Forever Fades Away

Brian held his guitar to the crowd as they went wild at the sight of him. The rest of the boys were received with yells and applause, but it didn't compare to Brian's welcome. Brian clearly loved the response.

They all waved and went to their respective positions on stage. The crowd never stopped showing their support. As Matt went up to his mic to kick off the start of the show, chants were starting to be heard.

“Syn-ys-ter! Syn-ys-ter! Sy-ys-ter!” Brian smiled, “Thanks for the support everyone, it really means a lot to us.” Brian looked over to his lead singer, waiting for him to start talking to the crowd, like he usually does.

I sat on the side of the stage, filming the crowd’s response to Brian. Matt suggested it so Brian could watch it at the hospital while he recovered. I thought it was a wonderful idea. I made sure to film some fans before the concert had started; they sent their wishes to Brian.

The music started and the cameras went straight into work overload. You could tell they didn’t want to focus too much on Brian, but they would go back to him each time.

The beginning to Almost Easy began. Zack stood next to Brian and gave him a small nudge with his guitar, Brian smiled. The chorus soon started and Zack went to the right side of the stage, left to the crowd.

“Mother,” both boys sang harmoniously. Brian was giving it his all.

Earlier in the week, everyone had finally heard Brian say how he truly felt about everything. No one said a word afterwards; they were too scared. Jimmy had been the one that first said something to him. He wanted him to play the show.

Matt didn’t understand why he should play it.

When you found out you needed surgery on your vocal chords, how did it make you feel?” Jimmy asked Matt.

“Pissed, scared, worried I’d never be able to sing, thus screwing you guys over…”

“Did it make you want to not give up though? No. You worked for it. How did you feel when you got back onto the stage again?” Matt looked down at his hands. He looked back up to Jimmy,

“Amazing.”

“If Brian feels like he won’t ever be the same, we should at least let him experience it for the last time. It’ll give him the will to not give up, speed up his recovery. He’ll be back on that stage before he knows it.”

“Jimmy’s right, Matt. It wouldn’t be fair to him. Let him have his fun,” I said. Zack had taken Brian upstairs to rest. “If we say it’s a bad idea, I think it’ll break him. He has this silly idea he won’t be the same afterwards though, and we think it could spiral into depression.” Matt shot me a hard look.

“Why don’t we record him playing? We could film family and friends wishing him good luck and get wells, even fans could do it,” Matt said.

“What would that do?” Jimmy asked.

“It could encourage him,” I said. Matt was brilliant.

“Right. He sees how much people care, without fucking pitying him and shit.”

“And he won’t feel as though he’s bringing you guys down,” it sounded crazy but it could work, I thought.

I reminisced on that day. I had recorded most of his friends throughout the last few days, even his family participated. We secretly passed the camcorder around behind Brian’s back and left messages of hope. I couldn’t tell you who recorded what, or what was said; they weren’t meant for me to see.

Brian continued to play each song with so much emotion. He was loving every part of it. His guitar solos were perfect; no sloppy work tonight.

The dueling guitars were in perfect harmony; Zack’s cherry red guitar next to Brian’s white Shrecter. Brian’s Afterlife solo came up and Zack gleamed with pride. He could call this man his best friend and no one could ever take that away.

I zoomed in on Brian and watched his fingers dance the fret board. They knew exactly what to do tonight. His face showed only determination with a slight, sheer mask of sweat building up. I glanced around the stage and saw the same look on all the boys’ faces.

Jimmy was smiling from ear to ear, Johnny’s eyes were lit up from pure emotion, and Matt stood in awe of his fellow band mate. They all truly admired him, and I was lucky enough to call him mine. Sure, he was only my boyfriend, but I loved him more than life itself. He was my other half, and without him I would be incomplete.

Brian walked to the other side of the stage and the crowd seemed to gravitate with him. Girls swooned whenever he smiled, and the boys admired his skills. Yes, tonight belonged to Brian.

“You fuckers having a good time?” Matt asked the crowd. “Fuck yeah. We love having home shows with you guys, you know how to have a good time.”

The Rev began the intro into their next song. Matt bellowed out his voice into the microphone, filling up the arena. Brian glanced over to my side and mouthed three little words to me; I love you.

