with waiting for,
You to be with me.
And soon,
I’ll be gone and out the door,
And all you’ll have is this little note that says,
My little note that says!
P.S. I quit.”

I sang the last chorus and the boys ended our final song of the day. I could feel the adrenaline pulsing in my veins. I saw the excitement on my band mates faces and I knew mine reflected theirs. There was an excitement that stayed with us as we listened to the crowd cheer loud and clear for us.

“Thank you all so much for coming out! We hope to see you again soon!” I yelled before running off the stage.