Anti-Smacking bill.

I think that hitting is wrong, unless it's a simple spank on the butt with a hand. But anyother hitting is just plan wrong. i speak from experiance. it's just not right
In the US, unless it's not public or reported no one really cares. If they did then I'd be back into the CPS system. People tend to ignore what's really going on, because they are scared.

Well, I sort of like the law.
Since I've seriously gotten to the point where I'm about to call the cops on my dad.

I don't think spanking, not abusing, but spanking a child has any long lasting damaging effects, most psychologist agree. It's been used for quite some time and it works, obviously.

However, I personally, think it's an immature practice. As a parent, or adult in general, you have to be mature to care for a child. If the only way that you can make your child listen or behave is to physically punish them, that's horrible communication. There are better, more sophisticated ways to deal with bad behavior. Spanking isn't necessary, it's just easy. Hitting a child is much simpler than verbally gaining control of a situation, and I think that's sad that parent's have to resort to that. They're supposed to be the mature ones in situations.

Yeah, and it could emotionally damage a child after a certain age. Soon it just becomes sexual harassment, and repetitive hitting shoul be, in a way, considere abuse.

Slacker.:

you'd have to use rougher words on them when they get used to the ones you would normally use.

What do you think would be rougher on a child, learning to communicate verbally, or to solve problems by physical means? I think verbal commands are always a better alternative to resorting to physical punishment. When a child is being punished, they shouldn't feel like their parents are happy with them, your word choice and tone needs to change.

I've helped my mother raise my sister who is 3 now. She is an absolute brat, hits people and screams. She is horrible to travel with, because she starts up a tantrum in the middle of the airport, or the airplane and you can't really do anything about it because of all the people watching.

We used to spank her and stuff, not hard or anything, but enough to discipline. She was never violent then, but she went to this kindergarten and came out complete violent. She's even tried to strangle us a few times - she didn't really know what she was doing. Her face went all crazy and she grabbed at our throats and pushed. She hits us when she's not happy. She's even hit random people around her. I lately discouraged my mum from hitting her, so we never did and we just put her in the corner when she was naughty. She hated that and it worked for a while and we managed to get her to apologize, but then she just walked out of the corner while kicking and screaming.

We decided that we need to put the smack back into action. She needs to be taught that you simply can not yell at your parents or hit them. But I don't know what caused her to be so violent and horrible.

&I also live in New Zealand and I despise that God-damn bill with all my being. Helen Clark needs to get her teeth sorted out and then she needs to make correct decisions. Has she ever even been a parent herself?

I think a firm smack on the bum is ok or a firm tap across the hand, but also one must tell the child what they have done wrong and why they were smacked.

I don't like to see mothers/fathers in shopping center's abusing their children, for whatever reason calling your child "A useless brain dead fuck" is not the type of thing you should be saying to your child or a child in general, I have witnessed this in a shopping center myself. I had a go at them mum and it almost came to me smacking her with a soup can.
With the way I was brought up and the way my own mother disciplined me that type of carry on sparks total rage in me.

But also I don't think parents should allow their children to run wild, alot of kids don't just listen to a warning and need that firm smack, or they never learn and choose to ignore their parents and keep doing the wrong thing.

I think it really depends on the child though. I was a real daydreamer, hitting me didn't work because usually I had absolutely no idea what I'd done wrong. My mum did hit me though sometimes - the only reason it worked at all is because she said sorry after and explained why. As a kid, I needed to understand, not just obey. I'm lucky my mother understood that.

My sister, however, bursts into tears if you so much as raise your voice to her - and she's twelve. What would smacking accomplish there?

I would smack if I felt it would be worth it, but really, most of the time I find it works better with corner time and that kind of thing. And corner time doesn't mean that ridiculous 'I'm sorry darling, but what you did upset Mummy' rubbish. Like the kid cares when it's little. Corner time means, point blank, telling them they did wrong, telling them why, and letting them come to the conclusion themselves that it really isn't worth doing it again.

You'd be surprised how well humour works with some kids in some circumstances too lol. 'Oh, you're lying on the floor and refusing to move, are you? How charming. I'm sure everyone walking past thinks you're a lovely little girl' has worked disturbingly well for me in the past

I think a simple spanking if a kid is acting up is more then fine.

I know way too many kids whose parents think it is wrong to spank so they use other methods of discipline, those methods usually don't work, so then their kids run around wild. Time outs can work, some kids are able to wiggle their little way around it by crying and carrying on.

But if a kid receives a spanking it shouldn't bruise, if it gets alittle red thats OK I guess. But kids need discipline, but I think that idea of discipline is becoming evil because so many people hated it as a kid.

Bastard Son.:

^I get your point, I really do. But what I consider physical punishment is not smacking someone so hard they'll flinch and be traumatized for life. I don't encourage that at all. Trust me, I know a thing or two about violence.

A slap on the knuckles and such things are okay to be used to kids who refuse to accept the consequences of their own acts. It sounds cruel, but considering the child's mindset, there really isn't that much a parent could do.

Smacking your kid on the head for every single thing they've done is just plain out wrong and will do no good. Parents should know when to use spanking and when to simply hand their kid a time out.

Again, how will grounding a five-year-old prove something? They are too young to understand the pattern of cause and consequence like we can. A slap on the hand, that sting of little pain will make them think twice. Not all, but some.

I don't approve, however, when parents spank their kids to smash out their frustrations. Kids are not punching bags and that's when spanking turns to abuse.

I completely agree with you. I babysit three girls (all under the age of five), and I spank them sometimes. Never hard enough to injure, just to let them know that their actions have immediate consequences. I have the parents permission to spank (in fact, they told me they wanted me to spank), and I always use it as a last resort.

There's a fine line between discipline and abuse. But I don't think spanking crosses that line. In most cases.


[edit] I've read through more of the posts, and I wanted to clarify some things. I don't believe spanking is effective after a certain age. My parents used to spank me, but they stopped when I was around eight and started grounding me from sleepovers, or taking away play privileges and such. And I would never hit a child on their head or face. I don't think that's spanking, I think that's abuse. When I spank, I either give them one swat on the leg, or one swat on their hand. They never even cry.

And I also think, like I said above, that physical punishment should always be a last resort. For example, if the three year old girl I babysit won't pick up her blocks, it's a time out, or she won't get to watch a movie with her sisters. If she's playing with her mommy's [sharp!] sewing scissors after I told her not to, it's a spanking.

I think light spanking should be legal. Now a days though, people are so sue-happy and all of that jazz, it's so, damn hard to make it legal. Back in the old days, my dad used to get hit with a belt. He turned out just fine. He's not traumatized.

I disagree with the spanking law. It may just be the way that I was raised. My family up to my mother's generation were very old fashioned and I remember our grandmother getting us with a switch (a thin stick with leaves still on it) or a fly-swat. It took one flick of the wrist with those things against our legs and we'd settle down quickly, if we even saw one of them sitting on the table we would know better than to start acting up. No trauma came from it.

I do think it’s wrong hitting them anywhere else on their body except one swat at back of their hand or on their butt but never hard enough for it to hurt beyond a few seconds after the swipe. Plus, when a child is punished, they should be explained the consequences. It was what usually got us to not to make the same mistakes over again.

I agree. It's better to sit the child down and ask them,. "Why do I not let you do this?" and see if the child can figure it out on their own.
Or the parent can kinda nudge the idea into their head.
I believe it is Authoritarian nor Authoratative.
One or the other, I don't remember which.

I'm so surprised at how many think spanking is ok
It's completely forbidden here and we turned out fine...

I just can't see how it would make anything or anyone better...