Forever Fades Away

I held the small camcorder to the best of my ability. It was small and light weight but because of my condition, it felt as though it weighed a ton. I had tried to wipe the tears away before Mae and Zack came in. I know Mae would lose it all too soon and she hated to cry. Too bad I made her cry too many times.

I saw a head peak around the curtain, it was Zack.

“Hey buddy. You’re still alive?” he asked jokingly, “Your dad said you guys watched some of the clips.”

“Yeah, we stopped after you finished though,” I said. Zack came into the room now and pulled along Mae.

I immediately smelled the flowery perfume she always wore, and it made my heart skip a beat, figuratively that is.

“Did you enjoy the video?” Mae asked. She quietly walked over to the side of the bed. Zack came over to the other side.

“Yeah, it was awesome thanks guys. Where is everyone else?”

“They’ll all come in eventually. They’re all in the waiting room,” Zack said. He took the camcorder out of my hands and started playing with it.

“I didn’t finish watching it yet,” I said.

“Why not?” Mae asked.

“I wanted to finish watching it with you two. I saw Zack’s but I didn’t see yours yet.” I looked over to Mae and she smiled.

“Let’s play the rest then.”
Zack leaned in and hit the play button. I saw the three of them on the screen again, Mae, Zack, and my dad.

“I wish I could go on about certain things, but I won’t ruin it for you,” Zack said.

I heard a voice from off screen next, “Alright Mae, you’re next.”[I/] It was Matt’s voice.

Mae smiled at the camera and took a deep breath in. She looked nervous.

“Well, gosh I don’t even know where to start. I’m the luckiest girl in the world, and I would never trade it in for anything. I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times already Brian, but you’re an amazing guy. You make me smile.” Zack and my dad laughed and Mae blushed. “ I hope I didn’t drive you too crazy with my constant worry. I should have known you were smarter than what you let on sometimes.” I rolled my eyes. Mae and Zack laughed at my reaction.

“Just know that I’ll always love you, no matter what. You keep me going and without you, I don’t know where I’d be.”

I saw my dad and he said his wishes next. I’ve never seen the old man choke up so many times, all in one day. Zack shut the camera off and placed it off to the side. Had this been last week, I would have felt an anxiety attack coming on. I didn’t feel anything anymore, I felt calm.

I sighed and looked up at the ceiling, “I’m just glad this is over now. I just want to go home and lay out in the backyard and not do shit for the rest of the summer.”

“Just a couple more days here in the hospital, baby.” Mae rubbed my hand.

“Yeah, just think of all the cold brew ski’s we can drink out in the sun, with our shades on, and the dogs running around,” Zack said.

“I wouldn’t mind laying out there with some cold ones.”

“You two aren’t helping me here.” I looked at both Mae and Zack and laughed.

Only a couple more days and I’d be out of this hell hole.

_____________________________

I’ve never felt happier being at home. I missed the clean, soft sheets of my bed. I missed my dog more than ever. I missed sleeping in until One PM. I missed it all. The California sun was just calling out my name and I made sure to sit outside as much as possible the two weeks since I had my replacement.

I sat outside with the boys, minus Johnny, in my backyard. I had invited them over to grill and drink. We got rid of the girls by giving them our credit cards. You could say it was a mistake, but we all wanted some time with the boys alone.

“So you found a ring?” Matt asked. He was laying on a chair with a beer in hand. He looked relaxed for once.

“Yeah, that place you told me about had some really nice ones. I got it though.” I took a sip of my beer.

Jimmy lifted his sunglasses up off his head, “So you’re going through with it?” He asked. He was sitting next to me on the deck.

“Fuck yeah. I wasn’t lying when I told Zack. You guys didn’t say anything did you?” I looked around the group. They all nodded.

I leaned further back into my chair. I wanted to ask Mae right, but I had no idea. I mentally ran ideas in my head while the rest of the group talked about random things. I paid no attention to them.

I guess I better start planning.