The problem with one night stands.

Here's the thing, I'm not gonna make this all clean because the fact is probably everyone will have a one nighter with someone at one point. I'm just writing this to see if I can make sense of wtf is going on my head.

I'll start from the beginning. I see this man every now and then, I cross paths with him maybe once a week. The first time I saw him i knew somehing was gonna happen with him. Dunno how. I wasn't particularly attracted to him...I just knew something was gonna happen. Something did happen with him...like, maybe a coupla months ago, y'know?

I was walking down town; naturally I was pretty off my face after coming from the pub, had no money for a taxi so decided to walk home. I blacked out somewhere before and lost me ciggies, so then I saw that man and asked him for a ciggie. He says he hasn't got any but he's got some wacky tabacky. So I ended up going back to his place...I was sobbering up so I had like... 5 or 10 shots of jimmies then had like...maybe 2 or 3 billies to start off with...probably to totally it up that whole night I would have had like 12 shots of jimmies and 5 billies.. So as you can imagine I was pretty gone. So then I was with this guy. His name's Jake. That night was like magic and everything because I was pretty baked and pissed...So now the problem is after that one nighter I want it to happen again.

That's the biggest head f- up ever. It's a one nighter, but I wish I would bump into him like that again. Last Mondie I saw him and he asked me for my number, but I told him I didn't have a mobile...I'm too conservative for that crap...but he probably thought it was a lie and a knock back. But he seriously doesn't know how much I think about him and what he'd be doin'.

I was thinking that I probably just wanted to affection...not the sex...just the affection.

I just wish that night replayed itself. It was the very first time that I actually wanted to stay where I was. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. It confuses me too much. ._.