I Just Somone To Talk To. I'm Feeling Pretty Low.
My friend was feeling low,
so I spent the night at her house.
She cut my hair into a Pixie cut.
And it looks pretty cool.
Then she dressed me up in a little scene kid dress and did some scene kid makeup.
My mom hates it,
she thinks it's short,
but she hates everything I do.
Because I'm the only girl in the house and she likes to bitch at me.
Anyways,
my emotions are fucked up.
And I want to crawl into a little ball and cry myself to sleep.
I want to jump off and cliff.
I want to run into a glass cabinet.
I thought I was doing well,
but apparently I'm just as fucked up as I was a couple months back.
No, fuck that.
I was doing really well.
I was happy.
I was okay.
[I'm not actually doing anything self-destruction wise.
It hasn't gone that far yet,
but it's only an inch away.]
I never really thought I'd need somebody there for me,
I was always used to being alone, picking myself up off the floor and wiping away my own tears.
But, right now,
I do really want someone here.
I don't want someone to tell me to shut the fuck up.
I don't want someone to tell me, "Oh, I'm sorry, I hope you feel better."
I don't want my mom to insult me, and then ask "Well, why don't you want to hang out with me?"
I want someone to hold me as tight as they can and say,
"It's going to be okay,
I promise."
I want someone to just listen to me.
For once in my life,
I want to be taken care of.
I dunno,
maybe I'm PMSing real bad or something...
Egh.
I wanna cry really bad,
but I have to wait until my mom leaves.
Because then nobody will bother me, and I don't have to make up excuses.
I love my dad.
He understands everything perfectly.
He's annoying sometimes with religion,
but other than that,
he's awesome.
Egh.
It's good to know that I haven't given up.
Haha.
Thank God for the song 'Hey Jude.'
Meh.
*dies*
so I spent the night at her house.
She cut my hair into a Pixie cut.
And it looks pretty cool.
Then she dressed me up in a little scene kid dress and did some scene kid makeup.
My mom hates it,
she thinks it's short,
but she hates everything I do.
Because I'm the only girl in the house and she likes to bitch at me.
Anyways,
my emotions are fucked up.
And I want to crawl into a little ball and cry myself to sleep.
I want to jump off and cliff.
I want to run into a glass cabinet.
I thought I was doing well,
but apparently I'm just as fucked up as I was a couple months back.
No, fuck that.
I was doing really well.
I was happy.
I was okay.
[I'm not actually doing anything self-destruction wise.
It hasn't gone that far yet,
but it's only an inch away.]
I never really thought I'd need somebody there for me,
I was always used to being alone, picking myself up off the floor and wiping away my own tears.
But, right now,
I do really want someone here.
I don't want someone to tell me to shut the fuck up.
I don't want someone to tell me, "Oh, I'm sorry, I hope you feel better."
I don't want my mom to insult me, and then ask "Well, why don't you want to hang out with me?"
I want someone to hold me as tight as they can and say,
"It's going to be okay,
I promise."
I want someone to just listen to me.
For once in my life,
I want to be taken care of.
I dunno,
maybe I'm PMSing real bad or something...
Egh.
I wanna cry really bad,
but I have to wait until my mom leaves.
Because then nobody will bother me, and I don't have to make up excuses.
I love my dad.
He understands everything perfectly.
He's annoying sometimes with religion,
but other than that,
he's awesome.
Egh.
It's good to know that I haven't given up.
Haha.
Thank God for the song 'Hey Jude.'
Meh.
*dies*
Posted on September 24th, 2007 at 12:28am
it will be alright.
Eyeliner Queen, September 24th, 2007 at 05:35:47am
I know a complete stranger saying "I'm here." won't really solve much but I know how you feel and you can talk to me if you want.
Don't go the extra inch. It's not worth the trouble. Please don't.
I can't hug you but I can say it is gonna get better. It has to.
Johnny and June, September 24th, 2007 at 02:50:22am
Thanks.
But, I've been through the cutting thing,
and I stopped,
and I haven't gone back.
And yeah.
But, thank you.
Sid and Nancy, September 24th, 2007 at 01:00:02am
I have had that heppen to me more times then one honey.
Don't worrie, after you have hit rock bottem, it can only get better.
When you say 'self destruction' I will assume you mean inflicting self harm.
Please don't do that.
I did that for a long time. It isn't worth it.
You will have scars.
Mine are bad and my doctor says they will fade away over long periods of time.
Please, please please please don't do that. If you can't do it for yourself then do it for all of the former cutters.
Please
I am here if you really need some one to talk too. I am a good listener. You can talk to me about anything. I am this way with all of my friends.
Just remember one thing:
You can always talk to someone.
That is one thing no one ever told me.
It will be all right in the end.
xoxoxo
Samantha.
SammiSlaughter, September 24th, 2007 at 12:51:21am
Yes please. :]
krispy_sock@hotmail.com
Sid and Nancy, September 24th, 2007 at 12:45:14am
yeppo, I_LUV_RHCP@hotmail.co.uk want me to add you?? xx
raytoroishot, September 24th, 2007 at 12:42:02am
I've been there and back.
You need some destressing things to do, to get through the dark vale of horrible thoughts and crap.
The Doctor., September 24th, 2007 at 12:41:24am
Do any of you have MSN?
Sid and Nancy, September 24th, 2007 at 12:39:59am
aww, il listen to you!!
i pretty much know what your going through.... well, i dont because i dont know why your feeling low, but still, iv been feeling that way for 7 months strait!
and i also have no one at all to talk to it about, literally, i see my friends once a fortnight if im lucky....
soz, im turning this into a sob story, just to let you know u can talk to me whenever you like.... even tho u dont know me lol =P xxxxxx cheer up hunny!!!
raytoroishot, September 24th, 2007 at 12:39:14am
I know how you feel.
I feel the exact same way.
But I don't have my dad, I wish I did.
But I don't bother people with my problems, so I usually keep to myself.
I have this whole other depressed life and nobody knows, not even my best friends.
-DisasterxXxTime
MidnightXScene, September 24th, 2007 at 12:36:16am
talk to me : )
boom boom!, September 24th, 2007 at 12:35:06am