Seriously?

I thought I was over this stupid feeling, I went to therapy and everything! I've been happy for my whole seven months with Romario...Why am I feeling this way? It has nothing to do with him either. I don't even know why I'm feeling this way. I'm depressed again, and nothing even fucking happened. I don't even know what could have caused this again. Nothing happened!! I just feel like sleeping all day...and taking pain meds like crazy, like before....But i don't even know the fucking cause!! I was perfectly fine, then all of a sudden BOOM, I feel like this again. It's so hard to hide this feeling from people...expecially from my family and my boyfriend. I'm scared it will hurt someone...expecially if I don't even know why I feel this way. I don't want to hurt anyone, expecially not Romario. I just want to get over this freaking feeling. I don't want to go back to therapy, because I was so confident that I didn't need it anymore. But now I'm not so sure. But I will NOT go back to therapy! She didn't help one fucking bit!

I keep getting reminded of the past. Of things I did, and things I didn't do. It's horrible. I'm tired of this feeling coming and going. It needs to stay away forever!