I have no clue how to do stuff and ... yeah. If anyone wants to help me, then that'd be great. Just like ... add me on LJ or PM me here.
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At home, today. Sick again. -sheepish-
I was sick in the morning, okay. >_________>
-sigh- Gawd ... my mood swings are really pissing me off, tbh. One day, I'm being a stupid pessimist, then the next, I'm bouncing around like a pixie. I'm not even gonna question what's wrong with me. I'll get the same answer anywhere: teenage-itus. -pouts-
I was going to write today. But ... then I didn't. Maybe I should now ... I dunno. It's too hot for me to think. D: And it's only the beginning of spring. Stupid god damn summer. I seriously wouldn't care if I had winter and autumn all year round. Buuuut, I can't. Unless I do something like Erin where I work at some Ice Hotel every year.
I had a strange dream last night ... about Nick; again. D< There was like this ... toilet block building, but instead of toilet cublicles, there was two elevators. In the left elevator, the wicked witch of the waste (from Howl's Moving Castle), was in there. There was also this little mouse/rat/hamster animal. I thought it was Nick. And I kept ... like, begging him to turn back into a human. Aaand, then the animal ran away. Obviously, it wasn't nick. So I sat down and cried. Then I woke up. >____>
I must have some stupid obsession, still. I mean, why couldn't he have just said nothing when I asked him if he was gay? Because in the few hours I thought he was gay, I totally got over him. And then ... when he laughed and said that he seriously was straight, I was in doubt for a while, but then went back to being all fan-girly over him. .________. Actually, I don't think I love him for himself. Because I don't really see him anymore (yeah, thanks for moving to Melbourne
), I think I've kind of ... changed the way I think about him. Well ... not really. I take that back. I admit, I cling to every possible memory I have of him and reply them in my head whenever I think about him. But to me, he just seems so ... perfect. I dunno what it is that like, draws me to him, but it sure is controlling and overwhelming. I wish he wouldn't get drunk all the time, though. And he should stop smoking. But who am I to say? I'm just ... a memory at the back of his mind. He probably doesn't even think about me anymore. Actually, let me say that again; he probably didn't think about me in the first place. -sigh-Okeh. I'm off to ... explore LJ.