The Whole Suicides Thing
I'm so pissed off! This time it really got me!!!
THAT'S ENOUGH!
I've heard spectacular news. Some teenager committed suicide! Isn't it the worst thing I heard this week? :( No, wait... I heard the same thing yesterday... And on Wednesday, too. It's all because of these horrible emo bands like My Chemical Romance, Foo Fighters or Bullet For My Valentine! We should blame them! It's not the parents and family and friends, it's the bands!
JESUS CHRIST, PEOPLE, WAKE FUCKING UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why you write about suicides? It's such a common thing, that to write about every suicide of a teenager on paper, they'd have to cut down all the trees down the Amazon!
I'm not saying that suicides are a good thing. But sometimes that's the only way out. And I understand these people completely and utterly.
Why they write about THIS teenager, not some other? They're always so shocked, they always say that their child was just 'trying to be fashionable' and good and intelligent and didn't show any signs of depression and suicidal thoughts. But the truth is that they can't/don't want to/don't have time to observe their own children. If they'd look carefully at them for two-three days, they'd notice that they've changed.
People need to understand that everyone has got their own life and does with it whatever he wants. If someone hates his life, in my opinion he has the right to kill himself. I would do it. I wanted to, but gave myself and others another chance.
MCR did NOT save my life. Metallica did and I'll thank them for ever. I like MCR because of their music, not lyrics. They don't 'speak' to me, I don't see any connection between them and myself. To be honest, after listening to Dead! I decided to never, ever listen to this song again. I really hate it. 'Cause it actually made me feel not worth anything. If not a few people, maybe I'd be dead by now.
"No one ever had much nice to say
I think they never liked you anyway"
This really made me feel fucking useless. As if Gerard Way was telling me this, to make me realize the truth. This disappointed me. For a few weeks I even didn't want to think about MCR. It made me feel sick. It made me want to die. Because I knew that these words are true. I never felt liked in any way. Only two people keep me alive now. But I feel faint again.
On Tuesday I refused to go to school. For next two days I was constantly crying, wanting to kill myself, hating every person walking on earth, not caring about anything, even that logo-thing that appeared on metallica.com. My mother took me to psychologist. She thought that it was all about my low self-esteem and made me list my merits. Of course, she 'forgot' about my faults, because there is more of them. I think that having a lot of interests (which I lost this week) is not my good point, because everyone is interested in something. This visit didn't give me anything.
I still hate myself. I try to fight every feeling in myself that is associated with depression. I tried to fight the fact that I didn't care at all what my favorite guitarist's child looks like when his first photos appeared. I tried to fight the urge to cry. I tried to fight the will to die. I tried to fight the feeling of being rejected.
I feel dead. I feel lonely. I feel useless. I feel worthless.
Why do I even tell you this?
Just think about yourself and what do you feel.
I'm gonna listen to a band, that likes the drummer of a famous band that an emo band likes, so they all are emo. I can't believe that someone said that Bullet For My Valentine is emo. If so, then fucking Metallica is emo, too. And also Oasis, because Lars Ulrich likes them.
Take care.
xoxo
THAT'S ENOUGH!
I've heard spectacular news. Some teenager committed suicide! Isn't it the worst thing I heard this week? :( No, wait... I heard the same thing yesterday... And on Wednesday, too. It's all because of these horrible emo bands like My Chemical Romance, Foo Fighters or Bullet For My Valentine! We should blame them! It's not the parents and family and friends, it's the bands!
JESUS CHRIST, PEOPLE, WAKE FUCKING UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why you write about suicides? It's such a common thing, that to write about every suicide of a teenager on paper, they'd have to cut down all the trees down the Amazon!
I'm not saying that suicides are a good thing. But sometimes that's the only way out. And I understand these people completely and utterly.
Why they write about THIS teenager, not some other? They're always so shocked, they always say that their child was just 'trying to be fashionable' and good and intelligent and didn't show any signs of depression and suicidal thoughts. But the truth is that they can't/don't want to/don't have time to observe their own children. If they'd look carefully at them for two-three days, they'd notice that they've changed.
People need to understand that everyone has got their own life and does with it whatever he wants. If someone hates his life, in my opinion he has the right to kill himself. I would do it. I wanted to, but gave myself and others another chance.
