The Guitarist and the Bassist.

I've spent my summer chasing after the Guitarist, who I knew perfectly well I'd never have a chance with. And Hope is dangerously close to being snuffed out for good.

And as I come to terms with the inevitable, I meet the Bassist. At first, he revives Hope by feeding my ego, so I can feel more comfortable around the Guitarist. But let's face it; the Guitarist's first impression of me must have turned him off more than anything else he's ever encountered. Do we need to relive these few minutes of my life?

Guitarist: Hey, you must be Chelsea from Myspace.
Me: **BLUSHES MADLY and SAYS NOTHING.**

So our conversations have gotten less pathetic over these past months, but that first one is hard to live down.

The Bassist and I have not had that problem. Unbelievably, HE wrote ME first. (Why, yes, I DO live most of my life on Myspace. I am very lame. Get over it.)

His feeding of my ego has evolved into something more. I know this is the last thing one should assess, but the more I do assess it, the more things I find about the Bassist that I love, maybe even more than the Guitarist.

Here's what I don't get:
Why is it so hard for me to believe that someone is genuinely interested in me?

Some part of me thinks he just flirts with everyone, that he doesn't really like me as much as he says. But how do you know? Especially over Myspace. He can say absolutely anything he wants to, and there's no way for me to tell if he means it.

I am such a skeptic. -.-

But in some sense... my inability to tell what he really means... I love this about him too.

And tonight I may bid farewell to the Guitarist for good. I was wrong in thinking anything worthwhile could come out of spending my summer chasing after him.

So I may be dropping out of this competition after all, and entering one I have a better chance of winning?

I've been torn this way before, between the all-around perfect person and the person that's perfect for me. And my experience shows that's it's better to lean toward the person that's perfect for me.

Especially this time, when the Bassist will actually return my I love you's and the Guitarist just says "thanks."

Everybody loves a guitarist...
I'm no different.
But something about me that hasn't changed in two years...
I really have a thing for bassists.