In Too Deep

Jackie blinked in confusion as she adjusted to the brightness of Max’s bedroom. As they slept, their positions had changed. Somehow they had switched sides—Jackie was now closer to the wall and Max closer to the edge–and Jackie had rolled flat on her back. Max’s body was draped partially on top of her, facedown, while his left arm rested on her hip and his head nestled into the crook of her neck. Their legs were tangled under the pile of sheets that had been thrown carelessly to the end of the bed in the night.

Waking up in Max’s arms… this brings the count up to two, Jackie thought to herself, surprised at how comfortable she was. She tried to ignore the way his even breathing tickled her neck… or how his hair looked messily cute… or how if he opened his eyes, he’d have a clear view down her shirt.

Jackie closed her eyes, intent on falling back asleep, but a loud bang interrupted the silence. Max groaned into her shoulder and she looked up, startled to see Mr. Leopold standing in the bedroom doorway. The bang had been caused by the door hitting the wall when it was forcibly pushed open.

“It’s almost noon. Get up now.” Mr. Leopold was about to turn to leave when he noticed Jackie, and his already red face contorted with anger.

“MAXWELL LEOPOLD!” Mr. Leopold barked, stepping all the way into the room. Max pushed himself up, turning to his dad.

“Dad… what are you doing?” Max choked out, visibly nervous.

“What the hell are you thinking?” Mr. Leopold snarled. He looked pointedly at Jackie, who sat up and pulled her knees to her chest, trying to make herself as small and unnoticeable as possible.

“What, dad?” Max retorted angrily, standing up.

“There is a girl in your bed, young man! And you’re not even wearing a shirt! What the hell do you expect me to think?” Mr. Leopold yelled.

“Dad, she just slept in here….” Max trailed off. He realized how the scene must have looked: him wearing only pants, the sheets thrown carelessly about, their positions on the bed…

“You think I’m an idiot, Max?” Mr. Leopold snapped. “Do you? I can smell the damn sweat! Look at the girl’s face!”

He pointed at Jackie, and she realized too late that she was wearing an expression of guilt. Sure, nothing had happened, but she had spent the night in Max’s bed… it did appear suspicious…

Max’s head whipped around and he stared at Jackie. She looked anywhere but at the two males standing in front of her.

Max turned back to his dad. “Don’t accuse her of anything!”

“So it was all you?” Mr. Leopold suggested.

“No! God, Dad, we didn’t have sex!” Max shouted. “Why the hell do you always assume the worst when it comes to me? How many times did Jason or David have girls over in high school? Yet you’re still infinitely proud of them!”

“Your brothers have done something, Max,” Mr. Leopold enforced. He opened his mouth to continue, but Max cut him off.

“I’m a senior in high school, Dad! I go to a fucking boarding school!” he yelled. “I’m sorry that I haven’t found a cure for cancer or been signed on to a professional football team! I’m only seventeen!”

“Seventeen and without much ahead of you,” Mr. Leopold said, his voice dangerously low. “You’re failing classes, you’re bringing girls home, sleeping with them…”

“Shut up! Just shut up!” Max screamed. He was inches away from his dad’s face. “You don’t know anything about me, Dad! You stopped caring when I was five because I cried when Steven tackled me! I know I’m a fucking disappointment to you, all right? I know I’m not smart enough or strong enough and I don’t like the things you do… but I’m your son. And for at least twelve years, you and Mom have done nothing but make me feel like I’m worth nothing. So you know what? Who the hell cares if I fail out of school and don’t do anything with my life? You have three perfect older sons who are more than willing to do anything you say. I’m sorry I’m so inadequate. Really, I am. But some parents are willing to love their children anyway, you know that? What if I got in a car wreck and died? I guarantee you most parents would cry. You and Mom? You’d just be angry that I’d be costing you money on a funeral… if you even bothered to have one for me.”

A vein twitched in Mr. Leopold’s forehead. Jackie was sure that steam would come from his ears at any moment.

When he spoke, his voice was practically a whisper. “Don’t pretend to know what I would do,” he spat. “You don’t know anything, Max. I’ve had three sons before you. I think I know what I’m doing. Stop acting like you’re a tortured little boy.”

With that, he turned on his heel and slammed the door shut, sending an echo throughout the house.

Max took several steps forward and leaned his forehead against the door, taking deep breaths. His back was to Jackie. Neither of them spoke. After several seconds of silence, Max raised a fist and pounded it angrily against the door, making Jackie jump.

