You're a Dead Fit

"I'm a slut, and yeah," I muttered to myself. "I hope you like sluts."

It was about ten minutes of walking and I realized how much I missed being beside Ashlee. Not seeing the rest of her was getting the best of me. And no, I don't mean that. Not entirely that. Damn it, why do I only remind people of just one thing? Is it really that obvious? Okay, maybe it is but girl, did you have to be so mean?

No one called me a slut before. In the face. Ow. She surely knows how to hit me and hit me hard. Ow.

Sure, I took the manwhore comments really easily when girls tease me but Ashlee threw it on me like a pile of bricks. The weird thing is, I'm more determined to prove her wrong. Tell me, am I right? I know she likes me. She totally digs me. (Who wouldn't?) It's just that she wants more than just sex. Right? Right. (Right.)

I groaned out loud in the middle of the street at my frustration, but was glad when my hotel came into view. As I was approaching, my phone vibrated, and it played a tune that was different from what my ringtone was. No, that wasn't Weck Mich Auf. It wasn't Samy Deluxe saying 'Yeah, yeah, yeah' like he was supposed to. And of course, I still had Ashlee's phone. It was playing some song I did not recognize.

I took it out and realized it was a message. I opened it but it was a blank one from my number. Why would Ashlee send me an empty message? I stared at the white screen for a while as I started up the welcome steps. The doorman greeted me and a few fans followed me in. I didn't take a second look at them. I know they wanted to get lucky with me but no thank you. I'm already lucky enough. I just blew it somehow.

The security prevented the girls from following me up because I requested them to. Tom Kaulitz wasn't letting girls get some tonight. Not now, not soon. I don't know. It's just so depressing to have someone tell you you're such a whore. I laughed to myself. Scoffed. Simpered at myself in the reflection through the mirror in the lift up.

I look disgusting.

I really do.

"Tom, you suck," I said. I hardly spoke to myself. I let my mind wander, but never have I voiced out. I loved myself, I really do. But it's so strange, it's something new. Amazing feelings that I have for that chica. I have no ways of comprehending that. It's almost foreign to me.

There she was in a car beside mine. I stalked her. Bought her a drink. Met her during and after the show. And now we're separate from each other. We weren't even together to start with.

What's wrong with me? She's bewitched me, I tell you. I rolled my eyes at myself. And hell, why does it take years to get up to the thirtieth floor?

And then the phone played a tune again. It was a message from Ashlee's friend. Should I read it? Should I not? Ah, hell. This was technically my phone now. Wait, shit. I do have to return it to her. I need my phone back.

Tom Kaulitz, you take forever to realize the simplest things.

So that was why she alerted me. She sent me a blank message just to let me know I still had her phone. She didn't want to talk to me so... Damn. I'm a real blond.

I reached my floor and stayed at the lift lobby there. Stupid posh portraits were staring back at me like I was owing them or something. The phone was ringing in my ear as I dialed my number in Ashlee's phone.

"Hello," the voice said. That sweet voice. Have I ever been more cheesy, seriously?

"Hallo," I said. And then I cleared my throat. "So, um... phone?"

Stupid, stupid. You can definitely do more than just that, can't you?

"I know," Ashlee gave a soft sigh. I could tell there was a little smile in her voice for some reason. "Just so you know."

"I want it back," I said firmly. I was going to tease her. Show her I was mad and stuff and a huge ass. And then... and then I don't know. Let's just see what comes up in my brilliant mind.

Ashlee's voice turned from smiley to a sort of frown. "I know, and so do I," she said.

"Then tomorrow morning," I said. "Don't answer my calls or read my messages unless they're from me, obviously." I smirked to myself as my voice maintained its seriousness.

"Look, Tom. I'm really sorry," Ashlee said. "You're a cool person, but I don't think you'd have that much fun with me. It was nice having to hang out with you so far."

There was a moment of pause like she was waiting for a response from me but I merely shifted from one leg to another in silence. Stupid paintings got my attention.

"Tom?"

"Yeah," I said indifferently.

"Fine, tomorrow," she said before hanging up on me. Sweet anticipation is giving the butterflies.

I chuckled lightly and returned to my room. I thought about why I hated Ashlee, and then weighed it against the reasons I loved her. She's nice, cool, fun... and she's gorgeous. I doubt we'd ever be able to keep our hands of each other once the sex starts... when we get together.

I'm totally able to commit, but I want to keep toned. I don't work out and if you're asking where I got these washboard abs from, it's all the sex, baby. Can't you picture it? The more flexible the girl is, the more challenging it gets for me. So hey, I do exercise on an almost-daily basis. Heh.

Well, not today though. I've just met someone new and I have a great urge to get off right now. I closed my eyes when I'm alone in that big room. Bill's next door, but I bet he's already long dead to the world. Quietly, I wondered what it would d be like to make her moan. If only I can make her give it up and stop pretending.

