This Little Game We Like To Play
Trece
“I hate you!” I scream at Jeff and throw a try of food.
“Quinn!” Jeff tried to calm me down.
“Get away from me!” throw a container full of forks in his general direction. I ate the apple. I ate the grapes. Couldn’t he just be happy? I don’t want the fucking banana. Other girls watched as I threw a tantrum.
“Assistance needed in the cafeteria.” Jeff mumbled into his radio.
“I hate it here!” I screamed as two of the guards carried me to my room. I screamed the whole time at girls I saw eating. They know I’m one to throw tantrums. That’s why they all sit at the opposite side of the cafeteria.
I go to sleep angry and wake up just fine.
“I heard you had a some progress yesterday.” Dr. Morris says in her dull voice.
“Yeah.”
“What did you eat?”
“An apple, some grapes.”
“Did Jeff ask you to eat something else?”
“Nope.” I lie.
“Quinn.” she gives me a knowing looking.
“Why do you ask me shit when you know the answer. You’re just wasting my time so you can get more money from my parents.” I snap at her.
“Do you want me to ask you some things I don’t know the answers to.”
“Obviously.” I say, ready to open up for the first time
“What influenced you to stop eating?” I thought a moment. Might as well give her the right answer. I can get out of here faster.
“Angel.”
“Is Angel your friend?”
“Not really.” I say thinking back to when he said we were friends.
“Did she show you how to purge?”
“No, no, no. Angel is a boy.” I say shaking my head. Dr. Morris is my favorite of the three doctors I see. If I have to talk about Angel I prefer telling her.
“How do you know Angel?” Dr. Morris asks scribbling things down on my file.
“My parent’s friend’s son.”
“Tell me some things about Angel.”
“Ugh, he’s got blonde hair. Brown eyes. Wears tight pants like, Nash.” I say referring to Dr. Morris’ son who often visited the eating disorder girls. I never spoke to him, he’s always got a crowd around him. “He’s a lot taller than me.”
“How did Angel influence you to stop eating?”
“I used to be fat, like really, really obese. I worked out a lot over the year, I only see him during the summer. I thought this summer was going to be different because I wasn’t fat anymore. I was normal. Angel still called me fat though, he made jokes about my weight all the time and I just wanted it to stop. So I stopped eating.”
“Does Angel know he caused your problems.”
“Yeah.” I say playing with a rainbow slinky.
“How did he react to when he found out?”
“He cried. He said he was sorry a million times. He tried to help me, he honestly did." I say sitting in the comfortable chair.
"Why didn't his help make you stop?" she asks.
"Because...I don't trust him." I say honestly.
“Quinn!” Jeff tried to calm me down.
“Get away from me!” throw a container full of forks in his general direction. I ate the apple. I ate the grapes. Couldn’t he just be happy? I don’t want the fucking banana. Other girls watched as I threw a tantrum.
“Assistance needed in the cafeteria.” Jeff mumbled into his radio.
“I hate it here!” I screamed as two of the guards carried me to my room. I screamed the whole time at girls I saw eating. They know I’m one to throw tantrums. That’s why they all sit at the opposite side of the cafeteria.
I go to sleep angry and wake up just fine.
“I heard you had a some progress yesterday.” Dr. Morris says in her dull voice.
“Yeah.”
“What did you eat?”
“An apple, some grapes.”
“Did Jeff ask you to eat something else?”
“Nope.” I lie.
“Quinn.” she gives me a knowing looking.
“Why do you ask me shit when you know the answer. You’re just wasting my time so you can get more money from my parents.” I snap at her.
“Do you want me to ask you some things I don’t know the answers to.”
“Obviously.” I say, ready to open up for the first time
“What influenced you to stop eating?” I thought a moment. Might as well give her the right answer. I can get out of here faster.
“Angel.”
“Is Angel your friend?”
“Not really.” I say thinking back to when he said we were friends.
“Did she show you how to purge?”
“No, no, no. Angel is a boy.” I say shaking my head. Dr. Morris is my favorite of the three doctors I see. If I have to talk about Angel I prefer telling her.
“How do you know Angel?” Dr. Morris asks scribbling things down on my file.
“My parent’s friend’s son.”
“Tell me some things about Angel.”
“Ugh, he’s got blonde hair. Brown eyes. Wears tight pants like, Nash.” I say referring to Dr. Morris’ son who often visited the eating disorder girls. I never spoke to him, he’s always got a crowd around him. “He’s a lot taller than me.”
“How did Angel influence you to stop eating?”
“I used to be fat, like really, really obese. I worked out a lot over the year, I only see him during the summer. I thought this summer was going to be different because I wasn’t fat anymore. I was normal. Angel still called me fat though, he made jokes about my weight all the time and I just wanted it to stop. So I stopped eating.”
“Does Angel know he caused your problems.”
“Yeah.” I say playing with a rainbow slinky.
“How did he react to when he found out?”
“He cried. He said he was sorry a million times. He tried to help me, he honestly did." I say sitting in the comfortable chair.
"Why didn't his help make you stop?" she asks.
"Because...I don't trust him." I say honestly.
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