Just what I needed; another place to be ignored.

What impact could a silly insane little girl like me make on the world?
How stupid I was to think I could actually be someone.
So I'll waste another breath and apologize for not being good enough.

I know what you're probably thinking.
"What a stupid little emo girl. This is a waste of my time."
But what if you were to read on and show you just what society could do to a person?
What if you could relate?
So read on or forget.
That's the way life usually goes.

Chapter one?
Who here feels like they can never fit in?
I feel like I'm the opposite of everything.
Like everyone's on one side of the two-way mirror; only seeing themselves while I can see all of them. Everything except me.

That's not right now is it?
I'm supposed to be one of society's ditzy little girls who only worry about what they should wear tomorrow or how to fix their hair to go with the latest styles. Wishing they were skinny rather than fat. How backwards is it that I wish I was fat rather than skinny?
How twisted is it that I wish to have that kind of ignorance? To be blissfully unaware of everything bad?
Can't I ever find someone who can understand how I feel?
I did once...His name was Alex. Had almost every problem I did. Loved him more than I thought was possible I did. What a loser I was for believeing him.
Yea I know right?
Another famous Hollywood heartbreak right?
Well how many of you have gone through it?

Had this boy...That at the snap of his fingers you were by his side? That at just the thought or sound of his name sent shivers down your spine and made your heart race?
You believed him; trusted him; and he did somthing to just fuck up all you had going for you. Yet you can't help but feel it's your own fault correct? And maybe part of it is...and now no matter how much you say you hate him you don't. The usual love story. Sucks that you have to go through that. Sorry if you have.

But here's a question..

How many of you gave up everything just to be around him? And I mean everything.
Your friends. Family. Life. Happiness. You gave him your all only for him to tell you that it just won't work after years of telling you you were his favorite.
How many of you gave it all just to wait for this boy and have him change his mind at the last minute?
Or better yet!
How many of you had people threaten you that they'd take their life if you were to be with this person?
Fun right?

I feel like a penny sometimes...that bronze and shiny coin. The only coin that has a "lucky side."
But I guess that's not always a good thing. They'll carry me around in their pockets after coming across me in the sidewalk or in the grass; happy just to have a bit of luck.
Guess my luck ran out. For they found somthing better. The one who shined more.
Who's liked more.
Who's worth more.
No more room for me. A shinny-less penny.
So I get left in the grass again waiting for someone else to come along.
Someone who feels pride when they have "a penny to their name."

I guess I should stop my useless rambling now. For those who read this:
Thanks for wasting your time and reading the story of some random girl.
It helps.

::C.Kkay::