Spread your arms and legs across the bed. And when you shake, you won't regret the things I whispered in your ear. Like... 'I wanna give you something better than anything you've ever had.'

A stronger and a faster lover. A world that disappears so fast. Sweet, sweet kiwi.

Like it? Oh, who was I kidding. I'm all awake in my room thinking of Ashlee at a rate that is truly alarming. In my little cluttered head, I pretend that she wants me. I touch myself like it's somebody else. I didn't do much. I just... touched. Nothing more, nothing less. I didn't really jerk off. And then I get really tired. I overworked my brain thinking too much. It imploded.

That night, that morning, I had pleasant dreams. Of course, I was love-hating, hate-loving Ashlees and I wrestled with her in my dreams. Lo and behold, Tom Kaulitz wakes up making love to a pillow.

I should die in a fire, shouldn't I? If I tell anyone this, I could just melt. Into a puddle of embarrassment. My pillow. It's stained! I had no idea how my boxers got off. I merely removed my shirt, as far as I remembered.

I fell onto my pathetic erection, onto the bed. My face was buried into another pillow. A clean one, mind you. I was butt-ass naked and my hair was all over me like Medusa's little thingies around her and I honestly felt like a Greek God for some reason. Then I remembered.

I looked over at the digital alarm clock beside me - 11:39.

"Scheiße!" I groaned before jumping up as he started to soften. I kicked the dirty pillow away and scrambled around messily for the phone as I was still butt-ass naked.

Great, two new messages from Ashlee and four missed calls from her. It's noon when I finally cleaned up and left the room. Was our little morning meet-up still valid?

On my way down, I saw David and asked him about the car we rented.

"Oh, Georg and Gustav took it," he said simply before stuffing his face with a bagel burger from Burger King. I eyed it ferociously. My hunger was getting me all worked up but I was going to have my breakfast with Ashlee, no questions. No. Lunch.

"Fuck," I mumbled. And I nodded and walked past him.

"Oi!" David called after me. "Be back here at the lobby at five!"

Five? Right. What did we have again? Interviews, photo shoots, shows, radio station drop-ins? What? Who cares. I picked up my phone as I signed a couple of things on my way out.

Ashlee finally picked up the phone. "Hello," she said. A little bit of annoyance was in her voice.

I gulped. "Hey," I said as I looked around, trying to hail for a cab. "I'm so, so sorry. I just woke up. Where are you?"

She must have been surprised I was even apologizing. "I'm, uh..." And then a car drove past me. I blinked. "That's you, right?"

I ended the call when I saw Ashlee staring straight back at me as she turned to the entrance of the hotel just to pick me up. I opened the door and the fans tried to rape me. If only they had seen me butt-ass naked. Hahaha.

"Just drive," I said to her. "Go!"

Ashlee was obedient, and she started speeding off. Me, Tom Kaulitz, speeding off in a random car with a random hot chick at the wheel calling the shots? Uh oh.

When I turned to look at her, I flushed. No. My face, you idiot. Not my pants. I was fine. It was just that seeing her up close again made me a bit nervous. Not much horny, but whatever. It was nice to see she wasn't going to bite at me... was she?

"Why did you come in?" she asked. "You could have just swapped the phones."

I paused, trying to think up a smart answer but I failed. I gave a sigh. How can this lady be so smart? I need to get to know her, I really do.

"Because you still hate me and I want to annoy you by annoying you," I said. Wait, what?

Ashlee stopped at the traffic light and turned to look at me. "What?" she frowned, half-laughing.

"I'm not a slut," I said. "The girls who sleep with me randomly are the sluts. I'm not one."

Ashlee got a bit more solemn. "I know," she said. "I didn't mean it to come out that way. I got a little... carried away."

I gave a little smirk before returning poker-faced. "It was very hurtful," I admitted.

Ashlee frowned, embarrassed. "I'm so sorry." Her eyes were kept on the road sternly, and I noticed when she parked by a car lot outside Wal-Mart. I've never been in one of those things before, and I heard it's amazing. As Bill put it.

And then she looked at me. She looked so delicate. At times, she's like a sex kitten but now, she's just a demure innocent girl. I like.

"Here," I said to her. My face was humorless, intentionally, as I passed her her phone. And she automatically passed me mine. I gazed at her sad peepers. Hell, no way I was going to watch her get sad. "Hey," I said.

"That's all," she said. "There's a taxi stand there." And she pointed to across the street. "And a bus stop, too. Do you need quarters?"

Do I look like I was going anywhere? Seriously. I sighed and rubbed my face and then turned to Ashlee. "It's weird, you know?" I said, before continuing. "I always sleep with the girls and then think about them the next morning if they're worth keeping the number. It never happened to me. I never got luckier with anyone of them. They're all basically... gone. But you," I paused and looked at her. She was staring straight at me. "I hardly know you. We've never slept. You've got everything my perfect girl needs; honestly you have a great body, a great mind, a great personality which I have yet to learn more about because it's only been one day, and I really wish we can start it over."

