Augh i don't want to go back

Turkey. How I loved that place last year and now i despise it with all my heart. I have to go back in around four weeks for a 'fun' filled family holiday with my parents but to be honest, i would rather curl up and die than go back to that place. We're going back to the same country, same place, same hotel so i'm to just praying that he's not going to be working there anymore. I know i should have seriously gotten over him by now but it's differcult. I want to talk to my friends about it but i feel pathetic for still having feelings over someone that was too old for me in the first place and that used me. I can't even call what we had was a relationship, thats how fucked up it is. I feel pathetic sitting here whining on about it so i'm just going to shut the fuck up and deal with it in my own way.