The dueling began once again between Zack and Brian. The camera me flocked to them, and I recorded them as well. I noticed Zack quickly glance over to Brian. A look of concern now filled Zack’s face; I froze.

Brian waived him off and went to his side of the stage. I saw Johnny walk up to Brian, still playing of course, lean in and try to speak with him. I saw Brian mouth the words ‘I’m fine’. He was in pain and his face showed it.

“Mae?” Matt asked. I looked at him, “Could we still have a paramedic there? We won’t tell Brian, but I’d really feel better knowing there’s one there, in case something bad happens.”

“Yeah sure, I don’t see a problem with that,” I said.

The boys finished the song and Brian quickly ran backstage. I ran to him.

“What’s wrong?” I set the camera down.

“My chest hurts, really bad,” he opened a bottle of water and rank it fast. Matt was entertaining the crowd by talking to them.

“What do you want to do?” I wanted him to stop playing but this was his night.

“There’s only two songs left. I’ll just pop more pain killers.”

I placed my hands on his face, “Brian?” He looked into my eyes as though nothing was wrong.

“I’ll be fine, I promise I’ll be here back at your side in no time.” He took the bottle of pills and took out two tiny pills. He swallowed them down with water. He quickly kissed me and was back on the stage in no time.

I saw Zack look at me and I gave him a thumbs up. He adverted his attention back to the crowd. I silently prayed nothing would happen to Brian tonight.

I was too nervous to watch now. I walked away from the side and went backstage. I was Jason the roadie and asked him to say something to the camera again, for Brian.

“There’s many, many things I am extremely envious dude. You rock at guitar, which I’m pretty sure you know that already, but you got the coolest friends in the world. I know if it had been me, none of you assholes would do this for me,” he laughed and continued, “but I know you know that already. Also, I just though of this; we should go hunting soon. Bag us some big ass deer and shit. Think of the guns we could use!” I turned off the camera.

“Don’t give him any ideas,” I said.

“You can come too. You could be like Palin and put on the bikini with the shot gun.” I rolled my eyes. I walked back to the side of the stage. They were just about finishing up. The camera crew shut off, and Brian spoke into the microphone.

“Thank you so much everyone,” he paused to catch his breath. He was really struggling, “It means so much to me know you guys care,” pause, “Avenged wouldn’t be here,” he paused again, “And I wouldn’t be here either.” Brian placed his hand over his chest.

“Everything happens for a reason, always remember that.”

Brain waived and took a quick bow. He immediately ran off the stage and into my arms. He was breathing hard and sweat poured off his face.

“I need,” he paused. The rest of the boys ran over to us.

“Brian?” Zack asked.

“What is it, Brian” I asked him. I didn’t like where this was going. I pulled his face up and fear overtook my body. Brian’s face was pale.

“Go get the paramedic!” I yelled out to anyone. Johnny took off running.

I looked at Brian again, “Brian, tell us how you fell.” He collapsed in my arms. Both he and I went down.

“No!” Zack yelled. He tried reaching for us but Brian was dead weight and I couldn’t support him.

Everyone crowded around us. Everything seemed to run in slow motion. We laid Brian flat on the ground backstage. I held onto his hand as Jimmy held his feet off the ground, to get circulation going through his body.

No one said a word. No one moved. We saw the paramedic run into the room with Johnny. He called for back up as Zack moved form his side next to Brian. Seconds later, two more paramedics ran in.

They immediately started working on Brian. I was asked questions but I couldn’t answer them. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. My eyes were glued to Brian.

Zack pulled me away somehow as they lifted Brain onto the gurney. He was rushed to the ambulance, with Jimmy riding along. We all followed the ambulance drive away with Brian and Jimmy. Zack held me in his arms. I was frozen.

“Don’t blame yourself Mae,” Zack said. I kept staring out onto the street. “Mae?” I didn’t answer.

Zack stepped in front of me and held me close.

“Brian should be holding me right now, not you.” I said coldly. My arms hung loosely at my sides. I couldn’t find comfort in Zack. Zack pulled away. He placed a hand on my face to wipe away a single tear.

I looked up to him. His eyes were rimmed in red. I looked around me and saw everyone else crying as well. I lost it at that point and held on to Zack for dear life.

And the light grows faint

As forever fades away