The Trouble I Gave Green Day When I Came Around

I grew up without a father. After 22 years, I eventually find him. And he was... not what I had expected. He's arrogant, egotistic, annoying, and about the most self-centered bastard I have met in my entire life. But, I decide to live with him for a couple of weeks, y'know, maybe we could forge some sorta relationship.
I also met his friends (and boy, was there a lot of forging there *wink wink*), his wife, and his kids, who, um, the kids hate my guts (if you knew me, you would too, trust me).
So, you wanna hear my story? Well sit down and I better not see you get even the least bit bored, because I WILL slap you into next week. Trust me ;)