January 19, 2009. Worst Day Of My Life.
On January 19, 2009, my Aunt lost her short life. She was only 41 years old. She was like my second mom. Always there for me. Always there to make me smile.
Her last full day on earth was spent taking care of her sick daughter. The next morning, she got up to babysit two little boys. While they were asleep, she laid down to take a nap. When they tried to wake her up, she wouldn't, so they called their grandma. Their grandma called 911, and she was pronounced dead at the hospital.
My entire world crumbled around me with four words. Aunt Shelly Is Dead. Never again will my life be the same.
Aunt Shelly, I know you are watching over me. You don't even know how devastated I am. I cry every night, thinking about you. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you. It really sucks. Your daughter was graduating High School and you weren't there to see it. Your other daughter was going into the 8th grade and you weren't there to see it. I was going into my first year of High School and you weren't there to see it. It kills me. Really, it does.
Sometimes I wonder, 'What if my mom is next?' Once that thought comes into my head, I push it out.
Aunt Shelly, I know for a fact you wouldn't want me to be sad. I just can't help it.
I remember going to school the day after you died. My mom told me not to, but I said I would. I would be strong. For you, Aunt Shelly. So, Mary called me that morning before I went to school, crying. We were talking about you and we were both bawling. I didn't think I could make it to school, but I still tried.
I cried all day at school. Mom told me if I started crying to call Cole, but I just couldn't. During the morning announcments, they paid respect to you and our family. I cried the whole time. Then, during lunch, some b!tch kept laughing at me because I was crying. Thankfully, my best friend Kaitlan was there to tell her to get the h3ll away. I cried during Consumer's Math, because my thoughts kept leading to you. My teacher told me he was so sorry for my loss. All day, I got sad looks. I hugged who knows how many people that day. I cried on so many shoulders that day.
If it weren't for my friends, Kaitlan, Brook, Bailey, Ally, Brianna, Katie, Katlin, and a few others, I don't think I could've been strong that day.
Has anyone recently lost someone close to them? If so, how can you get past the fact that they aren't there? Is it possible? Sometimes I just want to cry in my room and never come out again. But, if I did that, who knows what I would miss in this f*cked up world.
Rest In Peace, Aunt Shelly. 1.19.09<3
Her last full day on earth was spent taking care of her sick daughter. The next morning, she got up to babysit two little boys. While they were asleep, she laid down to take a nap. When they tried to wake her up, she wouldn't, so they called their grandma. Their grandma called 911, and she was pronounced dead at the hospital.
My entire world crumbled around me with four words. Aunt Shelly Is Dead. Never again will my life be the same.
Aunt Shelly, I know you are watching over me. You don't even know how devastated I am. I cry every night, thinking about you. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you. It really sucks. Your daughter was graduating High School and you weren't there to see it. Your other daughter was going into the 8th grade and you weren't there to see it. I was going into my first year of High School and you weren't there to see it. It kills me. Really, it does.
Sometimes I wonder, 'What if my mom is next?' Once that thought comes into my head, I push it out.
Aunt Shelly, I know for a fact you wouldn't want me to be sad. I just can't help it.
I remember going to school the day after you died. My mom told me not to, but I said I would. I would be strong. For you, Aunt Shelly. So, Mary called me that morning before I went to school, crying. We were talking about you and we were both bawling. I didn't think I could make it to school, but I still tried.
I cried all day at school. Mom told me if I started crying to call Cole, but I just couldn't. During the morning announcments, they paid respect to you and our family. I cried the whole time. Then, during lunch, some b!tch kept laughing at me because I was crying. Thankfully, my best friend Kaitlan was there to tell her to get the h3ll away. I cried during Consumer's Math, because my thoughts kept leading to you. My teacher told me he was so sorry for my loss. All day, I got sad looks. I hugged who knows how many people that day. I cried on so many shoulders that day.
If it weren't for my friends, Kaitlan, Brook, Bailey, Ally, Brianna, Katie, Katlin, and a few others, I don't think I could've been strong that day.
Has anyone recently lost someone close to them? If so, how can you get past the fact that they aren't there? Is it possible? Sometimes I just want to cry in my room and never come out again. But, if I did that, who knows what I would miss in this f*cked up world.
Rest In Peace, Aunt Shelly. 1.19.09<3
Posted on October 2nd, 2009 at 11:51pm
Aw. This made ME cry.
:'(
I am so sorry! I totally know how you feel loosing someone you love. But it's good that you are keeping your head up high, and still living your life to the fullest.
wrc, October 21st, 2009 at 01:57:04am
I'm very sorry. I'm super close to my one Aunt too so I can see where your coming from. I lost my Great Grandmother 2 years ago and I was super close to her. It will get better just won't go away. Just take some time to find a picture of you and her and maybe cry inot it. I did that for my Great Grandmother and some how it helped. Againd Im very sorry for ur loss=(
sharpbutterfly, October 16th, 2009 at 02:58:03pm
I'm so sorry!
I lost my great-grandpa this summer. It was really hard because we were really close. but our family had a big party to celebrate his life and we all made it through, even my nanny, who was married to him for 65 years. it'll be okay. :)
Broooke!, October 14th, 2009 at 08:19:30pm
I met her a couple times, and she was one of the nicest people in the world.
I'm always here for you no matter what.
Keep our head up and be strong. You're right - she wouldn't want you to be sad, but it's always okay to cry.
I love you to death, my best friend.
Tons of Love,
Kaitlan
EatsRainbows, October 3rd, 2009 at 09:48:20pm
My grandpa passed away this summer. It was extremely hard because his side of the family is extremely rude and demented. But I can think about him without bursting into tears. I still try not to think about him much because it still hurts knowing I'm not going to get anymore calls from him....
Tatooli_Bug, October 3rd, 2009 at 01:24:59am
I'm so sorry.
*Hugs*
I know there isn't anything that anyone can say to help, but these things take time.
Try reading up on the five stages of grief.
I only knew my friend for seven months before she died, and I'm still in denial, I guess...
Benjamin Barker, October 3rd, 2009 at 12:57:13am
my condolences
may she Rest In Peace.
Dak12, October 3rd, 2009 at 12:16:35am
I'm so sorry for your loss.
MaCherieAmour, October 3rd, 2009 at 12:08:47am
Emi: :hugs: Mine are, too. :(
Sorry about your grandpa. D:
Rainbow.Puke., October 2nd, 2009 at 11:58:41pm
I'm so sorry. =[
Dammit my eyes are all wet now. I never lost anyone, except my grandpa but I never knew him... :/
::super arms:
Remus Lupin, October 2nd, 2009 at 11:56:18pm