Forever Fades Away

I am just an ordinary girl. I am just a girl trying to get by in this monotonous life. I wake up, shower, get ready, and drive off to school. I return to a home full of uncertainty, full of anger, and disappointment. In addition, I do it all over again.

“Your home isn’t full of anger, is it?” Brian eyed my paper as I sat at the kitchen table doing my homework. He took a seat directly across from me. I don’t understand how so many people have successfully completed college. There are way too many distractions, and it does not help that I cannot write this bothersome paper.

“I know. I’m supposed to write whatever flows from my thoughts, put it all together in a tacky way, and then turn it into a metaphorical masterpiece.” I deliberately used the word masterpiece to quote my dull professor, “It’s for my creative writing class.”

“Need any help?” Brian asked. He was always the eager one.

“No. No, but thank you,” I said as I tried concentrating on my paper.

“Alright, I will be in the living room watching television, I guess.” He sat there for a second longer, contemplating something. There were some days that Brian could be so cute in a childish, teenage love-stricken way. Today was not one of those days. I looked up, eyed him suspiciously, and then took a deep sigh. Why can’t my melanin produce such nice pigments of colors such as his? It was a pity he was wearing so many articles of clothing right now…

“O.K. Gosh, yeah I am taking a break!” I pushed back my chair, and dropped my head back. It was so easy to get distracted. Brian had been patiently waiting at the table, quietly whistling, all while having a haughty look on his face.

“I knew you would give up,” he stated, still looking smug.

“What is that suppose to mean?” I asked, secretly hurt by his remark. He knew me too well.

“My presence captivates you, darling.” I wasn’t sure where he was going with this.

“Mae, I was kidding. You have been sitting here for the past hour and you are at the same spot.” He took my notebook away and started flipping through it.

“Well, maybe if your body did not construct such an equal amount of melanin, I wouldn’t need to stop and stare.” I stuck my tongue out at him. Silence soon followed; silence was soon followed by blinking eyes.

“Melanin huh?”

“Oh shut up, Brian.”

“No. So does this melanin involve the study of Anatomy? I can most definitely help you out with that!” Brian eyed me suspiciously.

“You were suppose to be in the living room watching television, love.” He had stated this quite a while ago.

“You, darling, are no fun.” He got up and left the kitchen. Seconds later, I heard the television turn on.

“Alright, let us get back to work, Mae,” I said to myself. That paper would have to get done. I nervously looked around the table then. I saw my pens off to the side. I saw countless books to the other. Mounds of loose-leaf paper sat in front of me. “Great,” I thought to myself. Where had I placed my notebook? I was using one, wasn’t I?

I shuffled more papers around. I lifted my dictionary thinking it would be underneath it, only to see nothing.

“Ok. Whatever, I’ll just do this after my brain isn‘t fried!” I yelled out to my inanimate objects around me. Plants do count as inanimate, don’t they? I stood up, pushed my chair back and went into the living room.

The television produced various colors, bouncing off all objects, except for two pairs of eyes. These two pairs did not blink. They did not twitch, all they did was consume mass images coming form the rectangular object of front of them. These images burn into our ever, evolving brain. The images of cartoons, flashy cars, and police chases consume us from within. We are the product of mass commercialization…

Wait, that was crap, I can’t write that for my paper! I thought to myself. We had been watching television for a while now, Brian and I. Brain laid across the sofa, bringing me along. I gently rubbed his chest, as I listened to his heart beat.

Each cardiac cycle or heartbeat starts with the SA node generating on electrical impulse that travels in a wavelike pattern across the cardiac muscle of the atria, causing them to contract. Oh who was I kidding? No one would care to read about the cardiac cycle. I took a deep sigh and let it out nice and slow.

“What’s wrong?” Brian asked. We had been quiet for a while. We were enjoying each other’s company, me in his arms, uninterrupted for once.

“Nothing. I was just listening to your heart.”

“Yeah?” he asked as he started to gently massage my neck. “I read some of your stories and poems. I needed to get inside that head of yours.” So it had been him that took it. All this time I thought I was losing my mind.

“Brian, you could have just asked to see them you know.” I looked up at him and caught him smiling at me. I didn’t deserve him. I was not beautiful by any ones standards. I didn’t live in Hollywood, nor was I famous. I was although, happy. Brian had been able to look past all my flaws and actually see me for a person.

I could get lost in his whirlpool of chocolate depths, and he knew it all too well.

“Babe, you back to earth now?”

He gently kissed my forehead. I placed my head back onto his chest.

“Yeah, I never left jerk. Did you like any of them?” I asked as I went back to listening to his heart. Lubb-dupp, lubb-dupp, lubb-dupp.

“There was one I noticed. The one about reading a person’s soul through their eyes. Their chocolate, brown eyes to be exact,” he quoted. I giggled.

“That one was horrible. It was my first day of class and the zombie professor gave us this lame assignment. That was the best I could come up with.”

“Well, I enjoyed it.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course you did Brian. It was about you, anything about yourself, you love.” He said nothing else.

Lubb-dupp, lubb-dupp, lupp-dupp. His heart was soothing, almost mesmerizing. I could easily fall asleep listening to it. Lubb-dupp, lubb-dupp, lubb----lubb.
It sounded as though I had heard Brian’s heart miss a beat. I continued listening. His heart was beating faster now. Maybe I missed it.

“Love, you ok?” I looked up at him. Blood had rushed his cheeks.

He laughed out loud, “Sorry, you just turn me on. Care to help me out with it?”

“I have tons of homework, and I should really get started on it,” His smile started to go away, “but you could help me with my anatomy.” Brian leaned in and kissed me passionately.

Homework would just have to wait.