Oh, your father is abusive? Don't let it affect your school work.
That's what my guidance counselor told me. That pissed me off. I don't live with my dad. I never got a lot of the physical abuse, verbal abuse, sure, but he never really beat me. I have witnessed him physically abuse my step mom and my brothers and sister, though. Anyway, I go on this whole rant to my guidance counselor and she tells me that I can't let this affect my school work. Because of course that would be a problem.
The last time I saw my dad was June 14, 2008. The last time I talked to him on the phone was sometime before that. On Thanksgiving, I was beginning to get very anxious. He always called on holidays. He didn't call. I cried. I didn't want to cry; he's not worth getting so upset over. I cried, though. My mom felt horrible. I decided to write him a letter about how mad I was that he didn't call. I didn't want to get into the bigger issues yet. I was surprised when he e-mailed me back the same night I sent it. I wasn't pleased with his response. He said he was sorry and that someday he would explain. Explain what? Is there a good explanation for being a crappy parent? That's the last I heard from him. He didn't call Christmas.
I still have not heard from him. A couple weeks ago I sent him another e-mail. It was two pages typed on Microsoft Word. This time I went into the bigger issues. I was surprised when everything I was feeling came down to two typed pages. He hasn't responded. I'm afraid he is done with me. I've now told him how I feel and maybe he doesn't want to face me. I don't know. I don't care about him, but not seeing my siblings is quite upsetting. Especially since the last time I saw my sister she told me all sorts of horrible things about life with my father.
Anyway, I'm very stressed out. I was hoping I would feel better and begin to come to terms with everything after I sent the letter, but instead I am freaking out. I wish he had written me back, at least I would know if he got it. I just really want to know his reaction. But I guess there is nothing I can do.
The last time I saw my dad was June 14, 2008. The last time I talked to him on the phone was sometime before that. On Thanksgiving, I was beginning to get very anxious. He always called on holidays. He didn't call. I cried. I didn't want to cry; he's not worth getting so upset over. I cried, though. My mom felt horrible. I decided to write him a letter about how mad I was that he didn't call. I didn't want to get into the bigger issues yet. I was surprised when he e-mailed me back the same night I sent it. I wasn't pleased with his response. He said he was sorry and that someday he would explain. Explain what? Is there a good explanation for being a crappy parent? That's the last I heard from him. He didn't call Christmas.
I still have not heard from him. A couple weeks ago I sent him another e-mail. It was two pages typed on Microsoft Word. This time I went into the bigger issues. I was surprised when everything I was feeling came down to two typed pages. He hasn't responded. I'm afraid he is done with me. I've now told him how I feel and maybe he doesn't want to face me. I don't know. I don't care about him, but not seeing my siblings is quite upsetting. Especially since the last time I saw my sister she told me all sorts of horrible things about life with my father.
Anyway, I'm very stressed out. I was hoping I would feel better and begin to come to terms with everything after I sent the letter, but instead I am freaking out. I wish he had written me back, at least I would know if he got it. I just really want to know his reaction. But I guess there is nothing I can do.
Posted on February 27th, 2009 at 03:36am
That's a long time not to see your Dad. I think you should complain to someone - this woman clearly hasn't helped you.
saveroftheworld, February 27th, 2009 at 04:43:05pm
I disagree 'Dancing Caveman'
I've heard teachers say much worse things than this. And you weren't there with her at the councelor's office so you couldn't have known what she said.
Even though it may not be abuse towards HER it's still effecting her.
And while I feel that the councler did TRY to help, her words weren't the best.
And crying for your dad is perfectly normal, my dad abandoned my family for a while and while I hated him for it, I still cried when I didn't get a call from him within a two week time period.
And if you ever need to talk, I'm here :]
Perfectly Imperfect, February 27th, 2009 at 05:58:48am
I actually think that's a bit insensative. I mean, true, it isn't realy abuse. It is wrong though, and does seem to affect you. Problem is, I don't think it was right that she said it like that. You shouldn't let it affect your work, right, but that shouldn't be the only thing. She should have been like talk to your mom, or say something like don't worry about it, he's a jerk. IDK. something a little more sensative
Sardonic Grin, February 27th, 2009 at 04:01:04am
I doubt anyone in a school told you that. If there is ANY sort of abuse going on in a household, a school HAS to notify the state. Not doing so is illegal.
And besides, what you're describing isn't even abuse- it's abandonment, and your guidance counselor is right- you shouldn't let it affect your school work because if you start doing bad, you're never going to get out of the situation you're in.
Dancing Caveman, February 27th, 2009 at 03:45:02am
I'm very sorry about what you're gonna through, hun.
And yeah, my school basically told me "too damn bad" when I started failing because of my father's insane mental abuse.
forgetmariah., February 27th, 2009 at 03:43:23am