Hey, my life sucked, too. [I can has pity now?]
Honestly, now. Everyone else is getting some pity, why not me?
When I was three days old, I was molested. By a grizzly bear. A pedophile grizzly bear. (That makes it much worse.)
I was in therapy for it until I was five. But then I had to stop going to the sessions because my therapist molested me. (He wasn't a pedophile, he just had low standards.)
A few weeks later, my entire family died from mysterious circumstances. I got shoved into a foster home. I didn't like it much. The guy who took me in walked around in women's clothing a lot, and he made me spend every day in this really creepy basement. And don't even get me started on the lotion, or that yappy little dog he had.
After the police took me out of there (something about "unlawfulness" and "first-degree" something, and something else about an illegal clothes-making business; I don't really remember) I became homeless.
I lived on the streets for a few years. It was kind of rough. (A pigeon molested me.)
Then my entire street-family got hit by a bus and they all died. That really sucked. (And the bus-driver that hit them molested me.)
I was addicted to crack for a while, but it didn't last long. I overcame it. (Plus, my dealer molested me, and that was kind of a turn-off for the whole thing.)
I lived in an orphanage, and I hated it. They beat me with wire hangers and made me read slash fanfiction from Fanfiction.net. Luckily, I was removed from that place by the State, because what they were doing was classified as cruel and unusual punishment.
I had a boyfriend, but he died. Then I had a girlfriend, but she died too. (And the guy from the funeral parlor that both funerals were held at molested me.)
I'm okay now, though. Plus, because of all the things I've gone through in my life, that means I can say whatever I want to anyone now, and I'll always be right! Neato!
This journal brought to you by the eggings-on of Dancing Caveman.
Who never molested me.
(That I can remember.)
When I was three days old, I was molested. By a grizzly bear. A pedophile grizzly bear. (That makes it much worse.)
I was in therapy for it until I was five. But then I had to stop going to the sessions because my therapist molested me. (He wasn't a pedophile, he just had low standards.)
A few weeks later, my entire family died from mysterious circumstances. I got shoved into a foster home. I didn't like it much. The guy who took me in walked around in women's clothing a lot, and he made me spend every day in this really creepy basement. And don't even get me started on the lotion, or that yappy little dog he had.
After the police took me out of there (something about "unlawfulness" and "first-degree" something, and something else about an illegal clothes-making business; I don't really remember) I became homeless.
I lived on the streets for a few years. It was kind of rough. (A pigeon molested me.)
Then my entire street-family got hit by a bus and they all died. That really sucked. (And the bus-driver that hit them molested me.)
I was addicted to crack for a while, but it didn't last long. I overcame it. (Plus, my dealer molested me, and that was kind of a turn-off for the whole thing.)
I lived in an orphanage, and I hated it. They beat me with wire hangers and made me read slash fanfiction from Fanfiction.net. Luckily, I was removed from that place by the State, because what they were doing was classified as cruel and unusual punishment.
I had a boyfriend, but he died. Then I had a girlfriend, but she died too. (And the guy from the funeral parlor that both funerals were held at molested me.)
I'm okay now, though. Plus, because of all the things I've gone through in my life, that means I can say whatever I want to anyone now, and I'll always be right! Neato!
This journal brought to you by the eggings-on of Dancing Caveman.
Who never molested me.
(That I can remember.)
Posted on July 2nd, 2009 at 07:12am
Gene Simmons can't be my dad! I'm waiting for his daughter to turn 18! :(
Ambrielle Paige, July 2nd, 2009 at 08:00:45am
Haha. These journals are ANNOYING.
inspire, July 2nd, 2009 at 08:00:29am
Dancing Caveman Lmfao.
I think Gene was Amanda's real father on the TV show Ugly Betty. XD
Shiznit, July 2nd, 2009 at 07:59:32am
I have no idea, Ambrielle.Deneuve. I found that song forever ago, and my friends and I made fun of it hardcore.
Dancing Caveman, July 2nd, 2009 at 07:59:29am
Oh man, I completely forgot about Fifteen until now. XD
Didn't they break up in like, 2000-ish?
Ambrielle Paige, July 2nd, 2009 at 07:58:38am
Oh my god, so Gene Simmons is my dad? Hell yea!
VilleValo, July 2nd, 2009 at 07:58:04am
My uncle actually knows Gene Simmons. Now I have some interesting questions to ask him, should my uncle ever introduce us.
Funnily, I don't see me ever getting to talk to him again after that...
Jinxeh, July 2nd, 2009 at 07:57:49am
Everybody's real father is Gene Simmons. Even Gene Simmons's father is Gene Simmons. That guy gets around in two different time dimensions.
Dancing Caveman, July 2nd, 2009 at 07:57:17am
Oh yes, Maury. How could I forget about him? Or...who's the other guy? Montel?
I bet your real father was....Gene Simmons!
O_O
Shiznit, July 2nd, 2009 at 07:55:12am
Does anyone know the song "Welcome to Berkeley" by Fifteen? That's what these journals remind me of.
I also don't think it's a coincidence that the band is called fifteen given what we've seen tonight.
http://www.lyricstime.com/fifteen-welc ome-to-berkeley-lyrics.html
Dancing Caveman, July 2nd, 2009 at 07:55:05am
Dancing Caveman You're probably right lmfao, she's just begging to be molested now. xD
VilleValo, July 2nd, 2009 at 07:53:05am
Jinxeh: Regardless the dad Maury gives you, he's a molester.
Jessie in Calalini, July 2nd, 2009 at 07:52:26am
Oh good, so you ready to be molested? I AM!! lmfao
VilleValo, July 2nd, 2009 at 07:52:16am
Shiznit, No, let's go for Maury, instead. I want to know who my real father is. (I really hope it wasn't a pigeon. Or grizzly bear.)
v Oh, you're right! And you reminded me, I totally forgot to mention my brief stint as a prostitute. But ah, well, I guess it's not imporant. It didn't last long, anyway.
(My pimp molested me.)
Jinxeh, July 2nd, 2009 at 07:51:30am
She probably does, PsychoSulfur. She's turned into such a whore with all the molestations.
Dancing Caveman, July 2nd, 2009 at 07:51:20am