This Little Game We Like To Play

“Quinn! Time to eat!” Anna yells from downstairs.

“Not hungry!” I yell back. I stand in front of the mirror ans stare at myself. Why can’t I be one of those people who are skinny without having to work out constantly? My stomach growls and pain gnaws at my insides.

I lay down on my bed and ignore the biting pain in my empty stomach by watching The Breakfast Club. I have always loved the way Bender made a jingle sort of noise when he walked. However the jingle Angel makes when he walks sickens me.

My door creaked open I turned my head slightly and looked at Angel’s body leaning against the door frame. “We’re going to the beach.” he tells me.

“Alright, bye.” I say not looking at him.

“Your mom said you have to come.” he says. Why? Why do I have to go? I’ve been perfectly content hiding from the world.

“Fine, get out.” I growl angrily and push him away while I slam the door. I find my hoodie and zip it up. I don’t want anyone to see my fat. I don’t even want the bald fat guy to see me.

Angel sits to my right in the sand. Our parents and our siblings are flying kites as the sun was setting. I feel exhausted and Angel is probably just too badass to fly kites. I keep drawing designs in the sand even though Angel continues to push sand over the design before I even finish. I don’t even care and that seems to bother him.

“What’s your problem?” he asks angrily. His golden brown eyes smoldering behind some of his blonde hair that the wind blew into his face.

“Nothing.” I say staring out across the water as reds, oranges, yellows, and pinks reflect on it. Why doesn’t he just leave me alone? There is a whole beach for him to roam and he sits next to me.

“You’re a bad liar.” he says getting up from his spot and walking toward his family. I’m not lying. Nothing is wrong. I’m fine. Everything is fine. Once I lose some weight, I’ll eat again.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?” mom asks me at the restaurant two weeks after Angel confronted me. I see dad, Charlotte, Adam, my sisters, even Dylan and Maggie looking at me. I might as well get something.

“Actually can I get this?” I ask the waitress pointing to a meal. She nods and writes down my order then walks away.

I eat the meal, it hurts. It physically hurts me to eat after so long without food. At the same time, it feels good. A little voice in the back of my head tells me that I can’t keep the food in my stomach. If I keep the food the thirteen pounds I lost will come back. I cannot wait to get home and rid myself of the food once I’ve finished my meal.

As soon as we get back to the house I run to the bathroom. I drop onto my knees and lean over the spotless white toilet. Do I really want to do this? Yes. It’s wrong. But it’ll make me skinny. I stick my finger down my throat. A burning sensation lines my throat and an awful taste lingers in my mouth as I flush the toilet.

I wash my hands. I brush my teeth. I wash my face. I feel better, the pain of an empty stomach is gone for now. All I feel right now is sick. I push the bathroom door open and met face to face with Angel. His tall and thin figure is leaning against the wall opposite of the bathroom door. His brown eyes watch me as I stand frozen in the doorway. I hope he doesn’t know what I did.

“It took you fucking long enough.” He grumbles and pushes past me and into the bathroom