Holy Crap...

I just found out my mother monitors our computer to "protect" her children. WTF? She now knows what I search, where I go on the internet, and what I type! I am pissed! I feel betrayed! I haven't look up porn but have searched things pretty close! She knows I have searched sex, drugs, ProAna(I am not anorexic by the way), eating disorders(I don't have one),suicide, self injury, etc.! I am going to die of embarrassment! Someone needs to shoot me or hug me or both. But it also makes me ask, why didn't she help me when I was depressed? And suicidal. That was a while ago but still. Why was she trying to protect me by looking on the computer's history etc, while she didn't do anything when she found something as dangerous as that? I think I am going to die of embarrassment.

Anyone go through something similar?