Broken Angel

Erin walked into Declan's room after speaking to the doctor and smiled when she saw him sitting up in bed watching Sesame Street.

"Hey buddy. You're awake!"

"Hi Mommy," her six year old said distractedly and Erin laughed. When Grover was on the screen he was worse then a housewife and her soap operas about being disturbed. Erin took a seat next to the bed and pulled out her book content to sit and relax and wait until Sesame Street was over just like the two were at home. Fifteen minutes later she heard the TV turn off and looked up to see Declan snuggling back down with his Pooh Bear.

"How was your show?" Erin asked him smiling.

"Good," the six year old mumbled around his thumb.

"Declan, thumb," Erin reminded him and watched as the digit popped out of his mouth and got tucked under the blanket. Erin scooted closer to the bed and laid her head down on it stroking her son's hair. "Tired baby?"

"MMm-hmm, I wanna go home," he whispered. "I don't like it here."

"I know baby. I want you to come home too, but you need to stay while the doctor's work on getting you better. They can only give you your medicine here."

"I don't like the medicine, it makes my tummy sick."

Erin sighed and forced herself to keep calm and collected while she was with the baby. When Katie came by later so Erin could get some sleep and a shower she could breakdown, until then everything was fine.

"I know Declan. But you need it," Erin told him. "Guess what!"

"What?"

"Nanny and Grandpa are going to be here next week. Grandpa is staying for a whole week and Nanny is gonna stay for as long as we need her too. Isn't that exciting?"

Declan yawned and nodded his response.

"You want to sleep baby?"

When Declan nodded instead of speaking Erin knew he was wiped out. She sat there with her head lying on the bed stroking his hair for almost an hour until Katie walked in and smiled sadly.

"Hey," Katie whispered and Erin looked up from where she had been staring at Declan.

"Hey, you're here."

"Yea, that's the general idea. Go home, shower, get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

"Yea, I'll be back around six," Erin said after glancing at her watch and seeing it was five in the afternoon. "He'll probably just sleep for the rest of the night. Thanks for staying the night tonight."

"I know Erin, now go. Call Taylor."

Erin waved as she left the hospital room and headed for the elevator to the lobby. She had things to do at home.

After a short subway ride to her apartment Erin immediately stripped and jumped in the shower to wash two days worth of hospital grime off her body. Wrapping a towel around her hair and body when she was done Erin stepped out of the bathroom and walked into her bedroom to put on clean yoga pants and a t-shirt.

Once she was dressed and her hair had been pulled back into a braid Erin sat on her living room couch with her phone book open in front of her to the H section. She had a series of phone numbers in front of her that she needed to call and she couldn't get her fingers to dial any of them. Randomly selecting one by punching a finger into the middle of the page Erin groaned when she saw that her finger had landed on "Taylor Hanson" himself.

"Fate really fucking hates me doesn't it?" she asked the ceiling above her head.

Just as Erin was about to dial the number she had for Taylor her cell phone rang. Putting down the apartment phone she picked up the cell and answered, "Hello?"

"Erin?"

"Yes."

"Hey its Marcus," Erin winced when she realized her boss was on the other end of the line.

"Hey Marcus. Did you get the files I sent you?"

"I did. Great job on them. I wanted to let you know that you don't have to do this right now. You've got plenty of vacation time saved up from the last three years."

"Yea, but you said I could work from home and I don't know how sick he's going to get so I'd like to at least be sort of on the clock, so to speak, until I absolutely need to," Erin explained.

Since graduation Erin had been working for an advertising firm in their editing department. She basically took the mock-ups and photos for the ads and put the art together.

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, I can take my laptop to the hospital and get plenty of work done in the lounges and cafeteria while Declan's sleeping. I'd prefer it this way for now Marcus, as long as you're ok with it?"

"Yea. I'm totally fine with it. The stuff you've sent me has been as good as ever. Just try and stop in when you can every once in a while. And if possible, we have an editorial meeting next week on Wednesday that I'd like you to attend. It's at three p.m."

"I'm sure Katie can stay with Declan for a few hours while I run in for the meeting. So I'll see you then," Erin replied.

"Thanks Erin. You're the best. One more thing, I got a call from my friend over at Spin. They want you to shoot something for them, I told them I'd ask but," Marcus let the sentence hang.

"Yea. I'd love to, but right now any of my freelance photography is kind of off the table."

"I figured, but I wasn't going to just turn it down."

"Let them know that I am interested and as soon as everything calms down I'd love to sit and talk about doing something," Erin reinforced so that she wouldn't lose a potential account entirely.

"Erin, don't worry about it. Get some rest."

"Thanks Marcus. I'll see you next week. Just email me anything you need done," Erin finished her thought and hung up the phone. She tossed her cell phone on the couch next to her again and picked up the phone book one more time. Taking a deep breath she dialed the number she had for Taylor and listened to it ring three times before an automated voice picked up.

