Please Read This and Comment, I Really Need Advice :[
Ever since back in 2008 of December, I suddenly developed a weird phobia of gravity. I started thinking to myself: what if it suddenly disappears? What if I float up into outer space?
Now, I never in my life had that thought or any other thought such as that until December. It freaked me out so much. I refused to go outside for anything at all, because I was so petrified of my thought coming true. I was afraid of suddenly finding my feet dangling above ground and floating off the face of the Earth.
Of course, when school came out, I had no choice but to go. I consulted to a friend on the bus who told me in her "scientific" way of how gravity was not going anywhere. For a while, I was happy I told her and felt like I could go back to my old self.
It didn't help. In ways, it got worse. I just did not want to leave my room. It was the only place I felt safe, and if I went outside, I tried to make it as quick as possible because I was just so scared.
I started talking to a counselor and eventually told my mom. I thought it was helpful to talk, and both of them said nothing was going to happen (counting up to three people here.)
I'll skip ahead to a different point: I was recently taken out of school and put on home tutoring because I was absent so much. Now, in some ways, I hadn't minded going to school. My mom drove me because my thoughts of gravity got so insane when I rode the "big bus" to school, but I took a "small bus" home and felt better. And I also felt safer in my mom's car. I felt safe in my uncles, too, but not my grandma's. (My mom has a Van and uncle has a car that's "higher" off the ground, but my grandma has a "small" type, so in some ways that might explain it.)
But, anyway, I have told literally 14 people [a few friends, but the majority being adults] about my "gravity" fear, and you know what? I still fucking feel it. I can say, it isn't as bad as it first started. When it first started, I had to force myself to throw up and release myself of all the stress the thoughts pushed onto me. It has currently been at least. . .a month maybe a but longer since I stopped doing it, no matter how strong the thoughts were.
Something else I need to add is one point I had figured I was getting over my gravity problem, but then a new thought came to me and it was: How can the world be spinning and we aren't falling? How can the world be round and everything is flat? How can there be no gravity in space, but somehow the world is floating? What is the world floating on, anyway?
After that, my thoughts just went crazier.
Current thoughts I constantly have now are (besides up above): what is the sky? Is it nothing? It's not solid so what is it? Why is it blue? How can it never end? If space is dark, what's up with the sky being the way it is? How do I know I won't float off the Earth and into the sky and into the never ending space? What's the point of life? Why am I here? Who and what am I?
I know, I know. A lot of us ask the questions like who we are and why we're here, but these are the thoughts that never leave my brain. In fact, lately it has been affecting me so badly, the only thing I want to do is just die. Because I feel like living is so. . .pointless. Because I can't take these constant thoughts. I can't take how they keep affecting me. I can't take feel like a caged animal because I'm petrified gravity might go away. I cry quite a bit, I find myself eating way more than usual (and not the best foods either)
Please, please, please, I am begging you all that if you read this, give me some sort of advice or comfort. I can't talk to anyone in real life because I don't have a shrink, and I don't go to school, so I can't talk to my counselor, I know I'm just irritating everyone near me when I ask them, "Are you sure gravity isn't going to go away?"
I just have absolutely no where or no one to go to. ::cry:
Now, I never in my life had that thought or any other thought such as that until December. It freaked me out so much. I refused to go outside for anything at all, because I was so petrified of my thought coming true. I was afraid of suddenly finding my feet dangling above ground and floating off the face of the Earth.
Of course, when school came out, I had no choice but to go. I consulted to a friend on the bus who told me in her "scientific" way of how gravity was not going anywhere. For a while, I was happy I told her and felt like I could go back to my old self.
It didn't help. In ways, it got worse. I just did not want to leave my room. It was the only place I felt safe, and if I went outside, I tried to make it as quick as possible because I was just so scared.
I started talking to a counselor and eventually told my mom. I thought it was helpful to talk, and both of them said nothing was going to happen (counting up to three people here.)
I'll skip ahead to a different point: I was recently taken out of school and put on home tutoring because I was absent so much. Now, in some ways, I hadn't minded going to school. My mom drove me because my thoughts of gravity got so insane when I rode the "big bus" to school, but I took a "small bus" home and felt better. And I also felt safer in my mom's car. I felt safe in my uncles, too, but not my grandma's. (My mom has a Van and uncle has a car that's "higher" off the ground, but my grandma has a "small" type, so in some ways that might explain it.)
But, anyway, I have told literally 14 people [a few friends, but the majority being adults] about my "gravity" fear, and you know what? I still fucking feel it. I can say, it isn't as bad as it first started. When it first started, I had to force myself to throw up and release myself of all the stress the thoughts pushed onto me. It has currently been at least. . .a month maybe a but longer since I stopped doing it, no matter how strong the thoughts were.
Something else I need to add is one point I had figured I was getting over my gravity problem, but then a new thought came to me and it was: How can the world be spinning and we aren't falling? How can the world be round and everything is flat? How can there be no gravity in space, but somehow the world is floating? What is the world floating on, anyway?
After that, my thoughts just went crazier.
