Constantly Under Pressure
Delema: My Friends
Why: Well, this is how it starts. My friends are completely different from me. They swear all the time, make crude jokes, drink alot, get drunk, are super outgoing. And I am the exact opposite! I try not tos wear, I make not-crude/somewhat curde jokes, never drink, never tasted alcohol, and am very shy.
Sometimes I hate it. Being so different, but it's part of who I am, and who I want to be. I am a Christian, so most of the things my friends do are unacceptable to me and my very strick parents. And plus I have a very guilty concense! So I have a double whammy, but I like it because I hate sinning and not being Godly!
But the problem is, sometimes I get suckered in, and sometimes I get scared to tell. And sometimes I want to do the wrong, but know it's wrong!
And now my friensd want me to try alcohol, and I want to be all cool about it and am like " Well you guys can drink, but I wont " and I know I should say, no it makes me feel uncomfortable, but I don't want them to be disapointed in me and angry at me, but I also don't want to be unfaithful to God!! And now my one friend is pressuring me to drink, adn I really don't want to and I keep telling her no cuz I don't want too and my parent's will get really mad and that I could freakin' drink milk and get the sam feeling! But she just wont understand!
And I feel so hopeless! I can talk to my mom, but..urgh I don't know! I could be such a better Christian but Im not being it, and I try to be..but I could be doing so much much much better! And I try my hardest to be perfect for everyone, the perfect sister, the perfect friend, the perfect daughter, and the perfect child to God!! And I find it so hard, and I try my hardest to put God first but sometiems other things try for a while to get ahead of him..adn I feel so guilty and so awful and that I'm not going to go to Heaven and I just cry!!!
I just want to be such a better person than I am..nicer, more responsible, more relaiable, more fun, more faithful, more loyal, more understanding, not making fun of people, more strong, more..everything!!
Thank you for the advice, and even if you aren't a Christian and you don't understand..any advice would really help! Thank you!!
-Kiana-
Why: Well, this is how it starts. My friends are completely different from me. They swear all the time, make crude jokes, drink alot, get drunk, are super outgoing. And I am the exact opposite! I try not tos wear, I make not-crude/somewhat curde jokes, never drink, never tasted alcohol, and am very shy.
Sometimes I hate it. Being so different, but it's part of who I am, and who I want to be. I am a Christian, so most of the things my friends do are unacceptable to me and my very strick parents. And plus I have a very guilty concense! So I have a double whammy, but I like it because I hate sinning and not being Godly!
But the problem is, sometimes I get suckered in, and sometimes I get scared to tell. And sometimes I want to do the wrong, but know it's wrong!
And now my friensd want me to try alcohol, and I want to be all cool about it and am like " Well you guys can drink, but I wont " and I know I should say, no it makes me feel uncomfortable, but I don't want them to be disapointed in me and angry at me, but I also don't want to be unfaithful to God!! And now my one friend is pressuring me to drink, adn I really don't want to and I keep telling her no cuz I don't want too and my parent's will get really mad and that I could freakin' drink milk and get the sam feeling! But she just wont understand!
And I feel so hopeless! I can talk to my mom, but..urgh I don't know! I could be such a better Christian but Im not being it, and I try to be..but I could be doing so much much much better! And I try my hardest to be perfect for everyone, the perfect sister, the perfect friend, the perfect daughter, and the perfect child to God!! And I find it so hard, and I try my hardest to put God first but sometiems other things try for a while to get ahead of him..adn I feel so guilty and so awful and that I'm not going to go to Heaven and I just cry!!!
I just want to be such a better person than I am..nicer, more responsible, more relaiable, more fun, more faithful, more loyal, more understanding, not making fun of people, more strong, more..everything!!
Thank you for the advice, and even if you aren't a Christian and you don't understand..any advice would really help! Thank you!!
-Kiana-
Posted on February 9th, 2008 at 07:00am
My friends at my current school are always going out and getting drunk. And i live straight edge. They accept this and like me for my choice. You should just tell them that you live straight edge on your own free will.....maybe they might think again.
Rust;, February 9th, 2008 at 08:28:21am
I know exactly how you feel.
and i dont know what to do either.
but you'll be okay, i promise.
:D
breakdown !, February 9th, 2008 at 07:27:03am
all i can say is... if theyre really ur friends theyll understand. they shouldnt be trying to make you do things that make you uncomfortable. friends should have your best interests at heart and it seems like thats not really whats going on with u
broken_city_sky, February 9th, 2008 at 07:04:58am