"The number you have dialed is no longer in service. The new number for this party is unlisted and private."

"Shit," Erin hissed. She quickly dialed the cell numbers she had for both Isaac and Zac and frowned when she received the same message. "I didn't hear anything about their cell phones getting leaked."

Erin looked at the rest of her options to call. She didn't want to call Avery or Jessica if at all possible. Erin still subconsciously thought of Avery as a twelve year old little girl and she didn't think Jessica would just give out her brother's number. Even if it was to Erin. And explaining the situation to anyone other then Taylor was out of the question as far as Erin was concerned. That left Walker, Diana or the house number.

Walker's cell phone gave Erin the same automated message.

"Really?!"

Diana's cell phone went to voice mail and Erin hung up without leaving a message.

"Well, at least I know they're all still alive," she muttered trying to think of what kind of message she should leave. "Hi Diana? It's Erin..Davis. Yea, long time I know, hey can you possibly give me the number of my ex boyfriend, ya know, your married son. Oh yea that'll go over well."

Finally deciding to throw caution to the wind Erin dialed the house number and let it ring. Just as she was about to hang up on the tenth ring or so a small voice she didn't recognize answered, "Hello?"

Erin froze and finally choked out, "Hi. Is your Mom or Dad home?"

"Yes. Who's this?"

Erin thought for a second and then replied, "Are your Mom and Dad Diana and Walker?"

"Yes."

"Oh good, ok. My name is Erin Davis and I'm an old friend. Can you tell them I'm on the phone and that it's important please?" As she was speaking a thought occurred to Erin, "Is this Zoe?"

"Yea! I'll go get Mom," the eleven year old replied and Erin heard the phone hit the floor. Rolling her eyes she waited for a few minutes before she heard a voice she didn't expect she'd hear again.

"Erin? Honey?"

"Diana, hey," Erin said softly. "Surprise!"

Diana Hanson laughed at the reply, "How are you sweetie?"

"Oh..I'm pretty good. Working in New York for an ad agency."

"And your photography?"

"Freelance. Mostly live concerts that kinda stuff," Erin replied.

"Really? Oh we'll have to get you to shoot the boys next New York show then," Diana told the younger girl. "So...now that the pleasantries are out of the way and not that this isn't a wonderful surprise. But what's up Erin?"

Erin took a deep breath and exhaled before speaking, "I really need to talk to Tay and apparently the numbers I have for the boys have all been changed."

"Yea...they did that about a year ago. Some girl got their numbers."

"Oh," Erin said glad to see they didn't change them after the break up. "So...is that possible for me to get his number?"

"I don't know Erin."

Erin felt a creeping panic in her chest. This was the only way she'd be able to get the number. It's not like Taylor Hanson was listed.

"Diana, I really really need to speak with him," Erin tried to avoid pleading but she was reaching that point. Her ex's mother had never disliked her, but she was also very protective of her sons and it had taken Erin a long time to be accepted by the family. She had hoped she still had at least the respect since Taylor was the one who broke up with her.

"What for?" Diana finally asked and then added, "Erin, it's not you. It's just Taylor's got enough problems with that wife of his without his ex-girlfriend calling."

Erin relaxed slightly, but only slightly, "It's kind of personal Diana. I'd tell you but, well I need to tell Taylor first. Please?"

There was silence on the other end of the line and Erin waited for an answer and frantically grabbed a pen when the answer she received was a series of numbers.

"Thank you so much Diana," Erin whispered. "You have no idea how important this is."

"Hopefully you'll tell me soon. Don't disappear again Erin, I always liked you."

Erin smiled softly, "I won't."

Erin hung up the phone and thought about what she had just promised and it was the truth. Because if she knew Taylor this next conversation was going to go one of two ways. He was either going to hang up on her and never speak to her again, again, or he was going to freak out and be on the next plane to New York, with the rest of the Hanson clan not far behind.

"Ok Davis. Just pick up the phone and dial," Erin said to herself twenty minutes later. She hadn't been able to work up the courage to call him and it was now almost eight at night. "Alright. Do it."

Erin picked up the phone and dialed the ten numbers Diana had given her and waited as the phone rang. After about four rings she heard his voice and hung up.

"Shit. Stupid. Moron. Fuck. Alright," Erin quickly hit redial and this time Taylor answered immediately.

"Hello?"

"Hi Tay," Erin said quietly.

"Erin!?"

"Yea, it's me, how'd you know that?" she asked confused.

"How'd I know that? Oh I don't know. How'd I recognize your voice," he replied sarcastically and Erin began relaxing as she felt almost like it hadn't been seven years since she spoke to him last. "This is a surprise. Is everything ok? Your parents? Katie? Mike?"

