Differences in life.

One of the few serious journals i'll ever write.

And one of the BEST fires i've ever made:

I look back on old pictures and shit. Basically stuff i'd forgotten all about until now. Or stuff I just made myself forget.
Stupid letters, messages, pictures and more. I never realized there were so many forms of lies until today.
You're probably wondering where this is going.
Well, this is going to me realizing how different I was a little over a year ago, and how much better I am, now that i'm through with him.
(And I doubt he'll read this, but if you do, none of it is intentional to hurt your feelings, I just really need to get it out).

First off, I was living with my mom at the time. (Who I havent spoken to since a little before spring break BTW). What went on when I lived with her is another, way more personal story that i'm not going into. Just know, it was basicly hell. Not to mention, she rarely let me leave the house, so what did that mean? When I was allowed to have my phone, or (rarely) when the phone line hadn't been ripped out of the wall, allowing me to get online, I could talk to that piece of trash I thought I loved.
Thought.
So, basically, I lived my life in a bubble. Go to school, talk to almost no one (I wasn't very social at the time), come home, get yelled at etc, and if i'm lucky, talk to him.
Which, I was naive at the time, so I was excited about just that. And, of course, he was the first guy I had a serious relationship with- so I was OF COURSE going to jump the gun when the bullshit "love" part came into the story.
Not until much, much later, about a few months ago, to be exact, did I find out Mr.Scumbag was cheating on me. Yeah, and I was the one that was wrong in the relationship?
I'll admit, I was to some certain extent. I broke up with him a few times, so what? He was the dumbass that kept taking me back.
As far as my memory will allow, he cheated on me, lied about loving me, broke up with me for a complete whore who was fucking his brother (smart move, incest boy), lead me on more than once. And probably a dozen other things I can't think of.
Not to mention, he claims i've given him oral more than once. Sorry sweetheart, we never did ANYTHING. And if I had, I sure as hell wouldn't deny it.
And it just gets better.
I'm passing all my classes but one, (Wahaha, French sucks!), I dont drink or smoke, and i'll cut my throat before I get near a drug. (Not saying I never tried one, im not perfect, but no thanks. Not for me. NUh uh.)
Where's he at?
Dropped out, FINALLY got a "job", we dont hang out but all the pictures I see of him consist of alcohol, weed, and cigarettes.
Yep.



I'll say I made a good choice by moving on.
I'm just making sure that everyone knows I realize the fucked up mistake I made on him, even though I didn't realize it at the time. (Never let a friend hook you up with their friend, they tend to lie to each of you.

I'm glad I can laugh about it all now, to be honest.
I can laugh at my mistakes, and definetly laugh at his.
Maybe the only way to him was through his brother? Haha, it worked for that other chick. Whatever her name was.
Chlamydia, HIV, and gonhorrea all sound like it.


It's amazing how you think you know someone when you first meet them, and then they turn out to be completely opposite, huh?