Traditional Parents

Board index - Family

Author	Message
the endless. Fanfic Fanatic Age: 15 Gender: Female Posts: 2623	June 24th, 2008 at 04:52am Okay, so I'm Indian, and my parents are really, really traditional. They definitely don't want me to date, which, for the time being, I'm okay with. But they're even paranoid about me having guy friends. I'm generally not allowed to hang out with guys, even if there are other girls with me and it's totally platonic. The thing is, most of my friends have left for homelands and trips this summer, and I'm stranded all alone. I only have one friend that's going to be here for most of the summer, and that's a guy, Zach. Admittedly I do have a crush on him, but I'm not going to act on it. I just need someone to hang out with over the summer, I go crazy alone in a house. I've lied to my parents before about hanging out with him, even in groups, but I realize this isn't a good idea since my parents both have flexible schedules and would probably see me somewhere with him and then automatically assume the worst. What I need advice on is how to talk to my parents about hanging out with him. This may seem kind of ridiculous, but my parents (and most indian parents) are really really strict. So something basic won't work on them, like "We're just friends." Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated.
Teh Manda Amateur Author Age: 14 Gender: Female Posts: 235	June 24th, 2008 at 06:57am Oh my gosh! Finally someone who goes through the exact same thing as me. I have thought of somethings to say to my parents, but I'm too scared to say it. "Mom, Dad. I'm 15 now and I'm growing up. I hoped that you would trust me in making the right decisions when it comes to this stuff." Is that good? Where do you live, as in the country? Cause then I can think of some more stuff.
the endless. Fanfic Fanatic Age: 15 Gender: Female Posts: 2623	June 24th, 2008 at 07:03am I live in California, the United States. San Jose, in northern California to be even more specific. Yeah, I gave them that talk, with almost exactly the same words, when I spent all of today with two friends, wandering the streets. They called almost constantly, but I think I've got that fixed. Aww it's great to hear that someone is in the same situation.
Teh Manda Amateur Author Age: 14 Gender: Female Posts: 235	June 24th, 2008 at 07:09am Yeah, I know right? Haha. But yeah, I want to help you cause I know what it's like also. How bout something like? "Mom, Dad. We live in The United States of America! It's not socially unaccepted to be seen with boys here! It's not unusual. I don't want to lose my indian heritage but I want to be american at the same time." But anywhoo, do you consider yourself really indian? Like know all of the language and the traditions? Because then you can say the heritage bit and it would probably be effective.
the endless. Fanfic Fanatic Age: 15 Gender: Female Posts: 2623	June 24th, 2008 at 07:28am No, I'm a terrible Indian. But if I were to say that I want to be American, they would probably get mad. I think I've just got to explain to my mother (she's less traditional than my dad, if a little more scary xD) that I'm smart enough not to get into a relationship (not that I agree, but you know) and she should trust me to hang out with my friends. I dunno though. -
Sketch Fanfic Fanatic Age: 15 Gender: Female Posts: 2402	June 24th, 2008 at 07:37pm Wow, your parents won't let you hang out with boys? I don't mean to offend you but whoa, that's tough. If my parents were like that i'd probably go mad, as half of my friends are boys. My parents are pretty liberal, i guess. My advice would be to sit down and talk to them properly. Don't argue too much, cos that solves nothing. Have a calm, reasonable discussion with them and hopefully they'll be able to see things from your side. Good luck.
Maxwell Green. Cliché Catastrophe Age: 69 Gender: Female Posts: 551	June 24th, 2008 at 07:55pm My friend's mom told her she could have a boyfriend, but she couldn't kiss. o_o I think it's rediculous. Parents should have some respect for their children. Most of the time it's obvious when the kid is lying, and it's not right to assume that all teenagers are sluts. (I think that's the whole thing parents are worried about.) My parents trust me around guys, basically. If they were worried, they'd stop me, but they trust me now and that's what counts. You should talk to your parents, even if it won't do any good. Tell them that you don't like any of your guy friends, and that they are truly just your friends. Prove it to them by inviting your dude friend over while their home... I know that's embarassing, but it's the strongest way to gain their trust.