"Yea. Yea, they're all fine. I just needed to talk to you about something. Where are you right now?"

"My basement. What'sup?"

"You alone?"

"No. Zac's here and he's kinda trying to steal the phone."

"Oh!" Erin said eager for a distraction. "Let me talk to Zac."

"Erin?"

"Zaccy-baby!"

"Where the fuck have you been bitch?" He said with laughter in his voice.

"New York," she replied carefully knowing that they had lived there for a year and a half a while back.

"What?!"

"Yea...umm...sorry?"

"I miss you you dolt."

"Don't call me a dolt Zachary. You're one to talk. Soooo, I hear you got hitched and popped out a puppy."

"I did. Kate and Sheppard are great."

"Yea, we need to have a discussion about this Sheppard business. What the hell is wrong with John?"

Zac chuckled, "I'm giving the phone back to Taylor now."

Before Erin could reply Zac she heard Taylor get on the line, "He's leaving. What's so important that you called me after seven years?"

"Pleasant joking around time is over huh?"

"Yes," she heard her ex say very quietly.

"God, I didn't think I'd ever have to do this Tay. I didn't want to have this discussion but, no one gives a shit what I want."

"Erin. What is it? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, well physically at least," Erin said avoiding the topic again.

"Then what is it?"

"Our son has leukemia," Erin finally spat out and listened to the dead silence on the other end of the phone for at least a full minute.

"What?"

"Our son Taylor. Our son has leukemia."

"I heard that part," Taylor said and Erin could almost picture the shocked and slightly nauseous look he probably had on his face. "What I meant was, our son?!" he shouted the last word.

"Yea, I'm sorry Taylor," Erin said knowing that the words wouldn't make up for keeping this from him.

"Erin, how could you keep this from me? I mean, how old is he?"

Erin rolled her eyes at Taylor being classically Taylor Hanson, "He's six Taylor. He turned six on September 6th. I got pregnant that week you spent with me in LA in January before you went back to Georgia to break up with Natalie. Which as well all know, didn't happen."

"And you're telling me now why?"

"Because I thought you should know, because he's sick. Because of a lot of things Taylor, but mostly because no one in my family is a bone marrow match and I'm going to be fucking selfish because I don't want my son to die," Erin said and her voice broke as she finally said the one word she had been avoiding for weeks.

"Erin, calm down," Taylor said quietly and Erin cursed herself for desperately wishing he was there with her. If he was sitting there he would be holding her and stroking her hair and everything would be ok. And she hated herself for still being that in love with him after all these years. "Erin, listen to me. I'm going to fly out to New York tomorrow morning. I'm sure there's a flight I can get on. We'll talk in person. I want to meet with the doctor and see what the options are."

"I know what the options are Taylor. He's already started chemo. My entire family, all my friends, everyone has been tested. Your family is one of our last shots."

Taylor was quiet again, "My family?"

"Yes...your family. What'd you think I was just going to let an entire slew of Hanson's out of the deal. You guys have a lot of shared DNA," Erin muttered getting aggravated with him.

"So there's no way to avoid telling them about this?"

"What?!" Erin shouted at her ex.

"It's just that, well, Zac and Ike and my parents will probably kick my ass for marrying Natalie when you were pregnant."

Erin rolled her eyes, "Well it's not like I told you or anything until now. So you're off the hook you wimp."

"Erin, I, just, I," Taylor stuttered.

"Taylor, I need you," Erin said pleading. "I never thought I'd say that again but I need you to do this. Please?"

"What about my kids?" he asked.

"I'm not going to lie, according to the doctor they're a best case match," Erin told Taylor honestly.

"Alright, I'm going to go over to my parents and talk to them tonight. Then I'm flying out. I'd like to avoid the subject with Nat for a few days if at all possible," Taylor told Erin just as seriously.

"Ok, I respect that for now," Erin told him. "But she's going to need to find out sometime."

"I know. It's just, things have been bad around here and I'm trying to avoid a fight as much as possible," he told Erin. She could tell he was still slightly in shock.

"Taylor, are you ok with this?"

"No I'm not. At all. I'm infuriated with you right now, but I also know the last thing you need is me losing it over the phone."

Erin smiled lightly, "Thanks for the heads up for when you get here. I'll let you go."

"Yea...oh hey, Erin?"

"Yea?"

"What's his name?" Taylor asked almost as an afterthought knowing a name would make things very very real.

"Declan Taylor Davis," Erin told her ex-boyfriend.

"Declan Taylor? That's the name we discussed," Taylor said softly.

"Yea. For our first son. I figured it was appropriate."

"Thanks Erin. I'll see you soon."

"Bye Tay," Erin hung up the phone and put her head in her hands and just sat there quietly listening to the sounds of Manhattan out her window and the complete and utter silence in her apartment.