writing, the necklace, my dear, dear friends, the promise vs. the love, and suicide.

Welcome to the highly Random thoughts of silent:

Hmm, writing. my poetry is getting worse, but i 'find' poems within myself more often. But they're less quality than my first ones. Confusing.
I met a woman at work today... she was a writer also. Told me to get my behind moving and get my articles published, told me to not waste my time, the clock is ticking toward my death even now, told me to learn, to fill my head with everything i could, told me how to make a poor man's copyright. I wish i could have talked to her for hours... i loved meeting her. There is so much to learn from other people!

There's this necklace that I wore constantly when I was still young. Well, not really a necklace, but a little ankh, made of some kind of thin cheap metal. It's never rusted, never tarnished.
Creepy thing is? When I take it off, I feel a need/desire to put it back on. Sometimes i feel loathing for it. Sometimes i get headaches when i don't wear it. Do y'all think it's psychological?

I'm so thankful for my friends... they're the light and joy of my life.

Lately I've been battling with myself. There's a promise i made, but if i fulfill it, i may end up in prison and will most most likely lose the love I've so recently found. I wish i always knew the right thing to do... being so confused makes me angry/depressed and i can't mask my feelings unless it's necessary. Which makes work horrid.
Maybe i should go throw myself off a cliff. Me being attached to a parachute, of course, there's not a bit of honor in suicide.

hmm... *drinks tea*