Was this a test or something else?

I'm so sad,can't figure out what's with my life,
could this be a test or something else?
it's just hard to decide when it comes to love.
could i still stand still until the very end?or I'm just going to cry,
and leave and say goodbye?i wish i could talk to God,and ask him why,
it's so hard to have a secret love,especially when you know they can't accept it immediately,
but i will fight for this,for i know that's what my heart say's,
and that's what my heart's want,to stay beside him,
i don't have the reason to leave him,it's just that,
the people around me,I'm hoping for it,
hoping for the acceptance,to the acceptance to the person i had loved.
when they stop me,i don't know what's the next thing i will do.
to find others warm arms to lean on?was that right?just leave him?tell me...