Blind Fate

“Shit,” Ly spat as she stepped away from Jake, refusing to look at him. “Hi, Auntie.”

Lycoris and Thaliana stared at each other wordlessly—Thaliana with one eyebrow raised imperiously, Ly shrinking slowly into herself.

“G-good morning, Thaliana,” Jake finally cut the tension awkwardly.

The elevator doors began to ding closed, but Thaliana whipped out a hand, halting their movement. “Go,” she said, soft tone barely masking the edge in her voice. Jake gulped almost audibly, shared a glance with Ly which told him they both knew he needed to do as Thaliana said or suffer the consequences, and very nearly ran from the elevator to his office. “Come with me,” Thaliana demanded, finally turning her disapproving gaze from Lycoris as she did an about face.

Ly followed her aunt down the marble hall, trying desperately to shrink into herself. It seemed that over the past weeks, doing her best to disappear had become one of Ly’s most-practiced hobbies. She followed her aunt into her large office, almost running into Thaliana as she turned. Instead of chastising Ly with words, Thaliana just stared at her with hard brown eyes. No matter how many times she disappointed her aunt, Lycoris would never get used to having Thaliana’s disapproving stare locked on her instead of on some witness refusing to give answers. Ly tried to forget that she was wearing yesterday’s clothes and had her messy hair tied up in an even messier bun. She prayed to anyone listening that Thaliana wouldn’t notice.

Finally, Ly made the only peace offering she could. “I brought you coffee,” she muttered, almost under her breath, holding out the Starbucks cup. Thaliana sighed, her eyes softening as the gesture won her over. She deftly snatched the coffee from Ly’s outstretched hand and took a sip without spilling a drop—something Lycoris ranked near wizardry in the real world. Thaliana pressed her red lips together in thought and disapproval as she gave Ly a once-over.

After a long, wildly uncomfortable moment, Thaliana spoke. “I thought we were done with this, Ly.”
Lycoris shrunk into herself, remembering her panicked, miserable phone call with her aunt just the day before. “I know... I thought it was done too. I’m sorry.”

“You’re an adult now, Ly—this isn’t high school. You can’t be acting like a little slut anymore.”
Ly’s jaw dropped. Thaliana had never spoken to her this way, not even when she’d deserved it. “But I- I just... We didn’t…” She sputtered, incapable of forming coherent thoughts.

“You’re twenty-six, Ly! Are you just going to do this every ten years? It made sense when you were a teenager, after my sister died, for you to go a little crazy—but now? I can’t be cleaning up your messes anymore.” The harsh words didn’t fit Thaliana’s face at all. She was a statue. Ly could always expect the truth from her aunt, but never like this—and never this calm cruelty.

“Why are you being like this? We never-“

Thaliana cut her off with a sharp gesture. “I know you’re feeling sad about Hayden, but that doesn’t make it alright to go sleep with a man you hardly know! I’m sure he told you how pretty you are and that made you feel good, but it’s no reason to act like this, Ly!”

Lycoris fell into one of the thickly cushioned chairs in front of Thaliana’s desk as her aunt paced back and forth. She was still talking but Ly couldn’t hear any of it anymore. There was just a loud buzzing in her ears and the awful thump of her heartbeat, over and over. Why wouldn’t it just stop? She’d managed to fuck up—again. She couldn’t feel her feet. Ly looked down—they were still there, but she couldn’t feel a thing. What she wanted more than anything was to curl up in a ball and put her hands over her ears to drown out the buzzing. Ly couldn’t even let herself cry—she wouldn’t, not when it was her fault all over again.

She’d known she was screwing up when she’d started partying a few months after her mother’s death, drinking and doing some drugs—anything to stop thinking. By her sixteenth birthday she’d fucked a good third of her class. Her father didn’t notice or didn’t care—it was hard to tell in those days. He’d retreated into himself the day Osanna died and left Ly all alone. Thank God for Aunt Thaliana. Her auntie could take on the world, and would do so gladly for Lycoris. Thaliana became her rock, and when she found out what Ly had been up to, she put a stop to it.

Of course, at the time Ly had hated her for it, but Thaliana was only looking out for her. Thaliana was always doing what was best for Ly. She’d helped Lycoris get her grades back up, and while she couldn’t repair her reputation as the school’s easiest upper-classman, Thaliana never left her.
Thaliana’s hand on her shoulder brought Lycoris back to reality. She looked concerned, like she always did after she was finished with the tough-love.

