It's Guys Like You That Give Girls Self-Esteem Issues
Isn't it funny how you can go from being on top of the world in the morning to cursing everyone and everything in the evening? That was me today. I was so happy early on, and then everything started to go wrong. And pretty soon I was tired and just plain angry.
So I was at work, and it was almost closing time. I was getting pretty antsy to get out of there so I could go home and forget about my terrible day. These two guys were the only people in the restaurant, and I could see that they kept looking at me. As always, I ignored them and did my work so I could go home. When they left, I went to clean the windows on the doors. They were sitting right outside in their car (which was way too fancy for boys that age to have. Either they have rich parents or they're drug dealers. Just saying lol) and they had left the car doors open. One of them starts yelling at me.
"You're fat and disgusting!"
Um... wtf? Normally, I'm a very outspoken person. If I ever heard someone say something like that to anyone else, I'd have them thrown up against the side of their stupid car so fast it would make their head spin. Nobody deserves to hear something like that. Ever.
But since it was me that they were talking about, I just didn't know what to do. I pretended that I couldn't hear, which of course made it go on for longer. When they drove away, I just kind of sat there, stunned. People still put other people down like that? I thought these days people weren't so shallow and stupid, but maybe I was wrong.
And on top of everything, I've been losing weight. I haven't thought of myself as "fat" in years, because everytime I compare myself to the way that I was, I feel really good about myself.
This picture of me is from last night. I was at a concert with my friend. Granted, you can't actually see much of my body to make a decision about my weight, but I think I look alright these days.
I hate that I'm thinking about those stupid assholes enough to even write a journal about it, but things like that always stick in my head. But really, am I the only one who thought that people were starting to get past this point? Am I the only one that thinks there's absolutely nothing funny about saying something that despicable to another human being?
So I was at work, and it was almost closing time. I was getting pretty antsy to get out of there so I could go home and forget about my terrible day. These two guys were the only people in the restaurant, and I could see that they kept looking at me. As always, I ignored them and did my work so I could go home. When they left, I went to clean the windows on the doors. They were sitting right outside in their car (which was way too fancy for boys that age to have. Either they have rich parents or they're drug dealers. Just saying lol) and they had left the car doors open. One of them starts yelling at me.
"You're fat and disgusting!"
Um... wtf? Normally, I'm a very outspoken person. If I ever heard someone say something like that to anyone else, I'd have them thrown up against the side of their stupid car so fast it would make their head spin. Nobody deserves to hear something like that. Ever.
But since it was me that they were talking about, I just didn't know what to do. I pretended that I couldn't hear, which of course made it go on for longer. When they drove away, I just kind of sat there, stunned. People still put other people down like that? I thought these days people weren't so shallow and stupid, but maybe I was wrong.
And on top of everything, I've been losing weight. I haven't thought of myself as "fat" in years, because everytime I compare myself to the way that I was, I feel really good about myself.
This picture of me is from last night. I was at a concert with my friend. Granted, you can't actually see much of my body to make a decision about my weight, but I think I look alright these days.
I hate that I'm thinking about those stupid assholes enough to even write a journal about it, but things like that always stick in my head. But really, am I the only one who thought that people were starting to get past this point? Am I the only one that thinks there's absolutely nothing funny about saying something that despicable to another human being?
Posted on September 27th, 2009 at 07:36am
Ok. This is going to sound weird- but I think we were seperated at birth. EVERYTHING, (and I mean everything) you said in this journal entry reflected myself. I am not HUGE, but I'm not a a twig either. And I'm actually VERY proud to say that. I am ALWAYS outspoken, and the other day, I got a shocker. I didn't even know what to say.
someone commented on my friends facebook picture, which is me and HER, and said:
"Fat girls aren't real people."
Now, obviously my friend is skinny, and it was clear he was talking about me.
It's amazing how I can go from having the best self esteem in YEARS, to have NONE at all.
Boys need to grow up.
still.a.little.crazy, October 20th, 2009 at 04:07:13am
Uhm, not sure who they were calling fat and ugly cause you defintly arent.
I have an overwieght brother, and he tries so hard to loose it, but he has a thyroid disease so he cant lose more than 5 pounds.
He gets so frustrated when people treat him as if he is incapable because of it.
I get so angry when people make stupid pompus ass comments like that because I don't understand how you can feel good about making someone else feel like sh!t.
So if its any consolation, I'm sorry that someone would say that, its not right and you're not fat, you're actually really really beautiful and you are blessed to have the body, outlook and talent that you do.
<3
Acadia.Is.Gone, October 16th, 2009 at 12:39:38am
Forget them, they're idiots with nothing better to do. You are beautiful as you are, don't give them the satisfaction and think otherwise.
MaCherieAmour, September 28th, 2009 at 12:49:53am
You look fine.
I hate a-holes like that. D:
You kinda want to strangle them then say you were provoked or that they strangled on their own shallowness.
:P
Miss Crow, September 27th, 2009 at 02:03:52pm
These are one of the many, many reasons I hate people. Seriously, I never have and never will understand the point in putting others down. Some say if makes them feel better about themselves, but how could you possibly feel good insulting someone else? It's ridiculous.
I know this won't do much, but honestly, I'm sorry for what they said. I hate when people do that, it makes me feel - not only self-conscious, but extremely...awkward.
Really, though, be proud of yourself for not thinking of yourself as "fat"! That's a huge deal. Just completely ignore what they said (or try to - I know it's easier said than done) and keep on thinking the way you did before. Don't let those guys make you think differently from now on because that means they did what they wanted to do. And the bad people can't win.
<3
Nixie!, September 27th, 2009 at 07:47:04am
Are you serious?
People that do things like that disgust me. There is honestly no reason for it. I don't even buy that 'it's from insecurity' crap. It's not. It's from pride. The sort of pride that makes someone think they're so much better than other people and can therefore get away with saying things like that.
Your.Pink.Diary, September 27th, 2009 at 07:41:57am