Current thoughts I constantly have now are (besides up above): what is the sky? Is it nothing? It's not solid so what is it? Why is it blue? How can it never end? If space is dark, what's up with the sky being the way it is? How do I know I won't float off the Earth and into the sky and into the never ending space? What's the point of life? Why am I here? Who and what am I?
I know, I know. A lot of us ask the questions like who we are and why we're here, but these are the thoughts that never leave my brain. In fact, lately it has been affecting me so badly, the only thing I want to do is just die. Because I feel like living is so. . .pointless. Because I can't take these constant thoughts. I can't take how they keep affecting me. I can't take feel like a caged animal because I'm petrified gravity might go away. I cry quite a bit, I find myself eating way more than usual (and not the best foods either)
Please, please, please, I am begging you all that if you read this, give me some sort of advice or comfort. I can't talk to anyone in real life because I don't have a shrink, and I don't go to school, so I can't talk to my counselor, I know I'm just irritating everyone near me when I ask them, "Are you sure gravity isn't going to go away?"
I just have absolutely no where or no one to go to. ::cry:
Posted on March 28th, 2009 at 06:39am
Just like the first person who commented on this, I came here to thank you for welcoming me a few months ago when I first got an account. But then after reading this and learning about your ordeal, I wanted to comment on it and help, as a returning the favor sort of thing. But it seems that all the previous commenters have said just about everything there is on it. So I conclude this message with the saying.
Gravity isnt going to go away unless the earth's core malfuctions. Not likely in the least bit, because the earth's core is natural and has hard metal covering it. Not only that, but 98765467890 million billion jillion illion septillion miles of densely concentrated earth and who knows what else is reenforcing and encasing the coatings on the metal already.
So even the mages in the story "tight binds and loose bonds" couldnt do anything to the gravity if they tried.
And I dont know if this would help you, but what helps me relax and forget my troubles and not eat unless Im hungry is to watch anime and asian drama. It doesnt matter what kind, as long as it takes your mind off of all the other things that you think about. It could be comedy, it could be psychological, it could be dark, splatter, or even horror anime. Just as long as it doesnt cause your fears to resurface.
Oooh! I recommend Pandora Hearts, 07 Ghost, Black Cat, Code Geass and many many others. Message if you want me to find some for you or if you want to talk.
yukinothekoneko, August 29th, 2009 at 05:44:35am
hi, i originally came here to thatnk you for that long ago welcome cuz i hadn't had the time, anyways i think you should talk to a science professor about the gravity thing, but what you said about having a pointless life and wanting to die was what worried me. if you think you have a pointless life then why don't you make it have a point? i mean your already kindof doing that, what with saying hi to everyone and being super nice. i think everyone has a point to their life, you just have to find out what it is. comment back if you wanna talk.
p.s. thanks for the welcome
BlueGrotto444, May 29th, 2009 at 10:50:01pm
I don't know if I'll be of much help but I want you to know that it's okay to be afraid of something. Gravity won't go away anytime soon hun and it most likely never will. your literally going to be stuck the world for the rest of your life. gravity is the very reason that the world is held up and everything. it's not going to let you down anytime soon. hope i helped you. you can talk to me if you ever need anything. no matter what it is.
VampireXPrincess, May 17th, 2009 at 07:26:50pm
i had a thought dont know if it will help....
in the processes of everything surviving, living, evolving, growing, changing- evoluation
Change happens over time. In truth human are only a small glitch in the timeline of earth, yet gravity has been there the whole time. Well, the whole time since dinosaurs, that your human knowledge know of. When something changes on earth, it takes a long time- so if gravity was to go away it would take a long time.
I mean that if gravity was to go away you would have died of old age first. The human race probably would have died out before then. In your life time gravity is not going to go away.
Gravity leaving would not only effect you ( i dont mean to say you thinking that) it would effect everyone on the earth. Being such want to know it all that we humans are, there are people out there recording the gravity on earth. Gravity leaving would not be a sudden thing, scientist would know of it before it happened. Scientist would be warning as if gravity was going to weaken. They are not warning so YOUR ARE NOT GOING TO FLOAT AWAY!!!!!
dont know if that would help or make the right points but when something freaks me out, i work on logic. And the logic there is gravity is not going to leave in your life time sweety.
hope that eases your mind a bit...
Take care...Anita♥♥♥
write back if you want...im just another random that cares!!
anitac36, April 28th, 2009 at 11:08:33am
Okay, well fear of gravity...Hmm. Well, there are people even afraid of mustard ( definatly not me...) I don't think that gravity is just going to leave. I mean, gravity has been around for how many years,? Millions, am I right? It's like love, it began, it may have faded or grown out of your conscience, but it's still there. If you want to talk I'm always there,( computer wise,of course). Jenni****
Jenni-Lyn, April 27th, 2009 at 03:19:05am
Hi, I know you don't really know me, but I really want to post a comment anyway so here goes.
It must have been really hard for you to admit this to everyone and I think you're really brave.
I know having a phobia like this must be really hard for you and I don't really know how you can get rid of it.
