Twitter is a lot like crystal meth. [It's a lot of fun to do, and Oprah's on it.]
_______
I don't have anything against Oprah other than the fact that she's an overrated hypocrite and I can't stand her, but I love me some Bo Burnham. Even if I'm in the sh*ttiest mood ever, I just have to sit back and listen to a few of his songs, and I'm laughing again. Him and Rise Against...an unlikely, but winning, combination. Music therapy.
--
I'm still sick. I think it's a mild case of the flu. I should stay home from work, right? But, you know, that whole I-like-having-a-roof-to-live-under thing does require money, so...yeah. I'm disinfecting myself like a mofo at work, and keeping my distance from the customers in the hopes of not getting anyone else sick, at least.
When I got to work today, my manager gave me a really severe look as I was clocking in. She was counting a drawer at the time, and she said, "Wait for me to finish here, then meet me in the break room. I have to talk to you about something?" Hence my mind beginning to race, as I try to figure out what the hell I could have done lately that would warrant such behavior from said manager. (I honestly couldn't come up with anything - I'm a good worker, honestly, and I've been there for two years - I got that job down, so I'd know if I made a mistake.)
"What did I do?" I asked her, rather fearfully. She didn't respond; only pursed her lips, and returned her eyes to the register. 'Well, sh*t,' I thought. 'I'm doomed.'
She finished counting the drawer, and beckoned for me to follow her to the break room, which I did; eyes cast downward and feet shuffling slowly behind her. When we got into the break room, it was empty but for us - good for avoiding further embarrassment in front of the co-workers, not so much for my own safety.
"Do you know what this is?" I was vaguely aware of my manager's question.
"A secluded spot where no one can hear me scream?"
She sighed. "Look at the board, Andrea."
"...Oh." I glanced up, and found to my surprise that one of her pale, bony fingers was pointing to the Employee 'Do-Good' cork-board. It's a small rectangular bulletin board where, if an employee does something good and a customer recognizes that, a manager fills out a note-card explaining the 'exemplary employee behavior' and sticks it up there. There was a good fifteen of them attached to the board with variously-colored thumbtacks, and she pointed to one at the bottom.
'Customer called the store and said Andrea was extremely helpful in finding everything that she needed, and she's glad that we choose to hire such helpful employees like Andrea.'
'Redundant compliment is redundant,' I thought, but I said, "oh. Cool."
"Yeah," my manager said, chuckling at her own you-done-bad joke. "It was kind of funny, though, because she called with the compliment but she couldn't remember your name. We had no idea which girl she was talking about until she said, 'Well, she had a really weird kind of nose ring....' so we were all like, 'Andrea!'"
"Could you do me a favor and pass this along to my father?" I asked. "He's still with that 'no one will take you seriously with those piercings' mindset, and so I'd really like to rub his face in this."
I'm mature. But hey. Take that, Father!
I don't have anything against Oprah other than the fact that she's an overrated hypocrite and I can't stand her, but I love me some Bo Burnham. Even if I'm in the sh*ttiest mood ever, I just have to sit back and listen to a few of his songs, and I'm laughing again. Him and Rise Against...an unlikely, but winning, combination. Music therapy.
--
I'm still sick. I think it's a mild case of the flu. I should stay home from work, right? But, you know, that whole I-like-having-a-roof-to-live-under thing does require money, so...yeah. I'm disinfecting myself like a mofo at work, and keeping my distance from the customers in the hopes of not getting anyone else sick, at least.
When I got to work today, my manager gave me a really severe look as I was clocking in. She was counting a drawer at the time, and she said, "Wait for me to finish here, then meet me in the break room. I have to talk to you about something?" Hence my mind beginning to race, as I try to figure out what the hell I could have done lately that would warrant such behavior from said manager. (I honestly couldn't come up with anything - I'm a good worker, honestly, and I've been there for two years - I got that job down, so I'd know if I made a mistake.)
"What did I do?" I asked her, rather fearfully. She didn't respond; only pursed her lips, and returned her eyes to the register. 'Well, sh*t,' I thought. 'I'm doomed.'
She finished counting the drawer, and beckoned for me to follow her to the break room, which I did; eyes cast downward and feet shuffling slowly behind her. When we got into the break room, it was empty but for us - good for avoiding further embarrassment in front of the co-workers, not so much for my own safety.
"Do you know what this is?" I was vaguely aware of my manager's question.
"A secluded spot where no one can hear me scream?"
She sighed. "Look at the board, Andrea."
"...Oh." I glanced up, and found to my surprise that one of her pale, bony fingers was pointing to the Employee 'Do-Good' cork-board. It's a small rectangular bulletin board where, if an employee does something good and a customer recognizes that, a manager fills out a note-card explaining the 'exemplary employee behavior' and sticks it up there. There was a good fifteen of them attached to the board with variously-colored thumbtacks, and she pointed to one at the bottom.
'Customer called the store and said Andrea was extremely helpful in finding everything that she needed, and she's glad that we choose to hire such helpful employees like Andrea.'
'Redundant compliment is redundant,' I thought, but I said, "oh. Cool."
"Yeah," my manager said, chuckling at her own you-done-bad joke. "It was kind of funny, though, because she called with the compliment but she couldn't remember your name. We had no idea which girl she was talking about until she said, 'Well, she had a really weird kind of nose ring....' so we were all like, 'Andrea!'"
"Could you do me a favor and pass this along to my father?" I asked. "He's still with that 'no one will take you seriously with those piercings' mindset, and so I'd really like to rub his face in this."
I'm mature. But hey. Take that, Father!
Posted on October 17th, 2009 at 05:33am
I adore Bo Burnham. I would maybe marry him... no. But he is funny!
Electric Goat, October 22nd, 2009 at 04:24:45am
I definitely think it's important to be friendly to customers. The way I see it, I can feel as pissed off as I like about the person's idiocy, or screaming kid that they won't tell to be quiet, but I'm paid to stand there and serve them and be friendly, so if I start being rude, I'm not doing my job properly.
TheFountainhead, October 17th, 2009 at 10:05:03am
I love Bo Burnham. He's terrific. =]
Hazelstream, October 17th, 2009 at 06:05:05am
malcolm young., eh, it's a respect thing. And I don't mention my sarcasm because I think it's 'omg sew hardcore & awsum' to be that way - I realize it as a fault of mine, and accept it (though honestly, I should work on that more). But I know when to be myself and when not to be - and when dealing with customers, I'm so nice and bright and full of sunshine that it's a miracle that rainbows and butterflies aren't flying out of my ears.
Jinxeh, October 17th, 2009 at 05:47:16am
I love love love loveeeee Bo Burnham.
"Rehab For Fictional Characters" always makes me smile :)
Saviour, October 17th, 2009 at 05:46:42am
I love Bo Burnham, he's hilarious!
Tatooli_Bug, October 17th, 2009 at 05:41:22am
Haha that's awesome, if it was me I so would have been freaking out thinking I did something wrong. XD
Hope you feel better soon. :]
MaryJulianna, October 17th, 2009 at 05:41:19am
Oh lord
I love the twitter song.
And Oprah is on crystal meth
Slashscivilwar'93, October 17th, 2009 at 05:41:07am
That video...long, loud laughs were had to it.
And congrats on the whole being helpful thing. You constantly talk about your sarcasm, so this is a nice surprise =]
malcolm young., October 17th, 2009 at 05:39:59am