I think I have depression.

Posted on May 31st, 2009 at 05:21am

Comments

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  i thought i had bi-polar for a while back in october. i just cried everyday for about an hour for roughly two weeks. it got less and less and i felt happier, but it peaked at random times over the next couple of months. i had another bad bout in february and i was sent to a counsellor.
  i found that really helped, having someone to voice my problems to. I went to three sessions over six weeks and felt a lot better. i stopped going because i felt like i had a handle on my problems, which were low self esteem from body image.
  different methods work for different people, but talking about it to an objective outsider worked for me.

  OWL, May 31st, 2009 at 01:18:20pm

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  Just from reading your journal, I can see that you probably have really bad anxiety. The fact that you're stressed (which has led to smoking more) kinda shows this. It can easily be treated though. You're 16 (according to your age on the side) and I don't know what the laws are like in the US, but at 16 in Australia you can seek medical help without your parents even having to know (if that's what you're worried about), so maybe you could try and talk to your doctor? The doctor can't tell your parents anything either because that would be a breech of confidentiality which means that they could find themselves being stripped of their medical practicing license. ;)
  
  When you feel stressed, try and use calming techniques like trying to slow your breathing and taking deep breaths until you feel relaxed or listening to music which makes you relax.
  
  Anxiety can lead to depression which is why you probably feel like you do. I'm not a doctor, so I can't diagnose you, so it's important that you go and get this checked out.

  Lightning Zap, May 31st, 2009 at 07:20:43am

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  Hehe, thank you <3
  
  And, you know, that's what I feared, too when I first had my gravity thought. I mean, I knew I must have sounded stupid. I'd been alive for 16 years and I was perfectly fine. I had never thought of gravity in my life before. And one night it just came to me out of the blue. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to run around, scream, cry, or try and cause myself some sort of physical pain. I mean, you know, gravity has been here since the beginning of time - why should it go away now when I have this one thought?
  
  And, yeah, I was scared of telling anyone. I didn't want people to laugh at me or call me stupid. But after saying it, it felt nice to just let someone know (not that it actually did any good. Maybe that's why I've gone kinda loco and talked to myself/cats. <.<) I mean, eventually, if I was put in a situation where I had the thoughts (like one time on my way to school, my uncle was driving me and I was freaking out completely on the inside. In fact, I couldn't believe how calm my uncle looked driving. Wasn't he worried about floating off the earth? were pretty much my thoughts. And by the time I got to school, I had to go onto the third floor - and I found out the higher floors I go to, it causes more anxiety on me. So I had to pull a teacher aside later, explain my situation, and ask if I could talk to my counselor (the ONLY person who was ever willing to give me advice and listen to me and not rec me to take "tea" to calm down.) But, the teacher was understanding and sympathetic to my reason and let me go. Basically now, everyone who I ever come in contact to, it's pretty much like telling people my name. I HAVE to tell them my gravity situation.
  xDDD wow, I'm mega sorry for practically giving my life story to YOUR important journal. But to the point, I know how it might seem like people will think of you as crazy or something, you have to tell yourself you have something seriously wrong with you, that it isn't your fault. No one ASKS to be depressed. <.<

  YaoiRox666, May 31st, 2009 at 06:05:15am

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  Thanks both, ipod lover (forshizzle XD) and yaoirox666. <3 you both really helped.
  I think I am gonna try to at least tell one of my best friends. '
  I can't hold it in but I fear if I let it out they will think Im crazy (well more than I am) but Idk, Im going to try and if not I'll just try to deal or talk to one of you.
  I hope everything works out for you Yaoirox666 though. <3
  
  *huggles*

  Ironic death?, May 31st, 2009 at 05:51:28am

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  I know what that's like. :[
  I saw some sort of shrink lady twice (due to the Special Ed department as concerns of my millions of absences this year). A few weeks ago, she gave the school my report she took on me and they said she wrote that I had: Anxiety, chronic depression, and OCD (<-- which I don't really know how she came up with that, but beats me.)
  Oh, not that I'm bragging. But you know, this all slowly happened to me when I only came across one thought that was: [ii]could gravity suddenly go away?[/i]
  I was probably heading towards official depression anyway. I mean, I acted kind of like you - er, only mine weren't actually doing things, but super strong urges. I wouldn't go nears knifes over Christmas break because I was mega afraid of having no control over myself.
  But, anyway, in my current state, I'm not sure if I'm getting worse or better. I mean, the school gave me a tutor - meaning I have no human to human contact anymore to students. But things were hard in school anyway. I mean, why would any of my "friends" want to hang out with someone who was too afraid to go outside because she assumed she was going to float into the sky/space?
  Anyway, really, the only thing I can advise is GET IT OUT!!!! Seriously. Talk to anyone and everyone who is actually going to LISTEN to you. Don't talk to someone who's going to go, "OMG!!! Did you see that hottie in school??!?!" if you're basically giving it your all. People like that aren't worth the time. Believe me, I've found that out the sad way.
  
  xD I know this is no help, but believe me when I say I know what depression is like. If you ever want to talk to someone you can always contact me. I may not give super advise, but I've been told I'm a great listener.
  <3

  YaoiRox666, May 31st, 2009 at 05:40:25am

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  Ha, you're welcome.
  And that was the first time I've said forshizzle..lol
  And maybe the last...... XD

  ipod lover, May 31st, 2009 at 05:40:12am

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  aww thank you love!!!!!
  I will def try to smile =)

  Ironic death?, May 31st, 2009 at 05:35:34am

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  Oh, I know how you feel.
  If you ever need someone to talk to, you can talk to me!
  Forshizzle...smile!

  ipod lover, May 31st, 2009 at 05:28:21am

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