Anti-Smacking bill.

In New Zealand there is alot of Debate over the anti-smacking bill, which at the moment looks like it will be passed.
The bill counts any hitting as abuse, unless it is to stop a child from harming itself, or others. And every reported case of a parent hitting a child has to be checked out by police.

This is causing alot of debate cause many parents believe that a simple smack on the hand is a perfect punishment for children.
They say they were brought up like that, and it didnt do them any harm.

I was wondering what your views on this were? Or if your country/state has banned physical punishment?

I think spanking should be legal.
But not extreme force.
My parents used to spank me with a 2x4 that left bruises.
The only reason they didn't get charged with child abuse was because I was young and too embarassed to pull my pants down in front of the doctor.
I think parents take it too far sometimes.

druscilla;lovesandie:

I think spanking should be legal.
But not extreme force.
My parents used to spank me with a 2x4 that left bruises.
The only reason they didn't get charged with child abuse was because I was young and too embarassed to pull my pants down in front of the doctor.
I think parents take it too far sometimes.

I agree. Spanking is okay, because they WILL grow up to hit parents. But if it's something that leaves bruises like that, it's gone too far.

Spanking or a sharp smack when they've done something legitmately wrong is fine. Anything that bruises is wrong. No child should have to walk around with bruises from their parents.

WeFoundTheDuck:

Spanking or a sharp smack when they've done something legitmately wrong is fine. Anything that bruises is wrong. No child should have to walk around with bruises from their parents.

Well put. That's what i was trying to say.

Look, most of us have been spanked and I can say that I would be much different if I wasn't. A time out does absolutly nothing. Oh yeah, Let me think about what I did. Spanking and smacking should be legal, kids these days are going to be such pussies when they grow up if there is no form of a strong discipline. I might have hated being smacked but I would rather that happen then grow up like my little cousins. They're 11, don't cut their own food, don't socailize, and the slightest touch will send them into a crying fit. If they were raised with a form of smacking or spanking, they would be alot more mature.

Without strong discipline, this world will be run by a bunch of chicken shits. And let me tell you something, I'm hoping that I'm not the only one that sees those kids at the store or food place screaming their heads off when they don't have enough attention and the parents actually have the balls to turn around and say, "Sweety, use your indoor voice." Oh. My. God. I could kill those people. I would have been outside so fast your head would spin.

ha_ha_you're_screwed:

Look, most of us have been spanked and I can say that I would be much different if I wasn't. A time out does absolutly nothing. Oh yeah, Let me think about what I did. Spanking and smacking should be legal, kids these days are going to be such pussies when they grow up if there is no form of a strong discipline. I might have hated being smacked but I would rather that happen then grow up like my little cousins. They're 11, don't cut their own food, don't socailize, and the slightest touch will send them into a crying fit. If they were raised with a form of smacking or spanking, they would be alot more mature.

Without strong discipline, this world will be run by a bunch of chicken shits. And let me tell you something, I'm hoping that I'm not the only one that sees those kids at the store or food place screaming their heads off when they don't have enough attention and the parents actually have the balls to turn around and say, "Sweety, use your indoor voice." Oh. My. God. I could kill those people. I would have been outside so fast your head would spin.

What makes a 'pussy' and a 'chicken shit'?

'cause it kinda sounds like...uh...me. y'know, nonviolence, woo! o.o
I mean, I got slapped when I was a kid but I don't think in the same way you were, because my mum hitting me didn't make me tough or strong or hardcore, it made me comply to rules and have good behaviour.

In fact, it seems to have had quite the wrong effect because I'm quite law abiding, respectful and...kinda...pussyish and chicken-shitty, in that I really don't like having to hit people or be strong or something.

Unless those two things refer to mental weakness, and not just physical.

Uh, I dont thinks its like..
a good law.

It's not like we ( as in parents ) beat our children down.

Amy;;:

No. They say the law is to stop child abuse, but the only parents that are actually going to abide by the new law will be the parents that would never ever think of abusing their child.

the ones that do abuse their children are not going to change their ways just because the bill is introduced.

That's a good point...but it's the same way with any law.

I think spanking is just encouraging child abuse. My parents used to hit my brother and I with spatula. It left marks, and I always thought it was abuse. My parents can take things too far sometimes.

Silverfuck.:

I don't like the bill. There is a fine line between a spanking and abuse and this way, punished kids, when angry could simply go to the police and report abuse when in fact they were simply put back into their place.

There already is a law on domestic abuse and children abuse and that should be enough. My mom hit me twice in my life - first time was when I lied to her about where I was going and with whom I was going and they second time was when my cousin and I hopped a train to a city near ours and were gone for almost two days. That was a slap I'll never forget.

The point is - my cousin was never punished like that and he still tends to vanish for a good day or two. I, on the other hand, am supposed to think twice about these stuff.

Two slaps changed my ways, I'll tell you.