MCR did NOT save my life. Metallica did and I'll thank them for ever. I like MCR because of their music, not lyrics. They don't 'speak' to me, I don't see any connection between them and myself. To be honest, after listening to Dead! I decided to never, ever listen to this song again. I really hate it. 'Cause it actually made me feel not worth anything. If not a few people, maybe I'd be dead by now.
"No one ever had much nice to say
I think they never liked you anyway"
This really made me feel fucking useless. As if Gerard Way was telling me this, to make me realize the truth. This disappointed me. For a few weeks I even didn't want to think about MCR. It made me feel sick. It made me want to die. Because I knew that these words are true. I never felt liked in any way. Only two people keep me alive now. But I feel faint again.
On Tuesday I refused to go to school. For next two days I was constantly crying, wanting to kill myself, hating every person walking on earth, not caring about anything, even that logo-thing that appeared on metallica.com. My mother took me to psychologist. She thought that it was all about my low self-esteem and made me list my merits. Of course, she 'forgot' about my faults, because there is more of them. I think that having a lot of interests (which I lost this week) is not my good point, because everyone is interested in something. This visit didn't give me anything.
I still hate myself. I try to fight every feeling in myself that is associated with depression. I tried to fight the fact that I didn't care at all what my favorite guitarist's child looks like when his first photos appeared. I tried to fight the urge to cry. I tried to fight the will to die. I tried to fight the feeling of being rejected.
I feel dead. I feel lonely. I feel useless. I feel worthless.
Why do I even tell you this?
Just think about yourself and what do you feel.
I'm gonna listen to a band, that likes the drummer of a famous band that an emo band likes, so they all are emo. I can't believe that someone said that Bullet For My Valentine is emo. If so, then fucking Metallica is emo, too. And also Oasis, because Lars Ulrich likes them.
Take care.
xoxo
Posted on June 14th, 2008 at 10:46pm
i agree (:
Painter., June 15th, 2008 at 12:29:51pm
I get what you mean and agree with most of it. It's like the newspapers only write about teenage suicides to blame "EMO" for it. They sell better if they pick up popular bands and blame them in their articles for individuals chosing to end their own lives. It's not as interesting to read about for example a Japaneese teen-suicide because it happens pretty often (way too often) that teenagers there kill them selves because of all pressure. They just pick the ones that will make the best-selling story, they are aware that they'll create debate if they add bands in their articles and blame them for ppl killing themselves. It's sick...
I love the song Dead! I guess there's different ways to look at the song because that's not how I think about it. I just read through the lyrics and here's what the song means to me:
I believe that the song Dead! is more about them telling a story about a patient that gets to know that he only got two weeks left to live and he feels disappointed in life because he didn’t get out what he wanted from it – for example, he never fell in love. He’s bitter and starts thinking that nobody loves him and that no one probably will miss him when he’s gone.
It’s reflecting the kind of feelings that sometimes are filling us, the kind of view we sometimes have on life, we feel unloved, unappreciated and disappointed in life. They put the character in a situation really hard to handle, a situation that we’re not in – and thank god for that. I think the song’s message is that it can happen to everyone – you can die any time, so why not try to make the best out of your day and try to look at life in another more positive view? For me Dead! is about appreciating life and what you have today and try to make the best out of it. I know that life really sucks at times but it WILL get better in time, the question’s only where and when. For me it's also confirming that I'm not alone with despising life at times, that we all have our ups and downs. The song doesn't make me feel useless, it makes me try to appreciate life more and it's catchy and well, it makes me smile.
I really like what you're saying in this journal and agree with you!
You really mean A LOT to me! I LOVE YOU SFM! And I'm ALWAYS here for you, you can message or call me anytime, I don't care if it's in the middle of the night and you contact me just because you're bored or if you need someone to talk to. I'm here for you. Just wanted you to know that.
Bye for now <3 xoxo
Frida
Hi5ulation, June 15th, 2008 at 12:28:16am
Deadly=]
someone with a bit of sence:D
SundayGirl, June 15th, 2008 at 12:00:45am
I love the song Dead! actually... it's just so catchy... it actually makes me kind of happy because i kind of know that they aren't talking about me or anythinbg.
Bullet For My Valentine is dark, but I wouldn't say emo. Screamo? Sometimes.
Psychs suck. I had a counselour that was also a social worker and he was the bomb.
I hope you feel better about yourself.
Stephing Out, June 14th, 2008 at 11:26:39pm
i agree.
RoxyRazorbomb, June 14th, 2008 at 11:03:17pm