You've Given Me Strength To Find Home

Bumps and the sounds of the bus lulled the family asleep as they traveled state to state. Every night seemed to be the same; Wake up, write, sing, travel. It drove Alex nuts, she wondered if she could handle this when she was going to be touring and singing with Demi in the summer.

"Allie?", a little voice said outside her bunk. Pulling back her curtain she was greeted with a teary eyed Raeanne. "Can I sleep with you? I had a bad dream?", Alex nodded picking her sister up and pulling her into her bunk without a word.

Running her fingers through her sisters hair before squeezing her little sisters hand three times. In response she got two squeezes. Both girls squeezed tight before smiling at each other and falling asleep.

Tears filled Alex's eyes as she looked down at her sisters sleeping form. She wondered constantly if she was being a good sister or not to her. Holding her sister tighter she fell asleep.
-------------------------------
Emmet was bobbing his head to music on his i-Pod as he hummed. His older sister smiled as he sang off key, but put his heart into it. As his eyes opened he became embarrassed. "What are you listening to?",she asked with a smile.

"This band called Skillet, they're a chri-a really cool band", he said with a smile. Turning to her brother she looked at him confused. "Then there's this band Switchfoot, and Flyleaf!", he continued.

Alex rubbed her head knowing those bands, they were christian bands. This isn't what I needed She sighed. "Emmet, you know those bands aren't big rock bands right...that they are singing more about G-"

"Yeah God! It's really cool actually. Al, I've been reading the bible and I've accepted Christ I ju-"

Alex's eyes filled with tears as she looked away. "Emmet there is no God! If there was he wouldn't have had anything happen to us!", she shouted earning looks from the front of the bus. She'd heard all this before, 'God is the way'.

It fell on deaf ears when it came to Alex. Her brother and sister were too young to remember, but there was a time when they went to church and were believers.

Flashback

'Jesus loves me this I know for the bible tells me so little ones to him belong', little Alex sang as she brushed her dolls hair. Her door broke open to show her mothers current lover.

"Hey Alexia, what are you doing pretty girl?", the burly man asked as he ran his fingers through her hair. She smiled up at him holding out a doll. "Want me to play too?", he smiled. She nodded and spun around to face him. He smiled bouncing the doll in his hand. Suddenly lights went out, mom hadn't payed the bill that month again. Alex quickly jumped into the mans arms feeling she could trust him. "Don't worry pretty girl, I'll protect you", he whispered.

His arms held her close, but began to roam over her body. "Please stop", Alex said pushing against the man. He held her closer fighting against her.

Her cries filled the house as he continued until the door opened with a drunk angry woman. "YOU TRAMP!", her mother shouted throwing the man off her. She continued to cry curling into a ball as she softly sang.

'Jesus lo-loves me th-thi-this I know, for the-' she was cut short as her mother picked her up and threw her on her bed. "THERE IS NO GOD! He wouldn't love you if there was one after everything you just did! SLUT!", her mother shouted.

Alex felt arms wrap around her smelling the familiar scent of Joe as she turned in his arms crying against his chest. He'd always wondered why she gave up on God, but never pushed her as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"God hates me for all that I've done. I've accepted it", she said against his chest as he held her tighter.

A tear fell from his eyes as his heart broke hearing her words. "He doesn't Alex, in time you'll see", he said softly. "He loves you most of all. He just wants you to love him back"
--------------------------------------------------

Standing in a long line Alex began to be nervous 'where am I?!' she thought looking around. Suddenly she was faced to face with a man and a VERY large book. Gulping a large amount of fear she knew who she was looking at.

"Alexia, welcome home", said the man as he caressed her cheek. Usually with such touches she'd pull back, but his hands felt comfortable. Smiling she slowly began to walk to the door, but was stopped by the hand. "-we must look at your sins, see if you are worthy to go my child", boomed the voice.

She backed up and saw the cover of the book as he opened it. 'ALEX'S SINS' was written across it.The book was big and thick, she thought it was a list of everyone getting into heaven, plus they're life stories. Tears ran down her face as she fell down on her knees. "I'm so sorry!", she cried.

He smiled lifting her chin. "My child you have no need to be sorry. By the blood of Jesus you are forgiven", he whispered as he picked at scars on his wrists. Blood poured over the book, slowly the blood made the book disappear. "Welcome home my child", said the voice softly as he took her hand and walked her to the door.

She heard music from the front of the bus, her eyes watered as she sat up and hopped out of her bunk getting her glasses. She smiled as she heard 'Amazing Grace' play in the front of the bus. As she walked to the front she sang softly with it.

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, AMAZING GRACE!

Everyone turned around as they worshiped and saw Alex singing tears streaming down her eyes. Joe walked over and held her as she was soon joined by Emmet, and Rae singing the song with her.

Tears filled the Jonas families eyes as they witnessed Alex becoming a christian again. Kevin smiled as he strummed on his guitar. 'Jesus loves me, this I know, for the bible tells me so-'

Singing sweetly everyone felt a light on the bus that day.