But if it was me, I would keep telling myself that what I am thinking can't possibly happen. Gravity isn't going to just go away. I know its a poor comparison, but that it what I do if I get scared of anything from a horror movie or something.
Don't be afraid to ask people for help, I'm sure there are lots of people who would want to help you.
And when you said you wanted to die, try not to think like that. From what I've already read of your stories, you're really good. You have a lot of potential and a lot to live for.
I hope this helps, and I'm sure things will get better.
Marisa x
Marisa, April 15th, 2009 at 05:55:09pm
It looks like others have answered the major questions that you asked.
Im here if you need anyone to talk to, hun.
-hugs-
Victoria Lejune., March 28th, 2009 at 10:43:45pm
Fear of gravity - which I believe is called barophobia - but I could be wrong...don't feel bad for having it. Every one is scared of something, right? And apparently it's more common than you'd think, just not as many people are brave like you and admit to it.
Anyway, apparently energy therapy is meant to be pretty good with it and can sometimes cure it. Hope this helps.
http://www.phobia-fear-release.com/bar ophobia.html
For your other questions, I'd say just read scientific books. The more you know, the less blanks there'll be to your questions although ForeverTheSikestKate did a good job I think. Knowledge is power, and so forth. Take care, I really hope you feel better soon.
saveroftheworld, March 28th, 2009 at 11:24:01am
Okay, so I know you don't know me, but I know what it's like when you feel like you're crazy. If you want to talk, I'm right here. I don't have any friends, so I'd love to listen to you.
I can't really answer any of your questions. However, I think Juliet answered them all pretty thoroughly.
Nothing_At_All, March 28th, 2009 at 08:57:02am
I'm not sure if this is any help, but I'm going to try and answer your questions.
1.) How can the world be spinning and we're not falling?
Because the world is spinning at such a slow rate, we don't even notice. Its like, a snail if you put a rock on it. A big rock.
2.) How can the world be round and everything is flat?
I think its cuz the way the world bends it so...slow. Like, if you were to take a HUGE measuring tape around it, it would be a lot bigger than we usually think cuz it takes so long to bend into that roundness.
3.) How can there be no gravity in space and the world is somehow floating?
There is gravity in space, just not enough to hold our small bodies down.
4.) What is the world floating on anyways?
The world is pulled by the gravity of the other plants and the sun and the moon and that keeps it spinning in place.
5.) What is the sky?
Its space from a distance.
6.) Is it nothing?
No, its space from a distance.
7.) It's not solid so what is it?
Its like air with a bunch of rocks and pebbles (rocks and pebbles being planets and stars).
8.) Why is it blue?
I think its like, the reflection of all the water on Earth. Or so says my science teacher.
9.) How can it never end?
I think it does end somewhere, we're just to lazy to go find where cuz its really far away.
10.) If space is dark, what's up with the sky being the way it is?
I'm asuming you mean blue. Its blue during the day cuz the sun reflects all the ocean/sea/river/lake water onto the sky. At night, its dark cuz the sun is shadowed by the moon and can no longer do it.
11.) How do I know I won't float off the Earth and into the sky and into the never ending space?
I guess you don't...though that's not really comforting. Okay, I'll try that again. Because gravity is a huge weight. Its like a really fat guy standing on you. And it doesn't want to move.
12.) What's the point of life?
Depends who you're asking. Me, I'd say it was to have fun, make friends, and have more fun. Do whatever you want. Get wasted. Get stonned. Get a job. Whatever floats your boat.
Other people say its to make money, become successful, get a job, have a family.
It all depends on what you like to do.
13.) Why am I here?
To make the best of it.
14.) Who and what am I?
From what I can tell, you are Ashely, Kimi, Yaoi, or YaoiRox. You are a 16 year old girl with a talent for writing good yaoi. You seem pretty kool. I'm going to assume you are human. Which means you have flaws. And from what I can tell, you like to embrace them.
Hope I was a help. I'm always here and love to answer questions or just listen if you need me. But seriously, I'm allllllllllwaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyysssssssss here.
Kate;;Can'tDance, March 28th, 2009 at 07:27:35am
I'm not sure what to say. I tried searching phobias and OCDs, but there is only a fear of gravity, not a fear of it going away.
I was going to suggest putting weights in your shoes or something like that, but I don't think it would help. Because you don't have a fear of floating away, just of gravity disappearing.
I could tell you it's not going anywhere, that it can't, that the apple falling on Newton's head explains why, but that would help. Because logic doesn't make phobias go away.
I don't really know what to say. But I don't think you're crazy or ridiculous for thinking like this. I've heard of stranger phobias. Did you know there's a phobia of getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth?
What I did notice was that you said in smaller groups, vehicles, etc. that the fear wasn't so big. Maybe you're having social anxiety or something. I'm not sure. But if something happened around this time, or even a few months before, maybe that triggered it. If you lost a friend or something changed, or another person who was close to you. If you got in a fight with someone.
I'm pulling at threads here. I'm not a psychologist. It was just something I noticed.
:arms:
I'm here if you need to talk.
dru is losing touch., March 28th, 2009 at 07:00:48am