We Change, We Wait

I was wandering aimlessly around Warped. Last night was one of the best nights of my life and one of the worst. The best because I saw Annie again and there’s a small chance that she still loves me. The worst because I had to watch her run away again…

“John! Sound check in five,” someone yelled at me. I turned to see Jared standing there. I nodded and we both took off running to our stage. We got there in about three minutes and the guys looked kinda pissed that I was almost late. We had our sound check and then waited back stage for our set to start. Before we knew it we were headed onto the stage.

“Hey everybody!” I yelled into the mic. A cheer erupted from the crowd and I smiled. This is what I was here for, to play music and have fun entertaining our fans. “Sounds like you all are doing pretty good,” I said and they cheered again. “Cool, this song is called The Town’s Been Talking.”

We were almost done with our set when I saw her. She was standing side stage, partially hidden behind some guy. I thought I had seen him before from a different band. She didn’t notice that I had found her so I looked away quickly. After we finished the song we were playing I went to the guys and told them I wanted to change the last song on the set list. They all agreed and I went back to the mic.

“Alright, we are actually going to switch our set up a little bit. We’re changing the last song which is this next one. We were going to play a song called Daisy but we’re going to play this new song that we have. It’s actually an acoustic song, its called Whoever She Is,” I explained while the guys got ready to play. Garrett, Pat, and Kenny all walked off the stage while Jared got his acoustic guitar. “We hope you all enjoy it.”

“I thought I had my girl but she ran away
My car got stolen and I'm gonna be late
For work this week, make that the fourth day straight
But I'm fine with it
I thought I had it all but I gave it away
I quit that old job and now I'm doing okay
Those material things, they can't get in my way
Cause I'm over it

But where ever she may be
She could be money, cars, fear of the dark
Your best friends are just strangers in bars
Whoever she is, whoever she may be
One things for sure,
You don't have to worry

And this is the part
Where you find out who you are
And these are your friends
Those who've been there from the start
So to hell with the bad news
Dirt on your new shoes
It rained all of May ‘til the month of June

But wherever she may be
She could be money, cars, fear of the dark
Your best friends are just strangers in bars
Whoever she is, whoever she may be
One things for sure,
You don't have to worry

And every day in every way
She looks the same
And every care you used to have
Just seems to float away
And every day in every way
She looks the same
And every care you used to have
Just seems to float away

To hell with your new shit
Whether or not you think you fit in

She could be money, cars, fear of the dark
Your best friends are just strangers in bars
Where ever she is, whoever she may be
One things for sure,
You don't have to worry

She could be rainy days, minimum wage
A book that ends with no last page
Whoever she is, whoever she may be
One things for sure,
You don't have to worry,”

I sang looking directly at her and I know she saw me this time. We made eye contact on the last chorus. I had written that chorus a long time ago. While we were together actually, I’ll never forget the day I sang it for her…

”Hey John,” she said. We were lying in my bed and she had her head on my chest. We had been laying like that for a little over an hour. We just didn’t want to move.

“Yes love?” I asked.

“Yesterday you said you wrote some lyrics,” she said looking up at me. I could stare into her eyes for days.

“Yes I did, do you want to hear them?” I asked. She grinned and nodded. I got up and grabbed my notebook. I flipped it to the last page that I had written on. “I was trying to describe you… Not your looks or anything but just you,” I told her. She smiled softly and I looked back down at the lyrics on the page.

“She could be rainy days, minimum wage
A book that ends with no last page
Whoever she is, whoever she may be
One things for sure,
You don't have to worry.”

When I looked back to her she was staring at the page. I started getting nervous thinking that she didn’t like them. Then she looked up at me and she smiled and kissed me and I knew that she loved them.

I had already thanked the crowd and was coming down off the stage when I saw her leaving. I started pushing my way past the people crowding the backstage area. I finally got out and saw her heading towards the vans. I ran after her and finally caught up to her by the buses.

“Annie!” I yelled. She froze and turned around slowly. She turned to run away but I grabbed her elbow and pulled her into my chest. “Please don’t make me watch you leave again,” I told her quietly. I let go of her and she had a tear falling down her cheek. “Can we please go somewhere and talk, please?”

“Yea, I guess,” she replied softly. I took her hand and we started walking. I had no clue where we were going but I knew it was somewhere away from all these people. We ended up behind the vans and buses, on the opposite side of the lot as the stages and merch booths. “What do you want to talk about?”

“What happened last night?” I asked her. She looked at the ground and then sat down; I copied her actions and sat next to her.

“I don’t know, you didn’t say anything and I panicked,” she said quietly. She started playing with her fingers.

“I was surprised not mad or whatever, that was the last thing I expected you to say Annie,” I told her. I took her hands in both of mine. “If you said you still loved me, I would say that I still love you too. I would tell you that I never stopped and that I’ll never let go.” She looked up at me and her eyes reflected the surprise I felt last night. She opened her mouth and then closed it again. She took a deep breath and then tried again.

“Well, I do,” she replied. I smiled and we both started to lean towards each other. Our lips met and it was like she never left me. My arms found their way around her waist and her hands wound in my hair. It felt so familiar to have her in my arms. It felt so right to hold her and kiss her. This was the girl that I fell in love with only a few years earlier. This was the girl I had missed so much. Annie was my girl. She was the only girl for me.