I just stopped

caring. I don't care anymore. Ive been fucked over so many times I'm just through with it. I cry every day of my life. A lot of times more than once. In the past two weeks my boyfriend broke up with me. I went through this horrible week then we got back together. I then broke up with him. I really don't know why. I really don't know. Ive gotten high and drunk multiple times and I tried to make myself like this kid. There's a lot more details that i don't feel like explaining. But i just feel horrible. I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of crying. I'm just tired of it all. I don't know what to do. I just stopped caring. and thats NOT something i want to do. I love my friends. But i just stopped. Nothing even matters that much to me anymore. I'm a party person. Right now i should be out and about walking around my oh so familiar neighborhood. But no. this feeling has left me sitting at home wanting to do nothing all weekend. Its just not like me.
I don't know what the point of this journal is.
I just like to write it out.
Because when i start telling people things.
Thats when i get fucked over.
I just don't know how i can live 365 days each year for how many more years.
It just feels like eternity. I don't know how I'm going to do it.

I don't know.

and p.s anything I'm saying in here is not to show off or sound cool or anythinggg. its just me telling my story. so don't hateee.