I miss her....
I guess that this journal is sort of more for my benefit than anyone else's, just, for me to get my thoughts out so to speak. But hey, isn't that the whole point of these?
Anyway, to the actual point of my journal.
On June 3d, 2007, one of my friends passed away. She was electrocuted at a friends house.
Now, most of us have pretty much gotten over it. It happened, and we were all really, really sad, but we've kind of grown accustomed to it. Like I said, for most of us.
When I found out about it, it had been almost three months since it happened. I had been out of town and out of touch with everyone, so when I got back, I never knew anything about it until we had an assembly about her, and a tree planting ceremony. Horrible way to find out, especially when you think that your friend has simply moved over the summer or something, and come to find out you're never going to see her again. So finding out then, it hit me harder than most. I had missed her funeral, never really gotten to say goodbye, never gotten a chance to let her know how awesome she was. And now, I never was.
I've pretty much gotten used to it now, I don't spend every minute of every day thinking about her anymore, my life goes on, earth still turns, and so on. But every so often, something will remind me of her. I'll be running around with a friend, and she'll touch my back and shock me accidentally. I'll lose it right then. Or I'll see a movie, and there will be a massive electrical scene or something, (Hulk, anyone?) and I'll start shaking in my seat trying to hold myself together. A couple of my friends say that I should have moved on already, that it's over. One of them said that she doesn't even remember her anymore, and it doesn't really bother her. It's pretty much the same with everyone else. But I do remember her, and it still bothers me. A lot. It seems almost callous to me to say that someone else should move on because everyone else has. It's not like I'm stubbornly clinging to every memory of her, it's just that things still remind me of her every day. I can't help that. I have moved on, it's just that sometimes I remember things and I get upset.
Is that so wrong?
Anyway, to the actual point of my journal.
On June 3d, 2007, one of my friends passed away. She was electrocuted at a friends house.
Now, most of us have pretty much gotten over it. It happened, and we were all really, really sad, but we've kind of grown accustomed to it. Like I said, for most of us.
When I found out about it, it had been almost three months since it happened. I had been out of town and out of touch with everyone, so when I got back, I never knew anything about it until we had an assembly about her, and a tree planting ceremony. Horrible way to find out, especially when you think that your friend has simply moved over the summer or something, and come to find out you're never going to see her again. So finding out then, it hit me harder than most. I had missed her funeral, never really gotten to say goodbye, never gotten a chance to let her know how awesome she was. And now, I never was.
I've pretty much gotten used to it now, I don't spend every minute of every day thinking about her anymore, my life goes on, earth still turns, and so on. But every so often, something will remind me of her. I'll be running around with a friend, and she'll touch my back and shock me accidentally. I'll lose it right then. Or I'll see a movie, and there will be a massive electrical scene or something, (Hulk, anyone?) and I'll start shaking in my seat trying to hold myself together. A couple of my friends say that I should have moved on already, that it's over. One of them said that she doesn't even remember her anymore, and it doesn't really bother her. It's pretty much the same with everyone else. But I do remember her, and it still bothers me. A lot. It seems almost callous to me to say that someone else should move on because everyone else has. It's not like I'm stubbornly clinging to every memory of her, it's just that things still remind me of her every day. I can't help that. I have moved on, it's just that sometimes I remember things and I get upset.
Is that so wrong?
Posted on December 8th, 2008 at 03:45am