“I fucking hate him,” Max said, his voice sounding worn out from yelling. He suddenly whipped around and slid to the floor, holding his head in his hands. His shoulders shook.

Max Leopold was crying.

Jackie was completely unprepared for this. She slowly scooted off the bed and walked to the door, sliding down to a seated position next to him. She didn’t touch him or even look at him. She just sat with him.

It wasn’t until Max gasped for air from sobbing so much that Jackie decided physical contact was necessary. As she raised her hand and gripped his shoulder, she found that the screaming match and seeing Max cry had caused her to start shaking. Luckily, his body was moving so much, he didn’t notice.

Using her fingers, Jackie slowly massaged Max’s shoulder. As he continued to cry, she gradually moved her hand along his upper back. His skin was incredibly hot, and Jackie didn’t know if it was from being in bed together or from getting so worked up during the fight.

“I’m going to get you some tissues and a glass of water,” Jackie said softly. Still holding his head in his hands, Max nodded. When Jackie came back from the adjoining bathroom with the supplies in her hands, Max had lifted his head and was resting it against the wall. His sobs had ceased, but tears were still dripping down his cheeks.

Jackie sat next to him again and handed him the water. He nodded in thanks and drank the entire thing in about five seconds. After blowing his nose several times, Max sighed and stared in front of him, his eyes unfocused.

“He didn’t even listen to me,” he said numbly. “Just like that time on the phone. I told him everything I think and he just… he just… he didn’t apologize, he didn’t admit to any of it…. Am I really acting like a ‘tortured little boy’?”

Jackie knew the question was rhetorical, so she just continued to lean against the door and listen.

A sudden bang on the door caused both Max and Jackie to lurch forward. Mrs. Leopold’s voice rang out. “We’re all going out for lunch. You’re grounded for yelling at your father. We’ll be home at three.”

Max was shaking with anger as Mrs. Leopold walked away. Jackie frowned at him. “Max…” she started, looking at his hands, which were clenched in fists. In one swift movement, he stood up and pulled Jackie roughly by the arm.

“Go pack your stuff,” he said. “Once everyone’s left for lunch... we’re getting out of here.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Max jumped eagerly out of the taxi and pulled his suitcase with him. “I called ahead and got us two seats.”

“What time will we get there?” Jackie asked, following him.

“The station in Brooklyn is about a half hour walk from JA, so I’d say we’ll be home by eight tonight.”

Jackie frowned. “You really consider the confines of James Academy to be home?” she asked as they handed their tickets over and boarded the train.

Max shrugged as they sat down next to each other and stowed their suitcases beneath the seats. “This train is more home than that stupid house. And James Academy is where people I actually like are. Jeffrey, Scooter, you…”

Jackie tried to keep the smile off her face. “I guess that makes sense. Especially after this morning.”

Max sighed and ran a hand through his hair just as the train started to move. “I’m sorry you had to see that,” he mumbled.

Jackie shook her head. “Don’t be sorry. You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

“God, I just… I’ll be eighteen in a few weeks. I’ll be a legal adult. I’ll legally change my name… I’ll move across the country… I’ll do anything to get the hell away from them forever.”

“Are you going to pay for four years of college on your own?” Jackie asked skeptically.

“I’m not going to college,” Max answered, earning him a disbelieving laugh from Jackie. “I’m not kidding.”

Jackie looked at Max, doubtful, but was startled to see the dead seriousness of his face. “Please be joking.”

“I’m not,” Max said firmly. “That’s four more years I’ll be dependent on my parents. Not happening, not in a million years. And I obviously can’t pay for it myself, so I’m just not going.”

Jackie stared at him. “Max, what… are you… you have to go to college!”

Max shook his head and stared straight ahead. “Nope.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“I am not.”

“If you’re in college, you won’t have to see them! You’ll just be using some of their money, and as bad as that sounds, it’s better than not going at all!” Jackie enforced. “It’s just like now, at JA.”

“Exactly… right now I’m dependent on them. I can’t deal with that for four more years.”

“So what are you going to do to make money?”

Max looked at Jackie and grinned. “Borrow money from big-time newspaper editor Jackie Bodello.”

Jackie rolled her eyes. “Okay first off, no, unless you’re dying on the streets. Second… I’m not going to be an editor. I’m not going into journalism at all.”

Max stared at her, his mouth slightly open. “What?” he gasped. “Are you kidding?”

“I love working on the school paper, I really do. I just couldn’t do that for a career,” Jackie explained. “And now that’s what everyone thinks I want. They say, ‘go to this college, it has a great journalism program’ or ‘what newspaper do you want to work for?’ It’s never ‘what do you want to do?’ Everyone thinks they know.”