ChemicallyImbalanced Wordsmith Age: 15 Gender: Female Posts: 10251	June 25th, 2008 at 01:17pm My mum always tells me that I'm too young to get involved in a relationship and that when I'm 18 I can start to date guys. She never said anything about girls.
Procrastinator. Grammar Guru Age: 10 Gender: Female Posts: 5032	June 26th, 2008 at 01:30pm My country is conservative, and my parents are so too. My mom wouldn't let me have a boyfriend until I finish my college studies. Don't worry mother, your wish is my command.
miatastic. Ink Slinger Age: 15 Gender: Female Posts: 844	June 26th, 2008 at 02:26pm I'm not allowed to date, too. Sometimes, I feel like I'm being suffocated with this "No dating" rule, but I'm too embarrassed to actually give them the "Mom, Dad, I'm old enough yadda yadda blah blah blah" talk. So I'm all 'okay, whatever' now.
F'n'stein. Fanfic Fanatic Age: 15 Gender: Female Posts: 2483	June 26th, 2008 at 04:04pm My parents are really strict about boys... -rolls eyes- Well not strict, per say, more like they don't really want to hear about it. And things get really awkward if I ever bring up the conversation. Probably because I'm the only child, I dunno.. My mum's not that bad now cause she knows I'm 15. But my dad is just... awfull... I prefer not to even talk to him about anything except music or guitar now, because I'm scared of the awkwardness...
the endless. Fanfic Fanatic Age: 15 Gender: Female Posts: 2623	June 29th, 2008 at 03:35am My mom said I could go. I basically said what the first poster told me too, though I had to throw in that the other Indian girls at my school were whores. Yay.
Nae Fanfic Fanatic Age: 16 Gender: Female Posts: 2877	June 29th, 2008 at 12:01pm My dad thinks every boy I meet is out to violate me
FrancyPansy Fanfic Fanatic Age: 21 Gender: Female Posts: 1294	June 29th, 2008 at 02:18pm My parents are in a way conservative.. (my mom even more since she is christian) but they never gave a shit whom I was meeting. Maybe because my older sister had more boyfriends than a year has months I am just 2 1/2 years younger so maybe that's why. But I discovered lately that traditional parents can rock too. I am living in a really christian dorm and they are.. pretty tight up. My mom is totally liberal when you compare them :tehe Now I love her even more because she allowed me stuff my other friends werent allowed to do even if their moms seemed cooler.
Nae Fanfic Fanatic Age: 16 Gender: Female Posts: 2877	June 29th, 2008 at 03:18pm My mum's not too fussed what me and Ben do/don't do. As long as we go about it in an intellectual manner () and don't make it too public. My mum rocks
Heartbreaker. Amateur Author Age: 17 Gender: Female Posts: 105	June 30th, 2008 at 10:02pm Haha, I just go behind my parents' backs... Probably not the best thing to do, but hey, it works for me. I think they knwo I do too... we both live with it, though. We don't want another thing like with what happened with my sister... haha, long story. My parents technically say I'm not supposed to date, but it really never stops me... so eh... whatever. So what did they say when you talked to them? Did they tell you they were okay with you hanging with Zach? I hope so...
HeartSearching Ink Slinger Age: 14 Gender: Female Posts: 840	June 30th, 2008 at 10:44pm We have a girl at our school with really traditional Indian parents. She is actually getting an arranged marriage and is OK with it.
Heartbreaker. Amateur Author Age: 17 Gender: Female Posts: 105	June 30th, 2008 at 10:50pm O_o Omg.. I couldn't live with an arranged marriage.. I would die... I'm too free-spirited for that.
Dita Von Teese Grammar Guru Age: 17 Gender: Female Posts: 4099	July 1st, 2008 at 09:35pm I wasn't allowed to date until I turned 16, and pretty much it's because they wanted me to wait until I was able to make the right choises without feeling pressured. I've had boyfriends since I was 13, but not actual dates until 16.
Mia Bell. Ink Slinger Age: 87 Gender: Female Posts: 959	July 2nd, 2008 at 11:20am sorry, but I have no idea how to go about it if they're that strict!!

Options
Go back to top