StupidStupidStupidStupid!
Why, right now, am I so insistant on hurting anyone and everyone?
Am I just totally shameless, do I just have no morals?
I like him a lot, I haven't felt this way for like... I don't know. I don't even know. That's a sad state of affairs, that the moment I feel this way, is when I'm someones bloody bit on the side.
Yes, that's right. I've admitted it to myself.
I am somebody's bit on the side.
I am an awful, awful, horrible person, who doesn't deserve half of what she's got.
I take my life for granted so much.
I have parents with a lot of money, I have parents who love and dote on me, and an older brother who is just plain awesome.
I have the most amazing friends in the entire world, but the one boy I want already has a girlfriend so I have to go and have him as well, don't I?
And. D:
I don't even know.
I feel awful but I don't want to do anything about it.
I just want to be with him, even if he's still with his girlfriend.
And if she finds out she'll get really hurt, and then I'll be first in the firing line - understandably. I'll ruin everything, and I'll hurt people, and then. Well.
You know how he tries to make it seem better? "The drugs are splitting us apart anyways."
Is that reasonable?
Someone tell me what to do please? I'm so clueless, and just, horrible.
Am I just totally shameless, do I just have no morals?
I like him a lot, I haven't felt this way for like... I don't know. I don't even know. That's a sad state of affairs, that the moment I feel this way, is when I'm someones bloody bit on the side.
Yes, that's right. I've admitted it to myself.
I am somebody's bit on the side.
I am an awful, awful, horrible person, who doesn't deserve half of what she's got.
I take my life for granted so much.
I have parents with a lot of money, I have parents who love and dote on me, and an older brother who is just plain awesome.
I have the most amazing friends in the entire world, but the one boy I want already has a girlfriend so I have to go and have him as well, don't I?
And. D:
I don't even know.
I feel awful but I don't want to do anything about it.
I just want to be with him, even if he's still with his girlfriend.
And if she finds out she'll get really hurt, and then I'll be first in the firing line - understandably. I'll ruin everything, and I'll hurt people, and then. Well.
You know how he tries to make it seem better? "The drugs are splitting us apart anyways."
Is that reasonable?
Someone tell me what to do please? I'm so clueless, and just, horrible.
Posted on March 10th, 2008 at 11:43pm
It's so hard when you're in love with someone that you know you can't have; been there and got the t-shirt mate.
All I would say is just be careful; don't build your hopes up mega-high just in case you're in for a fall, but like K-TGales said in her comment, just hang out a bit and always try and be there for him. I;m sure if he really likes you that much then he'll ditch his girlfriend at some point. Try not to hang on his every word though and become obsessive (yes, I know it's hard).
You are not horrible at all. You're just feeling love for someone and that does not make you a terrible person.
I really hope everything goes well for you, oh and btw, I love your profile page to bits!
Love ya hun
MCRLUCY, March 11th, 2008 at 08:57:24pm
Well if their relationship isn't even close right now, then they'll eventually break up. I've never actually loved someone to tears so I don't really know what to tell you since I haven't been in your shoes before. I guess just befriend him and hang out with him as much as possible, but don't com eon too strong because that might make things worse between you. I hope that helps some...
K-TGales, March 11th, 2008 at 02:39:53am