“Even your parents?” Max asked.

Jackie nodded. “Especially my parents. But I shouldn’t be complaining. At least they support me in other ways.”

“So… what do you want to do in college then?”

“I have no clue. Not even the slightest idea,” Jackie admitted, turning to him. “If you go to college, which I will see to it that you do, what would you study?”

Max rolled his eyes but thought about it. “Journalism,” he answered honestly. “It’s the one thing that’s kept me going at school.”

“Really?” Jackie asked, grinning. “I wasn’t kidding when I said you were the best commentary editor.”

“Well, it’s the only class that I don’t dread going to… even if you’re in charge,” he joked. Jackie tried to push him, but he grabbed her hand to stop her. “Now, now, Ms. Bodello. We’re in public,” he scolded.

Jackie sighed and sat back in her seat, trying to ignore the fact that Max was still holding her hand. Because they had been up so late in the night and then awakened abruptly earlier, she found that she couldn’t stifle a yawn.

“Tired?” Max asked, gazing at her. His eyelids were drooping as well, trying to battle the exhaustion that hung over him.

“Mmhmm,” Jackie answered, leaning her head against the window. The cool glass was extremely comforting, and in seconds, she was asleep.

“Jackie.” Max squeezed her hand. “Jackie…” He shook her shoulder gently. She didn’t respond. Max sighed and, keeping his fingers intertwined with Jackie’s, leaned against the back of his seat and closed his eyes.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The first thought that went through Jackie’s mind when she woke up was that brings the count up to three. She was leaning heavily on Max’s shoulder, her legs draped over her his thighs. They were still holding the same hand.

How does this always happen? Jackie thought next, lifting her head and rubbing her eyes with her free hand. Max stirred beside her, aware that the weight on his shoulder was no longer there.

“Jackie?” he mumbled, opening his eyes.

Jackie quickly pulled her legs off his lap and placed them on the floor. “Yeah?” she asked, pretending to have never been leaning on him.

“Does it look like we’re close?” Max asked, yawning and sitting up.

Jackie peered out the window of the moving train and saw dark, unfamiliar buildings. “I can’t tell where we are….”

At that moment, the train began to slow and a voice came over the speakers. “Ladies and gentlemen, we are approaching are destination, the Bronx. This is a one-way train so be sure you have all your luggage. Thank you.”

Jackie stared at Max. “We’re in the Bronx,” she said, stating the obvious. “Max, we’re in the Bronx!”

“I know, I know!” Max said hurriedly, just as the train came to a stop. “It’s okay, we’ll figure it out.”

As they grabbed their suitcases and made their way off the train, Jackie asked, “How the heck did we end up here?”

Max looked around. “The guy I talked to on the phone was foreign. I must have gotten two seats on the wrong train. We just need to find the subway, right? Or a taxi?”

“Do you have anymore money? I don’t.” Jackie pulled her jacket closer to her as a chilly breeze swept through them.

Max pulled his wallet out of his pocket and checked. “Well, we combined our money for the train tickets… so I have… one dollar and twenty-eight cents left.”

“Well, great!” Jackie exclaimed, on the verge of hysterics. “It’s freezing, it’s dark, we’re in the Bronx, I’m hungry, and we barely have enough money to buy a pack of gum!”

Passerby stared. Max grabbed Jackie’s arm and pulled her along the sidewalk. “Calm down, we just need to call someone.”

“Who?” Jackie asked. “Jeffrey and Scooter are in California, Stella is in Florida, and Lexi is in Mexico! They’re all enjoying the last days of their exotic beach vacations, while we’re on the verge of death!”

“Jackie!” Max placed both his hands on her shoulders and shook her to make her stop screeching. “We’re not on the verge of death! We’ve been outside for barely two minutes! I have an apple in my suitcase! CALM DOWN.”

Jackie took deep breaths. “Sorry,” she said. “I’ve been without cranberry juice for too long. It makes me a little crazy.”

“A little?” Max asked, pulling her to walk again. “Let’s find somewhere to sit down so we can think about this.”

Max loosened his hand, which was tightly gripping Jackie’s upper arm, and slowly slid it downward until their hands were touching. He intertwined their fingers and squeezed Jackie’s hand.

Max grinned when he saw the blush forming on Jackie’s cheeks. Or maybe she was just pink with cold. Either way, they needed to find a way home before it got too dark. Max knew the reputation of the Bronx…

It wasn’t a desirable place to be at night.