“Look, I understand that it was a mistake, Ly. I just want you to think better of yourself. You don’t need to sleep with every boy who shows interest in you. You’re better than that.”

Staring into Thaliana’s dark brown eyes, so much like her own, Ly felt something flare inside her—something she hadn’t felt for a long time.

She was furious. “I didn’t sleep with him,” she strained through gritted teeth. For once, Thaliana looked surprised, taking a step back. “I didn’t sleep with him and I’m not a child anymore, Thaliana. If I decided I wanted to, it would be my choice, and none of your business!”

The shock fell from Thaliana’s face, covered with haughty certainty. “That’s good, Ly. I just want to make sure you don’t make another mistake-“

“If I make a mistake, it’s mine to make!”

“Yesterday you were telling me all about how you were done with Jake and he was just a stupid crush, weren’t you? What’s got you so upset about him now?” Thaliana spat back. She never liked to be wrong.

“Need I remind you that you were the one who set me up with Jake? Need I remind you that you told me we would be perfect together? You’ve known him for three years now—are you really going to admit to being that poor a judge of character?”

Ly watched, both heated and wary as her aunt leaned back against her desk, jaw clenched. For a few long moments, the two simply stared at each other—a battle of wills. Finally, Thaliana let out a sigh.

“You look just like Osanna when you’re mad at me, you know.” Ly’s anger softened a bit. “I really do just want the best for you, Ly.” Thaliana pursed her lips in thought before continuing, “It’s just that I know how hard things are for you, and I know you sometimes let people take advantage. As much as I know high school was a tough time for you—for us all—I do miss seeing that fire in you. Your mother gave you that fire. She was sweet, but she always stood up for herself.” Thaliana looked at her niece and Ly knew she wasn’t seeing the woman in front of her—Thaliana was seeing her sister. “Osanna left everything behind for your father, you know.”

“I know, auntie,” Ly said quietly. “She loved him. I won’t settle for any less than what they had.” She met her aunt’s eyes seriously, her gaze saying more about how she felt about Jake and how Jake made her feel about herself than any spoken phrases could.

At last, Thaliana gave her a brief smile. “Okay, get out of here, bumblebee. I’m done with you for today.”

Ly smiled back at her aunt, feeling better than she had in days. Maybe she’d never have Hayden on her side, but at least Thaliana was willing to give her a chance to make her own decisions.

-----

Before leaving MacDonald, Drakos and Dunne, Ly decided she was going to say goodbye to Jake. She walked down the familiar hallways, her heart light. From talking a bit with Jake, she could guess about where in the large building his office was. After a bit of perusing, Lycoris came across a door with a plaque bearing Jake’s name, just above someone called Jasper Thorpe. The door was open, so Ly knocked on the doorframe and poked her head into the room.

A flustered-looking blonde man looked up from behind a pile of papers, the light from his computer making him look tired to the point of being sick.

“Are you my 10 o’clock?” he asked as he stood, glancing at his watch. “You’re early.” He came from behind his desk, hand out to shake hers, and Ly realized it was not just the blue light of the computer making him appear ill. She guessed he was an overworked intern.

“No, no, I’m just a friend of Jake’s,” she assured poor Jasper as she shook his clammy hand.

“Oh,” he sighed, looking much less interested and running a hand through his already-tousled hair. “He took a personal phone call, he’s probably in the stairwell at the end of the hall,” he gestured over his shoulder with a thumb and returned his attention to the paperwork.

Ly thanked him, but Jasper was already immersed in his work and didn’t even look up. She moved down the hall, trying to be as quiet as possible so as to not bother anyone working. Coming to the end of the hall and turning the corner, Ly saw the door to the stairs was propped open a few inches. Lycoris could hear Jake talking inside, his voice echoing. As she reached for the handle, his words became clear.

“I’m sorry, you know I never meant to hurt you. You know that. Hayden, I’m sorry…”

Ly’s hand snapped back from the door-handle like it had been burned. She felt for a moment as if she’d swallowed hot coals and chased them with ice, and then there was nothing but a strong sense of being the most idiotic person on the face of the earth.