Forever Fades Away

The trunk is full of his belongings I had decided to keep. A few of his friends kept random belongings of his as well. One of the guys took a beer mug Brian always used to drink out of.

I didn’t want to keep much. I knew if I did, I would never be able to let go. Everyone encouraged me though.

I kept random shirts of his. I kept one of his fedoras that I absolutely loved. Jewelry and watches he wore went into a shoe box.

I kept dozens of pictures of him as well. I had originally placed them all over my small apartment but as the months and years went by, more and more were taken down.

It wasn’t that I didn’t love him, I just needed to let go.

In place of those pictures, new ones were put up.

Those pictures contained a new woman. She was a bit rounder, more curvier as one would say. Her hair was shorter and dyed a different color. She wore a ring on a chain necklace around her neck.

Almost everything about her was different but her smile remained the same.

I looked at a picture hanging on our refrigerator door each morning. It showed the new woman I was with a green-eyed man standing next to her. It brought a smile each and every time although there were days a tear escaped.

This was one of those days.

Tears wanted to pour out this morning. It wasn’t because I was devastated or because I was alone in this world; I was just sad.

I felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around my waist.

“You okay?” the deep, sensual voice asked. I stared at a different picture on our refrigerator. It was of two men standing arm in arm. Both had large grins on their faces. I couldn’t remember when that picture was taken. I’m sure if you ask one of them, they would know.

“Yeah, just reminiscing,” I said.

He gently kissed my ear, “I still think about him everyday too,” he said. “I know he’s looking down at us and is extremely proud,” he cooed.

I smiled and caressed his arms.

I turned around and faced him this time. His eyes showed the same warmth as always. They never lied to me, and they always showed the way.

I never expected to fall for them, though. It was a little to easy for me, to be honest.

His hand went down to my waist and claimed its usual spot. His other arm pulled my hand away from his neck. He gently grabbed it and started to sway. He occasionally played with the brand new ring on my left hand.

I placed my head onto his chest and his lips rested on the top of my head.

I never felt guilty moving on. I really wanted to because I felt it wasn’t fair. I initially thought I’d be forgetting Brian, but those feelings never came. I felt like a horrible person.

But it felt so good. I felt alive again. He made me feel alive and I know Brian would want me to live my life as normal as possible.

I wish I could say life went back to normal after his death. It never did. Avenged never replaced Brian and everyone respected their decision. Sure, some members continued to be actively involved in the music industry, but they knew it was never the same.

Marriages came and went, children were born, and life went on.

So when I found myself falling in love, it was a celebration.

I initially told Val I found someone I really clicked with. Her emotions were sky high at the time, so she cried. She was extremely happy.

I never said who it was though, I felt scared. I didn’t know if they would approve or not.

When they did find out about my newfound relationship, it was applauded, well received, and tears flowed from all the girls’ eyes.

Leana even made the comment, “It’s about time you two get together.”

We both smiled at each other.

The dancing stopped and Zack pulled away. He looked down into my eyes and smiled. His hand came up to my chin. He tilted it up a bit and kissed my lips.

An electric current shot though my body.

Our soft kiss was simple yet powerful. I pulled away and looked up at him again. I felt my cheeks were blushing a deep, crimson red.

“You know I love you, right?” Zack asked.

“Of course I do,” I said. “I have some good news for you.”

“Like what?”

“Let’s just say we’re going to have to buy a bigger house within these next nine months.”

This was love and no one would ever take this away from me. My forever wasn't going to fade away this time. It's fire was burning bright, like a fire in the night.