And, how can you teach a kid of, I dunno, five years of age that bawling around because they can't get a new toy is wrong? You can't tell it to think about it during its time-out. They simply won't understand.

Everything needs to have a good measurement and so do these things. When the boundaries are crossed there are laws for that.

I don't think physical violence helps at all. I still flinch when someone pretends to hit me. They always say, "oh, does your dad hit you?" He doesn't. but I was spanked.
I still do things I was physically punished for. But I think grounding and privledges taken away are good punishments for unacceptable behavior.

Silverfuck.:

^I get your point, I really do. But what I consider physical punishment is not smacking someone so hard they'll flinch and be traumatized for life. I don't encourage that at all. Trust me, I know a thing or two about violence.

A slap on the knuckles and such things are okay to be used to kids who refuse to accept the consequences of their own acts. It sounds cruel, but considering the child's mindset, there really isn't that much a parent could do.

Smacking your kid on the head for every single thing they've done is just plain out wrong and will do no good. Parents should know when to use spanking and when to simply hand their kid a time out.

Again, how will grounding a five-year-old prove something? They are too young to understand the pattern of cause and consequence like we can. A slap on the hand, that sting of little pain will make them think twice. Not all, but some.

I don't approve, however, when parents spank their kids to smash out their frustrations. Kids are not punching bags and that's when spanking turns to abuse.

Ahh. I see, and I agree.

Amy;;:

No. They say the law is to stop child abuse, but the only parents that are actually going to abide by the new law will be the parents that would never ever think of abusing their child.

the ones that do abuse their children are not going to change their ways just because the bill is introduced.

Thats actually a really good point.

Personally, I believe that spanking is a good disciplinary form. But I also have a lot of restrictions on where I draw the line between discipline and abuse.
1. I would never spank my child until they are about four or five. Before that, I will use time outs and taking certain toys away.
2. I would never use anything besides my open palm to spank. And I wouldn't strike anywhere besides my childs backside.
3. Depending on the age of my child and the severity of their actions, I wouldn't hit any more than five times.
4. After my child is about 8 years old, I'll no longer use spanking and I'll move on to other forms.

This is how my parents raised my sister and me. My brother was never spanked as a kid (he's a few years younger) and he's growing up do be a lot more disrespectful than us.

...don't some of you think you're being kind of idealistic about things?
"when I am a parent I will do this this and this to my child to punish them and this I how I shall raise them."

No offence, but most of you are like...13-18, not exactly parent age (I know, most of you could have kids for all I know, but assuming). Being a parent might be kind of different than how you plan it now, you might feel different when you have kids. I mean, assuming none of us have kids, can we really place ourselves in the place of a parent and decide what we would do?

I dunno. It just kind of strikes me that we're all children ourselves. I wonder if our parents would feel the same as we do.

Bloodraine:

...don't some of you think you're being kind of idealistic about things?
"when I am a parent I will do this this and this to my child to punish them and this I how I shall raise them."

No offence, but most of you are like...13-18, not exactly parent age (I know, most of you could have kids for all I know, but assuming). Being a parent might be kind of different than how you plan it now, you might feel different when you have kids. I mean, assuming none of us have kids, can we really place ourselves in the place of a parent and decide what we would do?

I dunno. It just kind of strikes me that we're all children ourselves. I wonder if our parents would feel the same as we do.

I get what you're saying.

I tell myself that I will not bring violence into my house by hitting my kids when I'm older, but I have a three nephews who I babysit, ages 2, 6, and 9. It's hard not to strike them when they're behaving badly. I've smacked them on the arm, but never to an extent to where they would scream. Only then do I remember that I may feel differently when I'm older.

My youngest nephew hits people alot. He smacks everyone and when his mom, my sister, sees this, she hits him and tells him "no." The funny thing is is that he still does it regardless of her discipline methods. Of course he's too young to understand, but isn't that just it? He wouldn't know why he's being punished by being spanked because he hit someone. Is it possible that her hitting him may make him think it's okay?

And what bothers me is that when I try to suggest something else aside from hitting, she tells me to shut up and says I don't know what I'm saying. I suppose I should just leave her be.

Silverfuck.:

^I get your point, I really do. But what I consider physical punishment is not smacking someone so hard they'll flinch and be traumatized for life. I don't encourage that at all. Trust me, I know a thing or two about violence.

A slap on the knuckles and such things are okay to be used to kids who refuse to accept the consequences of their own acts. It sounds cruel, but considering the child's mindset, there really isn't that much a parent could do.

Smacking your kid on the head for every single thing they've done is just plain out wrong and will do no good. Parents should know when to use spanking and when to simply hand their kid a time out.

Again, how will grounding a five-year-old prove something? They are too young to understand the pattern of cause and consequence like we can. A slap on the hand, that sting of little pain will make them think twice. Not all, but some.

I don't approve, however, when parents spank their kids to smash out their frustrations. Kids are not punching bags and that's when spanking turns to abuse.

Well said!