You're Still My Favorite Melody

Rain. I had never hated anything as much as I hated that rain. It was the day of Patrick’s funeral and he didn’t deserve it. He deserved sunshine at his funeral. He deserved so much more than this pathetic attempt to honor him. Everyone was wearing their stupid black dresses and suits and I hated it. I hated that I was at Patrick’s funeral when he still had so much to live for. I hated that Patrick was dead and I couldn’t bring him back.

Pete sits down in one of the pews and I’m about to join him when I notice Victoria across the room. She’s staring at the casket from a distance and although her face is covered with a veil I can still tell it’s her. I make my way over to her and even when I’m standing right next to her, she still doesn’t look up.

“He didn’t deserve to go,” I mutter and Victoria jumps slightly.

“I’m sorry, I should-” she begins nervously and I shake my head.

“Stay,” I say quietly and her brow furrows in confusion.

“But I pushed you-”

“This isn’t about us Victoria.” I head back to Pete and slide into the seat next to him. Pete and I hadn’t spoken since we had arrived and for that I was grateful. I couldn’t speak about those stupid trivial things on the day Patrick Vaughn Stump was being buried.

William was standing at the front of the room looking morose and afflicted. His cheeks were still tear stained and I had been the one to wipe them away for the past two days. We hadn’t left each others’ side since the night William and I had lain together. His words stung –they still did– but I couldn’t bring myself to push him away. He was wearing a black suit and had it not been such a grim occasion I might’ve told him he looked handsome. William looks over at me and then at the casket before running out of the funeral home.

I follow him outside, where’s he’s sitting on the cold pavement, with his back pressed to the wall and tears streaming down his face. I sit down next to him and pull him into a hug. It didn’t matter what we were anymore. We still needed each other.

“I just...can’t believe...he-he’s not h-here,” William laments, his voice filled with anguish.

“I miss him too,” I empathize, but that’s not even half of it.

Pete walks out of the funeral parlor followed by a blue eyed brunette. “This is Holly. She wanted to talk to Bill,” Pete says slowly.

I pull William closer to me and give Holly a scrutinizing glare, “what do you want?”

“Holly doesn’t bite and besides I need to talk you,” Pete says and I glance between him and Holly. She seemed innocent enough; Patrick had wanted to marry her after all.

“I’ll be right back,”I whisper into William’s ear and he pulls away from me in confusion.

“Where are you going?” he asks, glancing up at Pete and Holly.

“Pete wants to talk to me so I’ll let you and Holly talk,” I say, standing up. William nods and Pete grabs my arm, leading me away from the funeral.

“What’s wrong? Where are we going?” I ask impatiently.

“I’m not uh...I’m leaving, tonight,” he answers, staring down at the pavement. What? He couldn’t be serious. He couldn’t be leaving now.

“Before...the morning that he...the morning of the accident, I got a call from this guy. He was in Patrick’s band. He said.... they had been signed. He said Patrick wasn't picking up. So I tried calling him and then you, when he didn’t answer but you didn’t answer either and then...Gabe called me.” me.” Here Pete pauses to wipe angrily at his eyes. I hadn’t seen Pete cry over Patrick at all but now he couldn’t seem to stop.

“He said there had been a crash and I knew...god I knew he was dead. Everything was coming together for him and he just...” Pete trails off, his voice coming out ragged and pained.

“Pete-” I begin slowly, but he shakes his head furiously.

“Don’t tell me that everything will be okay or that I should calm down because I can’t. Patrick’s dead! His life ended right before it was beginning and that can’t happen to me,” he mutters, his tone dropping significantly.

“It won’t,” I protest and Pete gives me a skeptical look.

“It happened to him,” he says, leaning back against a brick building.

“So you’re just gonna leave?” I ask incredulously.

“I feel like my life is a dead end and...I need to get out of here and do something important with my life, before it’s over. “

I sigh, “where do you plan on staying?”

“I’ve got some friends in L.A. They have some extra space and... I swear I’ll be back in a few months,” he adds, probably noticing the tears brimming in my eyes.

Pete and I must have seemed like an odd couple. Me in a knee length black dress and Pete standing there with a hoodie over his suit in the rain.

“I’m going to miss you so fucking much,” I mumble and Pete pulls me into a hug. And somehow amid the rainfall Pete notices the tears spilling from my eyes.

“Don’t cry. Fuck Sabrina, please don’t cry.”