I'm scared of the future.

I'm scared because I don't know what's going to happen. I'm scared that in a few years, the bands that save me everyday won't be there to save me anymore. I'm scared of what I'm goin to amount to. I have this weird feeling deep down that I'm not going to be able to become an author. I'm scared that I won't even live to become an author.

It seems now that everytime I listen to Green Day or My Chemical Romance, I'm not thinking about the song and the words. I'm thinking about what's gunna happen to the members of the band. I'm constantly fighting off the tears that come with the thoughts that after TBP or AI that GD and MCR will 'take a break'.

I can't remember where I've heard this, but, I think it was in an interview that someone in MCR said that after the touring for TBP, that they're going to 'take a break' and that. I fully understand why they would say that. They deserve a break. But a tiny bit of me is selfish and doesn't want them to do that, because of that fear. The fear that when they 'take a break' it will be a very long one, they'll start family's and slowly move more and more away from the idea of writing new materia.

I'm scared that when I need them most, they won't be there to help me. And I'll just end up facing death. Another fear. Not really the fact of dying. But not knowing what happens after you die. Do you still think? Is there pain? Just because doctors tell you 'it was painless' doesn't mean there is never pain.
Are you reincarnated? If so, do you remember anything from your passed life? Music? Kids? Books? People?

I guess I'm just a bundle of nerves because I don't know what the future holds for me. I hate not knowing.