Ashlee's expression transcended from confusion to a little spread of blush over her slightly tanned cheeks. "I'll tell you a secret first," she said. "Actually, I've got two."

I smiled. "What?"

"I read your messages," she said as she turned off the car engine. "You didn't say I couldn't. I mean, the ones that you didn't delete. I left the new ones unopened."

"You're sneaky," I smirked.

"You're amazing, Tom," she said. My heart fluttered. "You've got a wild imagination."

Damn, must be those phone sex messages with this girl whose face I've even forgotten.

"And you've got wild hands," I licked my lips inwards and bit on my lip ring coyly. The game was getting back on. The more I waited for her, the more worth it it will be, right? Yeah. Totally. She's tattooed on my mind, I swear.

Ashlee looked a bit awkward. "The second secret is..." And she stopped. She looked... pretty uneasy. It was like it was something drastic.

"You don't have to tell me," I said. "Well, I mean if it's a secret and all, you know?" I was still curious. Ashlee, please tell me. I'll keep your dirty little secret.

"I..." Ashlee looked at me. "I'm a virgin." She gave a smile as I took a little gasp. "I mean, I know a lot about sex and stuff, but I've never been... penetrated before and- Yeah." She blushed and frowned.

It was a soundless gasp I gave her. No, I wasn't appalled. I was pretty much shocked. How could she be one? She's too... lovely to be untouched! Or more so, she was untouchable. Perfectly untouchable. I like it. A lot.

"Really?" I said, stifling a laugh. "I mean, wow." Should I tell her what I really thought? Okay. Let it go before she gets any more misunderstanding. "You're just too-"

"That's why I didn't want to lead you on and stuff, and disappoint you when I'm a virgin. I don't want to just lose it like that, you know? Be your one-time fling and that's it," she admitted. Aw, baby. Okay. "I mean as far as I know you, your mind's only on one thing."

Great. Sex.

Not great sex but sex.

Sex, sex, sex.

I gave a soft sigh and leaned my head on the dashboard in front for two seconds before sitting up straight again. "I can prove to you I'm more than just that," I said, shrugging. She must definitely be afraid I want her virginity. Just because she's tight and stuff. Yes? No. I want to know her. Go out with her. Whatever with her. "Sex comes later, but I'll never force it on you," I responded. Hey, I still have hands! And about those abs, I guess I'll hit the gym with Georg more.

"I don't know," Ashlee said. She was sure skeptical of me, and I can understand why. "You're not even going to be here anymore, anyway. You're leaving, aren't you?"

I slapped my forehead. Why was she living in America? "Yeah," I said, facing her again. "But I'm all on for a long-distance," I nodded. "It'll be fun." I hope it would.

"Are you serious?" Ashlee asked me, her tone a bit softer. She was unsure, and so was I but it was a while since I tried a relationship. And they said America was the land of opportunities?

I eyed her chest which was conservatively hidden behind her half-zipped hoody. My eyes quickly shot back up to her brown pair. She was very casual today. Very casual but she was still special-looking. She was just special. Is this what God calls a Once In A Lifetime?

"Very," I said, offering her an assuring look.

"I tease a lot and go really far, so I'll apologize in advance when you don't get what you want in the end. I basically left my ex-boyfriend really frustrated," she said. Can I say, I felt a tingling in my pants. Shit, shit, shit.

I nodded. She's too cute. "He's a dick, so he wouldn't get in you anyway," I said. And I earned myself a spontaneous laugh from the girl.

"And if you'd like to know, I've never broken my barrier before but I have had my own fun," she smirked subtly before turning the car engine back on. I raised my eyebrow slightly.

That was the Ashlee I knew. The one who wasn't afraid. The one who was spontaneous. The one who knows just what to say. The one who caught me off guard. The one who caught me red-handed. The one who made me crave a relationship for some reason. "And that's what hands are for," I replied, biting my lower lip and giving her my sexy, sleazy look while my eyebrows did a little dance. I offered her a hand to take to just, you know, hold. Because I thought it was probably a random and sweet thing to do.

Ashlee took it but she crawled over me and sat on my lap, knees on either side of my thighs. My heart was pulsating like rapid bubbles from the bottom of a boiling pot of water as soon as she kissed me and kissed me hard, hands on either side of my face as she mercilessly ravaged me. I loved her.

It was getting hot, and I really needed to just taste her. I wanted to take her home, run my fingers through her hair, trail kisses down her back and let her scratch me with her nails... Lipstick smeared all over our faces. Her juice dripping down my chin and she would just shoot me down with her sexy stares.

I am officially brain dead.

Ow, she was grinding down on me right now. Ow, oh God. W-ow. Oh, Ashlee.

We would be dripping everywhere doing whatever as long as it didn't involve my dick in her.

Not just yet. ;)